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Old 04-13-2014, 10:28 PM
 
13,369 posts, read 6,608,031 times
Reputation: 12823

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Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyflower3191981 View Post
HBH, I understand where the passion is coming from. But put yourself in these young men's shoes, do you really believe they want to jump in the role of a care giver of a young child? Seriously, moral aside, political correctness aside, should've could've would've aside, who wants to put themselves in such a situation?

Several days ago I started a thread "Your boy is just too old to be going to a girl's bathroom." Majority of the moms don't even feel comfortable sending their 7 8 9 year old boys to men's bathroom, what makes you think that these men feel comfortable around a young kid 24/7?

My friend is not out of line here and he certainly does not want to take the father's role. He is trying to make the situation better honestly. I honestly believe that when it comes to intimate care of a young child, the job should be given to the mom 100%. It is not that hard. Why even ask the guy?

adult men + naked child = HUGE GIANT no no
I don't get the bolded. I've seen it several times in this thread. Bio-dads should not bathe or change diapers of their own children?

I think they should not bathe girls past a certain age - but what are custodial fathers supposed to do - hire someone to bathe their children? A woman, perhaps, who might be a child molester herself while he is not?

Women do molest and rape.

Did you watch 3 men and a baby? When watching did you think 'ew, look, they are touching her privates during a bath, omg!' no - they had to wash and dry and apply powder and rash creme.....
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Old 04-14-2014, 01:20 AM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
32,980 posts, read 19,956,391 times
Reputation: 12880
Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
No way in hell.
exactly!
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Old 04-14-2014, 02:10 AM
 
Location: U.S.A., Earth
4,455 posts, read 2,855,846 times
Reputation: 3948
Quote:
Originally Posted by McaVacationDivas View Post
Yeah because the babysitter is either their sibling, their father or other female relative.
So those of us who move into a new area with no family close by are stuck being with never letting their children out of sight until they're 13?
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Old 04-14-2014, 07:06 AM
 
111 posts, read 102,448 times
Reputation: 397
Quote:
Originally Posted by ackmondual View Post
So those of us who move into a new area with no family close by are stuck being with never letting their children out of sight until they're 13?
According to Mr Obama they are your responsibility till they are 26
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Old 04-14-2014, 07:13 AM
 
7,496 posts, read 9,717,446 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DubbleT View Post
I'm thinking we shouldn't let men alone in a room alone with a woman either, because as we all know men are known to commit the majority of rapes and physical abuse. Obviously too dangerous to be alone with them until you marry them, and even then it seems awfully risky...
It's not just about the fact that a little kid could be abused. It's about a man being pushed to do things in a relationship that he might not be ready for yet, and maybe does them to please her even if it makes him uncomfortable.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ackmondual View Post
For those who say the 6 month bf shouldn't be involved in these intimately close things (ie. bathing the child, even changing diapers), would you let a babysitter do this? Either way, under what conditions?
It's a tough call either way these days. Men and women and underage kids have been known to abuse little kids. I can't really answer that I guess because I wouldn't trust anyone with my kids so it's probably a good thing I don't have kids because parents have to make sacrifices in order to work and do other things to keep up on their lives.
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Old 04-14-2014, 07:39 AM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
32,980 posts, read 19,956,391 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Osito View Post
It's not just about the fact that a little kid could be abused. It's about a man being pushed to do things in a relationship that he might not be ready for yet, and maybe does them to please her even if it makes him uncomfortable.


Exactly! This is the focus of the thread. If my friend doesn't feel comfortable with "intimate care of a young child" responsibility, his boundary should be respected.
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Old 04-14-2014, 08:00 AM
 
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
10,382 posts, read 14,226,100 times
Reputation: 22864
Quote:
Originally Posted by Osito View Post
It's not just about the fact that a little kid could be abused. It's about a man being pushed to do things in a relationship that he might not be ready for yet, and maybe does them to please her even if it makes him uncomfortable.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyflower3191981 View Post
Exactly! This is the focus of the thread. If my friend doesn't feel comfortable with "intimate care of a young child" responsibility, his boundary should be respected.
There are a couple of arguments going in this thread.
You OP, and several others, have stated "Nope, never, not in a million years, a man should never be alone with a naked child". Yeahhhh... a bit over the top for some of us.
My argument is that if the adults involved are in an relationship and considering becoming a family unit it's kind of silly to expect that the guy should be too afraid to take on parental duties that include bathing and diaper changing. It's a huge double standard based on the guy being male, as if being male automatically makes him untrustworthy.
Saying a guy should never ever blah, blah blah has nothing to do with setting or respecting boundaries. You have yet to say that you think it would be okay if both adults were comfortable with it. That would be the part about respecting boundaries, the part where both people are fine with it.
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Old 04-14-2014, 08:05 AM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
32,980 posts, read 19,956,391 times
Reputation: 12880
Quote:
Originally Posted by DubbleT View Post
There are a couple of arguments going in this thread.
You OP, and several others, have stated "Nope, never, not in a million years, a man should never be alone with a naked child". Yeahhhh... a bit over the top for some of us.
My argument is that if the adults involved are in an relationship and considering becoming a family unit it's kind of silly to expect that the guy should be too afraid to take on parental duties that include bathing and diaper changing. It's a huge double standard based on the guy being male, as if being male automatically makes him untrustworthy.
Saying a guy should never ever blah, blah blah has nothing to do with setting or respecting boundaries. You have yet to say that you think it would be okay if both adults were comfortable with it. That would be the part about respecting boundaries, the part where both people are fine with it.
If you want to take the risk of getting your life ruined, then go ahead.

Why must a guy provide "intimate care to a kid doesn't belong to him"? It is just strange to me.

He can certainly help around the house, take the mom and the kid out for dinner and lunch, he can certainly play sports with the kid, etc, etc. Why does he have to be in the bathroom with the kid if he doesn't feel comfortable? I don't get this.
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Old 04-14-2014, 08:09 AM
 
Location: 500 miles from home
29,722 posts, read 16,475,984 times
Reputation: 22326
As a single Mom (my son is now 18 so no longer an issue); I would never have asked any boyfriend to bathe my son. IF it were hugely serious and we were engaged, etc - then I think that's a different story.

Just boyfriend/girlfriend - I think the mother is making a mistake. Even though 4 is old enough to need fairly minimal supervision - it's just too soon.

What if this doesn't last? She's encouraging a level of intimacy that should be reserved for a father, step father, fiance, etc.
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Old 04-14-2014, 08:13 AM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
32,980 posts, read 19,956,391 times
Reputation: 12880
"mommy touched my pee pee"

"mommy's new boyfriend touched my pee pee."

You can honestly tell me you would have EXACTLY the same reaction if a jr told you these.

There are enough stigma associated with men dating single moms already. Let's not pretend the stigma is not there.
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