U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
Old 04-05-2014, 04:19 PM
35,120 posts, read 40,064,647 times
Reputation: 62030


Originally Posted by CorinneBoston View Post
Hi Everyone,

I'm posting here because I'm not sure how much more I can take. My husband and I are in our early thirties, no children. My husband does well financially and we have a great life. We travel often
and do things that several of my friends and family can't do. We are going away to Carribbean next month and lately I have been hearing alot of sarcasm and comments from people regarding our traveling. Saying things like "that must be nice" or "living the good life". It doesn't come across as them being happy for me, but it comes across as resentful or jealous. I'm starting to feel guilty for being able to do these things and they can't.

I feel like I have to quiet about the positive things in my life.. How to deal with this??

We all make different choices in life and yours is to be married to a successful man, not have children and travel. As long as you are happy for yourself it doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks.

Why are you allowing them to control your happiness? The next time you hear those comments just smile and say "It is nice that we are able to travel because of the choices we have made" and "Yes we are living the life we have chosen to live", as long as you say it with a smile it isn't being mean.

They are more than likely envious and that is purely their issue and nothing you should be dealing with.
When the comment happens say something like I suggested or walk away. When they ask you why you are leaving tell them you do not appreciate their continued comments about how you and your husband choose to live your lives.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

Old 04-05-2014, 04:31 PM
2,839 posts, read 4,975,615 times
Reputation: 3702
Sounds like you may want to look for new friends that are "childless by choice" or whatever.

Though I might have retorted with "I chose to not have kids so I COULD do things that 'must be nice.'" Then I would probably have left.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 04-05-2014, 08:34 PM
571 posts, read 989,713 times
Reputation: 1447
I enjoy my life - but I don't need the world to know all my joys.

When I go on vacation, I don't announce it to anyone, other than the people who are going with me. I don't find ways to wedge my adventures on social media: "Anyone have a restaurant they can recommend in Paris?" There are people who feel they don't brag, but they do. It's such a part of who they are that they don't even notice they're bragging.

Jealousy comes in many different forms - not just material possessions. People can be jealous of relationships, outgoing personalities, looks, athleticism, kids, careers, etc.

It's my rule to not brag about any of the above. I have friends who post their kids report cards on social media, etc. - but I'm aware that I have friends whose kids have learning disabilities and they have daily struggles - why would I publicly brag about my kids? I am happy and proud about much in my life. I don't need others to know about it to bring me greater joy.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 04-05-2014, 08:58 PM
11,231 posts, read 8,373,983 times
Reputation: 20330
I hate that. Then when they want to bring up someone they've met who travels or is successful and they tell you about them saying "They're the REAL DEAL" like wth are you? Chopped liver? What's that saying: Surround yourself with people who celebrate you not just tolerate you. I'd just quit talking to them. Or maybe your set answer should be "we've worked hard for it". Enjoy it sis. You deserve it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 04-05-2014, 09:27 PM
369 posts, read 797,659 times
Reputation: 339
Originally Posted by stava View Post
I don't necessarily agree with this.

Let's say you are successful, or you have things that other people don't have, whatever that may be. If you're too humble and modest, some people will see that as an open invitation to snipe you, because they're jealous anyway and you're giving them an opening to attack you for it.

Sometimes, you have to be able to say, YES, I have/am these things and I'm proud of it, this is how it is and I don't care if it makes you happy or not. I'm not saying that a person should go around bragging, but if you always keep your head down and refuse to reveal your happiness and pride, people are going to walk on you.

Unhappy, unfulfilled people are everywhere - better to protect yourself by not being ashamed of your success, but being kind to others at the same time.
People will only walk over you if you allow them to. If you know the limits they have crossed and make that choice of defending yourself, people can't do anything that hurts you.

Besides, choosing to tone done the positive aspects of your life (depending on others' situation) is your choice, not a matter of whether people will walk over you or not.

I'm just saying that you should share your good news when the time or occasion is appropriate.

If it's your best friend or closest family member that you can trust, by all means just share your good news as and when you want.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.

Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 08:56 AM.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top