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Old 04-04-2014, 11:45 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
23,592 posts, read 17,582,380 times
Reputation: 27682

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You want to be diplomatic about your success, but there is no need to obviously downplay it. There are many people out there who are jealous of even honest success. Ignore them and move forward. Don't rub your success in people's faces, but there is also no need to be a braggart. Be confident, not cocky. As long as you aren't being rude about your success, feel to bask in it as long as you earned it. It's well deserved without the criticisms of those who want a fraction of what you have.
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Old 04-05-2014, 08:33 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
7,215 posts, read 7,913,539 times
Reputation: 7740
I'm going to assume you aren't one of those people who are constantly talking about their upcoming trips, posting about it on Facebook, etc. That can get kind of old.

When my wife and I were younger, we were able to take a few vacations to some neat places (Europe, Dominican Republic, etc). Now that we are older and have a young son, we probably won't be taking any real vacations for quite a while. A lot of people I know don't seem to have that issue...seems like everyone I know was able to go to somewhere warm this winter, which would have been really nice, given the brutal cold winter we've had here in Wisconsin. I'm not jealous of anyone...everyone has a different place in life at any given time.

I would just ignore the jealous people. Go have fun and enjoy yourself.
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Old 04-05-2014, 10:04 AM
 
4,002 posts, read 3,223,268 times
Reputation: 13034
Stop telling them things that give them ammunition to get back at you with. Maybe even back off on talking to them at all, keep it just at small talk. No need to feel badly because you've been successful and they aren't.
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Old 04-05-2014, 10:32 AM
 
Location: Georgia
4,562 posts, read 4,097,733 times
Reputation: 15768
Is it possible you are being a little too sensitive about their remarks? "Must be nice!" doesn't necessarily mean someone is mean-spirited and jealous -- it could just be a little envy mixed in with well-wishes.

Either way -- you can't control how they feel about it. I'd say you and your husband should just enjoy your travels. No bragging, of couse, but no reason to hide it, either.
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Old 04-05-2014, 11:29 AM
Status: "could've~would've~should've used 'have', not 'of'" (set 22 days ago)
 
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
10,507 posts, read 14,330,903 times
Reputation: 23357
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
Is it possible that you are bragging about the trips too much? Or encouraging people to ask about them?
This. Unless the people making the remarks are the ones to bring the topic up.

I have a brother who simply won't shut up about his trips, his new toys, the things he buys for his girlfriend, etc. Always with detailed info about how much he spent on this that and the other, of course. Great I get it, you have money to burn on whatever you want, how nice, now can we pleeeease talk about something else?
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Old 04-05-2014, 01:02 PM
 
369 posts, read 800,556 times
Reputation: 339
Quote:
Originally Posted by CorinneBoston View Post
Hi Everyone,

I'm posting here because I'm not sure how much more I can take. My husband and I are in our early thirties, no children. My husband does well financially and we have a great life. We travel often
and do things that several of my friends and family can't do. We are going away to Carribbean next month and lately I have been hearing alot of sarcasm and comments from people regarding our traveling. Saying things like "that must be nice" or "living the good life". It doesn't come across as them being happy for me, but it comes across as resentful or jealous. I'm starting to feel guilty for being able to do these things and they can't.

I feel like I have to quiet about the positive things in my life.. How to deal with this??
Did you tell them about your success first?

If you did and keep talking about it, your friends and family will feel that nothing in their life is as interesting and worth mentioning to as yours. So they just keep being quiet about it except for giving brief comments in a sarcastic tone. In that case, you can't blame them totally for feeling this way because all of us somehow want people to hear the positive side of our life.

I always feel like, even if you are doing very well in life, whenever you meet your loved ones, always ask how their life has been recently first. If theirs are going well, you can follow up with the conversation by sharing your great news.

But if theirs are not as positive, you should tone down the positivity that is happening in your life.

This way, people will like you more.

Bottomline is: humility and modesty > pride
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Old 04-05-2014, 01:22 PM
 
7,099 posts, read 24,505,099 times
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..."I feel like I have to be quiet about the positive things in my life..."

That explains a lot! They are sick and tired of hearing about the positive things in your life. It's called "bragging." It's the same things as telling them that they aren't as wealthy, happy, successful, lucky or whatever as you are. It's rude.
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Old 04-05-2014, 03:15 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
1,818 posts, read 2,199,874 times
Reputation: 2773
Quote:
Originally Posted by fellowjoe View Post
I always feel like, even if you are doing very well in life, whenever you meet your loved ones, always ask how their life has been recently first. If theirs are going well, you can follow up with the conversation by sharing your great news.

But if theirs are not as positive, you should tone down the positivity that is happening in your life.

This way, people will like you more.

Bottomline is: humility and modesty > pride
I don't necessarily agree with this.

Let's say you are successful, or you have things that other people don't have, whatever that may be. If you're too humble and modest, some people will see that as an open invitation to snipe you, because they're jealous anyway and you're giving them an opening to attack you for it.

Sometimes, you have to be able to say, YES, I have/am these things and I'm proud of it, this is how it is and I don't care if it makes you happy or not. I'm not saying that a person should go around bragging, but if you always keep your head down and refuse to reveal your happiness and pride, people are going to walk on you.

Unhappy, unfulfilled people are everywhere - better to protect yourself by not being ashamed of your success, but being kind to others at the same time.
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Old 04-05-2014, 04:05 PM
 
Location: On a lake
45 posts, read 48,802 times
Reputation: 176
As a guy I find that I can't tell other guys much about my life. Like if I get a new car I don't tell my friends. Guys get very jealous of success.

As I have become financially successful and pulled ahead of my "friends" I have seen that they call me less and less. Guys are very competitive and hate it when they feel their friends are doing better than they are. Even though I never talk about my "stuff" they know and don't want to be friends anymore. Yes, I need new friends.

The worst ones are the professional guys like doctors that hate it when you do better than they do if you don't have doctor before your name.
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Old 04-05-2014, 04:14 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
1,818 posts, read 2,199,874 times
Reputation: 2773
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1010Guy View Post
As a guy I find that I can't tell other guys much about my life. Like if I get a new car I don't tell my friends. Guys get very jealous of success.

As I have become financially successful and pulled ahead of my "friends" I have seen that they call me less and less. Guys are very competitive and hate it when they feel their friends are doing better than they are. Even though I never talk about my "stuff" they know and don't want to be friends anymore. Yes, I need new friends.

The worst ones are the professional guys like doctors that hate it when you do better than they do if you don't have doctor before your name.
You're right. I have experienced the same thing, when I made a career change that opened up many doors for me. It's like a punch in the gut when you realize that someone you thought was a true friend, only liked you or wanted you around because you were "one down" in their mind, for whatever reason. Some people only want you when you're struggling, because it makes THEM look and feel better.

Jealousy and greed ARE out there. It's best to keep your eyes wide open.
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