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Calling the police isn't going to work unless mom and daughter together tell the police that the brother is there against their will. That, at the moment is not true. He is there with mother's consent so who knows if she would change her mind and actually say " get him out" and go to court to file a restraining order against him.
I do agree that the OP is, with good reason, probably afraid of her half brother. He should never have been allowed into the apartment. Once there, it's not going to be easy to get him out. I suspect this is why the OP keeps posting but so far as we know, has not taken any steps to remove him. There's a whole bunch of co-dependency, dysfunction and pure fear in this situation.
The OP is going to have to find the courage to make those phone calls to the landlord, elder services, the parole officer. The landlord could evict, elder services has a variety of options . The parole officer can take action when it is know that the brother is drinking heavily, especially if caught in the act. Child protective services can even be called. Sleeping on a couch in an apartment when the child and her mother's being there is breaking a lease cannot be a good situation. They may be able to help the mother get her own place, deal with the crazy baby daddy, etc.
Unfortunately, doing any of the needed steps is going to cause a lot of drama. The brother has a violent past. I suspect the OP is terrified of his potential reaction. Just a terrible situation with no easy solution.
But the NIMBY concept for ex-felons in America is nearly universal. Employers don't want to employ them, people don't want to live with them or near them, family members don't want to forgive them, and the law is always harsher for repeat offenders even though the deck is stacked more against them economically and socially. I sympathize with criminals a great deal because the fundamental attribution error is wielded against them (and their associates) consistently. People believe ex-felons are "fundamentally" a separate and inferior class of people even though study after study shows that most of one's propensity to commit crime is entirely controlled by childhood poverty, parental education level, and a handful of other non-chosen demographic factors. Much of society believes that "their" actions represent a fundamental quality of their being that non-criminals don't possess, and so they are left on the outskirts of society and subjected to steep odds of ever integrating once that first conviction occurs. This merely reinforces the vicious cycle.
That's all. :/
I absolutely do not have prejudice against most ex-felons (pedophiles and rapists can be shot on the spot, as far as I'm concerned). Some of my previous posts on C-D show that I have been involved in organizations that specifically reach out to prisoners.
My concern and hesitation with this SPECIFIC situation is that (1) there is an elderly person involved who may or may not be in a position to handle the additional stress of the situation, and (2) the barrier to reacclimation within the family (and society) is difficult enough without involving an extra female and her child, and (3) there is a real and immediate risk to everyone in this household with a violent ex lurking around the corner. Of all three concerns, the last one swayed my opinion about the matter.
As the OP originally stated, why can't the gf go live with her family? I understand that she may want to be near her bf, but by doing so, she is putting everyone there at risk. It would be different if she was relocating from her own place for any reason other than domestic violence. What is an elderly woman supposed to do when this violent ex shows up and demands to know where the gf is at any given moment? What is the OP supposed to do if he breaks in and attacks the family just because he knows the gf has been staying there? What can anybody do if he decides to hurt the child? The inherent risk of someone without the ability to rationally think through to logical conclusions is that anybody perceived to be "in their way" is a potential target. The gf, herself, should realize the risk she is putting on this family and remove herself from the situation.
So, to be clear here, my opinion has little to do with the brother's past criminal activity. It has to do with his current bad choices to put his own mother and sibling at risk because of the drama with his current gf and her ex and to knowingly use his mother's favoritism to allow this situation seems to be purely selfish.
I absolutely do not have prejudice against most ex-felons (pedophiles and rapists can be shot on the spot, as far as I'm concerned). Some of my previous posts on C-D show that I have been involved in organizations that specifically reach out to prisoners.
My concern and hesitation with this SPECIFIC situation is that (1) there is an elderly person involved who may or may not be in a position to handle the additional stress of the situation, and (2) the barrier to reacclimation within the family (and society) is difficult enough without involving an extra female and her child, and (3) there is a real and immediate risk to everyone in this household with a violent ex lurking around the corner. Of all three concerns, the last one swayed my opinion about the matter.
As the OP originally stated, why can't the gf go live with her family? I understand that she may want to be near her bf, but by doing so, she is putting everyone there at risk. It would be different if she was relocating from her own place for any reason other than domestic violence. What is an elderly woman supposed to do when this violent ex shows up and demands to know where the gf is at any given moment? What is the OP supposed to do if he breaks in and attacks the family just because he knows the gf has been staying there? What can anybody do if he decides to hurt the child? The inherent risk of someone without the ability to rationally think through to logical conclusions is that anybody perceived to be "in their way" is a potential target. The gf, herself, should realize the risk she is putting on this family and remove herself from the situation.
So, to be clear here, my opinion has little to do with the brother's past criminal activity. It has to do with his current bad choices to put his own mother and sibling at risk because of the drama with his current gf and her ex and to knowingly use his mother's favoritism to allow this situation seems to be purely selfish.
Excellent points.
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