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Old 04-10-2014, 11:56 PM
 
Location: mainland but born oahu
6,657 posts, read 6,401,484 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyflower3191981 View Post
Exactly!!!!!
"All it could take would be for Junior to tell his real Daddy or day care teacher or neighbor that "Mommy's friend touched my pee-pee".

I agree to but if i was a divorced dad or a father, i would be very angry if some guy tried to take that role when its not needed.

Lily great thread.
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Old 04-11-2014, 01:49 AM
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
18,586 posts, read 23,131,512 times
Reputation: 48552
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyflower3191981 View Post
My friend is currently dating a single mother. She has a four year old son.

He helps around the house and is a really supportive boyfriend. His girlfriend wanted him to bathe her toddler but my friend was very uncomfortable with the idea. He doesn't want to touch the toddler which I can certainly understand where he is coming from.

Do you believe my friend is overreacting?

Thank you

No. Actually I don't think that he was overreacting.

They are just dating and she is asking him to do something that normally only a parent or close relative would do.

Helping around the house is one thing. Providing intimate child care is another.
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Old 04-11-2014, 01:53 AM
 
41 posts, read 82,606 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyflower3191981 View Post
My friend is currently dating a single mother. She has a four year old son.

He helps around the house and is a really supportive boyfriend. His girlfriend wanted him to bathe her toddler but my friend was very uncomfortable with the idea. He doesn't want to touch the toddler which I can certainly understand where he is coming from.

Do you believe my friend is overreacting?
No, he is not. A man who gets involved with a woman may be her boyfriend, and he may also do well around kids in general, but dating her doesn't mean he has signed up to be her kid's new father. PS., at four, he is most certainly not a toddler - toddler's don't walk or talk.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
Bathing intimates a level of care that a 6 month boyfriend is not yet deserving of.
Hah!, don't make me laugh. Taking care of a kid is not a gift or treat that people look forward to.
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Old 04-11-2014, 01:54 AM
 
8,080 posts, read 13,417,859 times
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Just to clarify a 4 year old isn't a toddler.
Toddler is 1 to 3 years old..
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Old 04-11-2014, 01:56 AM
 
8,080 posts, read 13,417,859 times
Reputation: 10322
Quote:
Originally Posted by PaperPlanes View Post
No, he is not. A man who gets involved with a woman may be her boyfriend, and he may also do well around kids in general, but dating her doesn't mean he has signed up to be her kid's new father. PS., at four, he is most certainly not a toddler - toddler's don't walk or talk.



Hah!, don't make me laugh. Taking care of a kid is not a gift or treat that people look forward to.
Toddler is a 1 to 3 year old..Very much walking & talking ...
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Old 04-11-2014, 06:54 AM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
32,992 posts, read 19,960,878 times
Reputation: 12883
Quote:
Originally Posted by hawaiian by heart View Post
"All it could take would be for Junior to tell his real Daddy or day care teacher or neighbor that "Mommy's friend touched my pee-pee".

I agree to but if i was a divorced dad or a father, i would be very angry if some guy tried to take that role when its not needed.

Lily great thread.
Yeah, one of my brothers has dated couple single mothers, he never volunteered providing intimate care for the young babies or toddlers, or young boys or girls. My brother didn't want to get in trouble.

My guy friend in the situation feels the same way.

Same question goes to the biological fathers though, what if the young child tells others, "My daddy touches my pee pee." Isn't that the same concern for biological fathers?
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Old 04-11-2014, 06:57 AM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
32,992 posts, read 19,960,878 times
Reputation: 12883
Quote:
Originally Posted by hawaiian by heart View Post
"All it could take would be for Junior to tell his real Daddy or day care teacher or neighbor that "Mommy's friend touched my pee-pee".

I agree to but if i was a divorced dad or a father, i would be very angry if some guy tried to take that role when its not needed.

Lily great thread.
Thank you HBH, but what if it is the mother who asked the boyfriend to provide this kind of intimate care for her son or daughter? Believe me, careless women do exist out there.
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Old 04-11-2014, 07:11 AM
 
1,339 posts, read 2,959,179 times
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Creepy and risky, if you ask me.

Kids should be taught that nobody, but nobody other that Mommy and Daddy should be allowed to see or clean their private parts. Doctors or nurses can do that ONLY when Mommy or Daddy are around. Period.
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Old 04-11-2014, 07:12 AM
 
1,640 posts, read 3,285,045 times
Reputation: 3473
I think someone is giving this too much thought. A 4 year old is more than capable of washing themselves with only minor supervision. He will only need help with his hair (rinsing). I don't see anything wrong with a mom's BF supervising bath/shower time. I used to babysit a lot as a young teen, and I bathed countless children. I think it's sad in today's society that people are so paranoid about being accused of inappropriate behavior, that they consider a totally harmless activity like bathing a small child "inappropriate".

Fill the tub, hand the kid the soap and washcloth and bottle of shampoo, check to make sure he's rinsed his hair well and voila. 4 year olds can dry and dress themselves, too!
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Old 04-11-2014, 07:16 AM
 
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
10,391 posts, read 14,230,723 times
Reputation: 22886
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyflower3191981 View Post
Yeah, one of my brothers has dated couple single mothers, he never volunteered providing intimate care for the young babies or toddlers, or young boys or girls. My brother didn't want to get in trouble.

My guy friend in the situation feels the same way.

Same question goes to the biological fathers though, what if the young child tells others, "My daddy touches my pee pee." Isn't that the same concern for biological fathers?
Oh for... your brother VOLUNTEERING would be creepy, especially if they are just 'dating'. A woman in a serious relationship with a guy asking him to do the things a father does hardly means she's careless. Biological fathers can and do molest children. Women molest children. The hysteria around guys being around kids is stupid.

If you can't trust the guy around your kids WTH are you doing with him in that kind of serious relationship in the first place!???
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