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I wonder if this is something that others have noticed or have to deal with themselves. I have a tendency to not say certain things when I communicate. It's hard to explain, I don't explain the obvious at times when I communicate with others and this has caused problems to a degree. In reality the "obviousness" isn't as obvious as it should be...I can't think of a real world example at this moment but the gist is that when we communicate sometimes we need to spell out things, I don't because I try to be more efficient with less words....
I think one time when I read a description of the INTJ personality type it eluded to this is a roundabout way......
I also do this when talking to others about say something technical, I jump to the logical conclusion and sometimes others don't and there can be a break in the communication....
You sound Larry David-esque in your communication abilities. Meaning, you seem to have a set of rules/expectations in your head that you're expecting everyone else to que in on although there's no way they ever could because these rules/expectations are unique to you and not social or cultural norms. Am I smelling what you're cooking here? Maybe I'm just seeing myself in what you wrote because I've had similar experiences, although mine normally have to do with my weird sense of humor and me foolishly thining everyone will "get" the joke or comedic observance at least.
It's normal to think that everyone else is on our wavelength all of the time.
The closest example for me is my level of sarcasm, which is usually meant to be humorous.
But often, it's taken literally. Too often.
Knowing your audience is more important than them knowing YOU.
It's a bit more than just thinking that people are on my wavelength.... I sometimes don't answer or communicate enough because of it.. I know it has caused some problems in my relationship with Mrs. Chow...
I'm becoming a bit more aware of it these days and sometimes I feel like I'm over communicating because of it..
I've read books about this subject and if you pay attention a lot of customer service people have been attending communications seminars ... they have a way of answering you by acknowledging what you say by parroting back to you... it's hard to explain but pay attention next time you interact with a big companies customer service....
It is annoying a bit too me, but I get that it's probably better to over communicate than under communicate.
You sound Larry David-esque in your communication abilities. Meaning, you seem to have a set of rules/expectations in your head that you're expecting everyone else to que in on although there's no way they ever could because these rules/expectations are unique to you and not social or cultural norms. Am I smelling what you're cooking here? Maybe I'm just seeing myself in what you wrote because I've had similar experiences, although mine normally have to do with my weird sense of humor and me foolishly thining everyone will "get" the joke or comedic observance at least.
Good god I hope not... that dude is really annoying to me.....
Good god I hope not... that dude is really annoying to me.....
Haha, come on man, Larry David is the best. When I have one of these moments you've described I start to hear his show's theme song in my head as I begin to slowly sulk and retreat.
I wonder if this is something that others have noticed or have to deal with themselves. I have a tendency to not say certain things when I communicate. It's hard to explain, I don't explain the obvious at times when I communicate with others and this has caused problems to a degree. In reality the "obviousness" isn't as obvious as it should be...I can't think of a real world example at this moment but the gist is that when we communicate sometimes we need to spell out things, I don't because I try to be more efficient with less words....
I think one time when I read a description of the INTJ personality type it eluded to this is a roundabout way......
I also do this when talking to others about say something technical, I jump to the logical conclusion and sometimes others don't and there can be a break in the communication....
Anyone picking up what I'm throwing down????
Yes, this tends to happen when I assume others have the same level of understanding or reference point on a particular subject or simply in an interaction. Sometimes I think it is caused more to how my mind / thought works. I have a tendency to always think of the 'reciprocal' of something. Akin to means and extremes ( literal / figurative) as it helps me process what is being spoken in a sort of rhythm [I guess is the best way to describe it - as if my synapses are trying to test the bounds of everything that was said / stated could possibly mean].
The end result of this is, on occasion, I'll say something which people will verbally respond to or simply in body language facial expression etc... convey that 'oops', perhaps I didn't explain myself well enough. It is one reason I enjoy the time I spend on CD and in forums as it allows one to express thoughts more cogently, and writing them forces one to include things I may in verbal discussion leave out as being understood (when they often were not).
In the business environment in particular, I have found - depending on the variety of boss/ supervisor I have had, or who something is being reported to - that over time one develops a 'cut to the chase' speech cadence / thought pattern that things get omitted i.e. the self filtering.
A position I held in corporate training helped with this, as I had to learn to express concepts / subjects in multiple ways to better assist understanding amongst disparate audiences.
In interpersonal communication, it can go either way (the sort of condescending perception one can receive from another when you express too much detail - as if, they are 'slow / ignorant' or - 'the cut to the chase' mentality from the work environment which starts to (IMO) get others to perceive you as being to 'matter of fact' and not as personable. Another method of communication I find irritating is the roundabout cajoling techniques (inference).
