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Old 04-04-2014, 10:15 AM
 
26,316 posts, read 24,413,788 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TracySam View Post
I'm always confused by people who think that when I respond to their comments of disagreement with questions or other examples to consider, that they believe I'm defending myself, or trying to convince people I'm right. I said multiple times, the point of my threat is not to try to prove I'm right, just to ask if people could honestly consider exceptions to this supposed hard-and-fast "rule." Evidently, they cannot.

It seems to go like this:
Other posters: "I told you so" is always wrong to say.
Me: I agree in most cases, but aren't there any exceptions?
Other posters: No
Me: Well what about this scenario? ...or this one....?
Other posters: You're just trying to prove you're right, and you like to make everything about YOU, and you're arrogant for ever thinking "I told you so" is appropriate, and you're also arrogant for your posts here.
Me: So is anyone going to respond to the specific scenarios and questions I posted?
Other posters: No, you're just wrong we all agree, so deal with it.


Well, isn't that an open, honest, mature debate?

It would just be refreshing if even one person could say "I generally think 'I told you so" is wrong, but I do see that in the few examples you gave, it might be appropriate, and I do admit that I've said it myself a few times."

I am always the first person to admit I'm wrong. I am consistent. Wrong about a fact that can be checked? Yes, I readily admit if I'm wrong. Wrong about an always/never assertion? Yes, I would also readily admit if I'm wrong. If someone believes something is "always" or "never" true, and when asked about a few examples, how they might respond to those examples, they see there's an exception, then the rule is no longer that the thing is always or never true. If at any time I've claimed that something is "always" true, and then someone points out an exception, I readily say, "Okay, then it's almost always true; I change my position."

I was very willing to say repeatedly that yes, in MOST cases, "I told you so" is a negative or unwarranted thing to say. But no one is able to admit that even though they believe it's a bad thing, that there might be very few, even one single exception to that rule.

I seriously doubt that everyone here has NEVER said "I told you so" or has never been faced with a person who mouthed-off so much, who was later proven wrong, that you didn't taken just an eeensy weensy little bit of satisfaction in saying "I told you so." I guess everyone here is a perfect saint but me. I bow to your superiority, and hope I can one day reach that level.
So, your trying to dictate what you believe others should say?
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Old 04-04-2014, 10:18 AM
 
5,574 posts, read 5,808,899 times
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I responded to your specific scenario. Just not to your liking.
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Old 04-04-2014, 10:19 AM
 
5,574 posts, read 5,808,899 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cremebrulee View Post
So, your trying to dictate what you believe others should say?
Yep. That's pretty much the case.
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Old 04-04-2014, 10:20 AM
 
9,228 posts, read 18,857,713 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cremebrulee View Post
So, your trying to dictate what you believe others should say?
Huh? Where are you seeing that?
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Old 04-04-2014, 10:36 AM
 
5,413 posts, read 5,111,718 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TracySam View Post
But no one seems to be responding to my questions about the possible exceptions I proposed. Just saying "Nope, there are no exceptions" is not really a mature way to debate. Why not actually read the proposed exceptions, try to put yourself into the place of the person in the scenario, and answer the questions I posited? If the answer still ends up being "no" I accept that, and we can disagree. But to respond to specific questions with blanket generalizations is not a very effective method of intelligent, honest, and mature debate.

Someone brought up my "sarcasm" thread, and now that I think about it, this does remind me of that. Once we got past the classic and evolved definitions of sarcasm, the discussion went like this one: Sarcasm is always bad.
What about this example? or this one? or this one? How would you respond to this situation?
Nope, always bad, so exceptions, and you're a bad person for saying otherwise.
But you didn't answer my questions. What about this example, or this one?
You're just a mean person and we all agree.


It's kind of funny, because outside of these two threads, I get people posting in threads and in rep comments how helpful I've been or how empathetic my posts were. But in these two threads, people draw conclusions that I'm self-centered and mean.
Your question has been answered numerous times....and you are still arguing. It's no wonder people in real life find you annoying and mean as well.

Face it - you are coming across badly - and if you want to change that, you have to change how you interact with people...not continue to try and bully and berate them into thinking exactly like you.

It's up to you....but stop complaining about how others perceive you if you aren't willing to change. ITYS is not a nice thing to say.....just get over it.
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Old 04-04-2014, 10:37 AM
 
5,413 posts, read 5,111,718 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TracySam View Post
Huh? Where are you seeing that?
Almost all your posts in this thread! Are you that blind to your own behavior?
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Old 04-04-2014, 11:09 AM
 
10,803 posts, read 8,014,824 times
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I don't see anything that says you're self-centered, mean, or trying to dictate what others say.

I DO see that you're fixated on insisting someone here acknowledge that you're "right". Which not-so-concidentally aligns with the thread topic. The topic and your posts indicate someone who has an unusually strong need for validation from others. You've made up your mind that ITYS is perfectly acceptable in some cases and you intend to keep using it. If you're so sure you're right, why do you look to others for validation? You come off as insecure and needy, and it's a little off-putting really.
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Old 04-04-2014, 11:24 AM
 
26,316 posts, read 24,413,788 times
Reputation: 16000
Quote:
biscuitmom I don't see anything that says you're self-centered, mean, or trying to dictate what others say.
she said

It would just be refreshing if even one person could say "I generally think 'I told you so" is wrong, but I do see that in the few examples you gave, it might be appropriate, and I do admit that I've said it myself a few times."

Her expecations are something that no one can live up to, and she is dictating what she would like people to say...but unfortunately, no one will ever be able to live up to her expectations, she sets them and herself up to fail everytime.

but yes, you are so totally right she is indeed looking for approval....
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Old 04-04-2014, 12:46 PM
 
9,228 posts, read 18,857,713 times
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I was not looking for approval, I was looking for conversation and healthy debate.

Saying "it would be refreshing to hear someone say..." is not the same as "dictating" what others should say.

"It's no wonder people in real life find you annoying and mean as well."
Huh, where did that come from?

A civil, polite give-and-take debate is seen as "bullying" and "berating"?

I also wonder how I can be self-centered and a "bully" but at the same time, I'm needy of validation and approval from others????? That's not really consistent, now is it?



Wow, people cannot handle a content-to-process shift. I switched from discussing the topic, to discussing how people were responding, not participating in the debate in civil or intellectually honest manner. I really feel sorry for folks who can't support their opinions based on their merit, and by responding to the questions and examples of their debate opponents, but instead they have to resort to blanket statements or personal comments about their opponent.

I guess I am really disappointed. Not because I require people to validate me or agree with me, but because I expected a higher level of intelligent debate and rhetorical skill.
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Old 04-04-2014, 01:14 PM
 
5,574 posts, read 5,808,899 times
Reputation: 16488
Aaaaaand when you fail to get the responses you're looking for, you resort to insulting everyone ... Instead of recognizing that there's a common refrain in what's being said by MULTIPLE posters.
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