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Old 04-06-2014, 03:48 PM
 
1,709 posts, read 1,675,235 times
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I have a little sister in 5th grade. She's extremely bright, very athletic, and a friendly and outgoing kid who gets along with everyone well-she's incredibly well rounded. She has this general group of friends, but the problem is she doesn't do much with them. I want her to get involved in things with her friends (like play sports or do after school activities), but she's totally apathetic. Her primary excuse for everything is that she is concerned she won't be good at any of these activities, which I know isn't true (see second sentence). It seems like she is just too shy. I've tried convincing her that she's more than capable of doing any kind of activity, and I've tried to provide incentives for her to do stuff, but she's totally unwilling as of yet. So how can I convince her to try new activities?
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Old 04-06-2014, 03:53 PM
 
Location: Viña del Mar, Chile
16,411 posts, read 26,238,678 times
Reputation: 16496
Quote:
Originally Posted by OuttaTheLouBurbs View Post
I have a little sister in 5th grade. She's extremely bright, very athletic, and a friendly and outgoing kid who gets along with everyone well-she's incredibly well rounded. She has this general group of friends, but the problem is she doesn't do much with them. I want her to get involved in things with her friends (like play sports or do after school activities), but she's totally apathetic. Her primary excuse for everything is that she is concerned she won't be good at any of these activities, which I know isn't true (see second sentence). It seems like she is just too shy. I've tried convincing her that she's more than capable of doing any kind of activity, and I've tried to provide incentives for her to do stuff, but she's totally unwilling as of yet. So how can I convince her to try new activities?

Help her find something that really catches her interest and support her in that. Some people might bash you on here for trying to make her do anything out of her comfort zone but I think it's great what you're doing. I also think it's extremely important.

Eventually, she will find something that sparks her interest and more than likely really excel. Just keep doing what you're doing. Kudos for putting in the effort.
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Old 04-06-2014, 04:22 PM
 
Location: So Cal
40,470 posts, read 39,987,496 times
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Chloroform, a rope, and threats of violence usually work for me.....
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Old 04-07-2014, 05:30 PM
 
Location: Sunny Bay Area, CA
1,566 posts, read 1,782,731 times
Reputation: 3250
Hopefully she'll just grow out of this. Otherwise not much you can do. No one likes to be forced into anything. She's pretty young still, so maybe as she matures she'll get over this. Not understanding how she is outgoing yet shy? Like someone else said, kudos to you too - good older sibling
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Old 04-07-2014, 09:44 PM
 
Location: Dallas TX
15,026 posts, read 21,743,419 times
Reputation: 22209
She is lacking confidence. Start with small steps helping her build it. Can you do some activities with her? Maybe she needs someone she trusts with her to he her full self.

You aren't going to change her, support he for who she is. Help her be the best she can be.
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Old 04-08-2014, 08:52 AM
 
Location: Canada
9,076 posts, read 8,347,641 times
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If she's afraid she won't be good, instead of just pushing her to try, be her mentor, not give her incentives. If it's important to you, you should be willing to get involved instead of just telling her what you think she should do. What does "really athletic" mean? Does she already know how to play certain sports or is she missing the tools and confidence? We aren't born knowing how to swing a baseball bat, or know how to direct a soccer ball with your foot to get it toward the goal.

Ultimately though, what you think she should like and what she actually does, may not be the same thing. You can want something for her but it's useless if she doesn't want it for herself.
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Old 04-10-2014, 05:58 AM
 
3,245 posts, read 5,279,416 times
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Leave her be, some people prefer the quiet. My thirteen year old is like this, has plenty of friends, very athletic and intellectually interesting but generally has a single friend he likes to spend time with, and even than only in limited doses.

Otherwise he's well adjusted, very engaged in dinner time conversation, excellent relationship with his older brother and a somewhat broad range of interests.

What's normal for some is not normal for all.
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Old 04-10-2014, 06:07 AM
 
Location: between Mars and Venus
1,526 posts, read 848,964 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NYC2RDU View Post
Leave her be, some people prefer the quiet. My thirteen year old is like this, has plenty of friends, very athletic and intellectually interesting but generally has a single friend he likes to spend time with, and even than only in limited doses.

Otherwise he's well adjusted, very engaged in dinner time conversation, excellent relationship with his older brother and a somewhat broad range of interests.

What's normal for some is not normal for all.


This
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Old 04-10-2014, 11:33 AM
 
Location: Pennsylvania
16,355 posts, read 10,343,687 times
Reputation: 28521
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYC2RDU View Post
Leave her be, some people prefer the quiet. My thirteen year old is like this, has plenty of friends, very athletic and intellectually interesting but generally has a single friend he likes to spend time with, and even than only in limited doses.

Otherwise he's well adjusted, very engaged in dinner time conversation, excellent relationship with his older brother and a somewhat broad range of interests.

What's normal for some is not normal for all.
my vote is for this one too.
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Old 04-10-2014, 11:37 AM
 
Location: Dallas, TX and Las Vegas, NV
5,699 posts, read 4,422,611 times
Reputation: 11675
WIIFM ...... the key to persuading anyone to do anything is "What's in it for me??". if you can provide her an incentive or a reason that is meaningful to her, she will respond. So far, your efforts have not hit the target.
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