I've often thought that when we bring business speed and conciseness of communication to personal communications (especially those we have close relationship with) that it hinders interpersonal relationships. Especially as the majority of workplaces have become more accelerated. For fun you may want to engage in one of those exercises with your SO on what her preferred language 'style' is (communication / love).
Illustrating your communication quandary in mathematical terms, it reminds me of elementary school math, when a teacher would reprimand or correct me for not "showing my work" on how I derived the answer with all the steps. Same sort of issue - I'm processing 'the steps' in my head and assume this is understood. Funny because depending on the type of work environment one is in as an adult, either way of communicating may be preferred.
Yes, this tends to happen when I assume others have the same level of understanding or reference point on a particular subject or simply in an interaction. Sometimes I think it is caused more to how my mind / thought works. I have a tendency to always think of the 'reciprocal' of something. Akin to means and extremes ( literal / figurative) as it helps me process what is being spoken in a sort of rhythm [I guess is the best way to describe it - as if my synapses are trying to test the bounds of everything that was said / stated could possibly mean].
The end result of this is, on occasion, I'll say something which people will verbally respond to or simply in body language facial expression etc... convey that 'oops', perhaps I didn't explain myself well enough. It is one reason I enjoy the time I spend on CD and in forums as it allows one to express thoughts more cogently, and writing them forces one to include things I may in verbal discussion leave out as being understood (when they often were not).
In the business environment in particular, I have found - depending on the variety of boss/ supervisor I have had, or who something is being reported to - that over time one develops a 'cut to the chase' speech cadence / thought pattern that things get omitted i.e. the self filtering.
A position I held in corporate training helped with this, as I had to learn to express concepts / subjects in multiple ways to better assist understanding amongst disparate audiences.
In interpersonal communication, it can go either way (the sort of condescending perception one can receive from another when you express too much detail - as if, they are 'slow / ignorant' or - 'the cut to the chase' mentality from the work environment which starts to (IMO) get others to perceive you as being to 'matter of fact' and not as personable. Another method of communication I find irritating is the roundabout cajoling techniques (inference).
I've often thought that when we bring business speed and conciseness of communication to personal communications (especially those we have close relationship with) that it hinders interpersonal relationships. Especially as the majority of workplaces have become more accelerated. For fun you may want to engage in one of those exercises with your SO on what her preferred language 'style' is (communication / love).
Illustrating your communication quandary in mathematical terms, it reminds me of elementary school math, when a teacher would reprimand or correct me for not "showing my work" on how I derived the answer with all the steps. Same sort of issue - I'm processing 'the steps' in my head and assume this is understood. Funny because depending on the type of work environment one is in as an adult, either way of communicating may be preferred.
Yes, this has happened to me, as well. I assume a level of "common knowledge" that others don't find so common. In fact, they find it down right esoteric. I blame the schools since I am always faultless myself. Plus, I hate "showing my work." Obviously, I've done my work since I have arrived at the right answer. This was one of my pet peeves in high school geometry class. (Do they teach geometry these days?)
Seriously, I sometimes forget that I may have read up more on a subject or been more interested in it or whatever than the person I'm speaking to. I figure everyone else is right there with me when they're not. Trouble is, I hate dumbing down my conversations. I guess sometimes I just don't get others as much as they don't get me. I am working on this.
I wonder if this is something that others have noticed or have to deal with themselves. I have a tendency to not say certain things when I communicate. It's hard to explain, I don't explain the obvious at times when I communicate with others and this has caused problems to a degree. In reality the "obviousness" isn't as obvious as it should be...I can't think of a real world example at this moment but the gist is that when we communicate sometimes we need to spell out things, I don't because I try to be more efficient with less words....
I think one time when I read a description of the INTJ personality type it eluded to this is a roundabout way......
I also do this when talking to others about say something technical, I jump to the logical conclusion and sometimes others don't and there can be a break in the communication....
Anyone picking up what I'm throwing down????
Lol, I am this way. Long-winded, rambling stories that diverge into multiple tangents are one of my biggest pet peeves when people start talking.. I don't even enjoy doing this myself. It's like you ask someone a simple question about the weather and instead, they are telling you about the first time they made spaghetti when they were 12... Hah, yeah, I leave alotta sh.. out, just bc (to me) it seems unimportant or way too redundant to delve all the way into for the sake of "small talk"..lol
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