Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
No, I don't blame him at all. It's a bit inappropriate. I question the mom, though - red flag, if you ask me.
why, just b/c she doesn't think the same way as some of us do?
People, should understand, just b/c she thinks and feels one way doesn't make her wrong....and us right, it is simply the way she was bought up. She sounds as if she is fine, and I could be wrong, but we shouldn't judge unless we know. I know how naieve my foster mother was...and something like that wouldn't bother her....however, different time....but just saying.
why, just b/c she doesn't think the same way as some of us do?
People, should understand, just b/c she thinks and feels one way doesn't make her wrong....and us right, it is simply the way she was bought up. She sounds as if she is fine, and I could be wrong, but we shouldn't judge unless we know. I know how naieve my foster mother was...and something like that wouldn't bother her....however, different time....but just saying.
I don't think the mother really had any bad intention. If anything, obviously, she trusts my guy friend and it is not necessarily a bad thing.
I remember when my brother was dating this particular single mother, she asked him to baby sit all the time because she was busy pursuing her career. She also expected my brother to bathe her child (he was also 3-4 at the time, I don't remember) My brother would babysit, but often time, he asked me to babysit with him, he NEVER provided intimate care for the young jr. That is asking for trouble.
I don't think it is the trust issue, it is the boundary issue. An adult man and a naked child (regardless of gender) just don't mix.
Yeah, one of my brothers has dated couple single mothers, he never volunteered providing intimate care for the young babies or toddlers, or young boys or girls. My brother didn't want to get in trouble.
My guy friend in the situation feels the same way.
Same question goes to the biological fathers though, what if the young child tells others, "My daddy touches my pee pee." Isn't that the same concern for biological fathers?
Quote:
Originally Posted by DubbleT
Oh for... your brother VOLUNTEERING would be creepy, especially if they are just 'dating'. A woman in a serious relationship with a guy asking him to do the things a father does hardly means she's careless. Biological fathers can and do molest children. Women molest children. The hysteria around guys being around kids is stupid.
If you can't trust the guy around your kids WTH are you doing with him in that kind of serious relationship in the first place!???
I suppose you were confused by my reply? My brother NEVER volunteered to provide intimate care for the child, he was smart and didn't want to ask for trouble.
As for the guy friend in question, what difference does it make? Even if he was asked by the mother to help the child with intimate care, if he doesn't feel comfortable, he doesn't feel comfortable. Not really a foreign concept if you ask me
well, in the perfect world, we don't have to worry about this, but since we are living in "The hysteria around guys being around kids" world, don't you think the guy needs to protect himself ? Do you know what kind of trouble a guy can get himself into if the jr tells another person
When our kids were 4 years old they bathed themselves but one of us did sit in the bathroom with them to make sure they actually used soap, shampoo, a washcloth and actually washed every inch of the skin with said soap, shampoo and washcloth.
We did help with the shampoo and rinse because it is shampoo and can easily get into eyes, other than that we did not physically bathe our children.
If the she wants the boyfriend to supervise with the door open I don't see much of an issue however, I would not physically touch the child during a bath outside of helping rinse the shampoo out.
I'm sure your friend is a good guy (why else would he be questioning this), but I have to think of it from the point of view she should be using. What does she know about this man? Has she even checked his criminal record? What does she really know about him after six months of "dating"???
My mom has a picture of my stepdad changing my diaper around the time they started dating, and even though my stepdad is not a child molester, it made me sick the first time I came across it. That's why I have to laugh when my mother says stuff like "I was always real careful with you guys!"
What about biological fathers? Do they have the same concern?
What if the Jr. tells the other person, "daddy touched my pee pee." would bio father get in troubles for that?
Which reminds me about my ex boyfriend. He is a divorced father when I was dating him. He would ask his mother to bathe the child (mind you that he is a very devoted supportive father). He is very careful because his ex can be a little bit vindictive. So you never know.
What about biological fathers? Do they have the same concern?
What if the Jr. tells the other person, "daddy touched my pee pee." would bio father get in troubles for that?
Which reminds me about my ex boyfriend. He is a divorced father when I was dating him. He would ask his mother to bathe the child (mind you that he is a very devoted supportive father). He is very careful because his ex can be a little bit vindictive. So you never know.
Hopefully (I know not always the case), women are very vigilant about who they're having kids with.
Seems to early for me. I'd think it was normal after they were engaged or married in the sense that she would probably be asking him to step into a real father role. If he is going to raise that boy for the next 14 years, he is the boys father. No matter who the sperm donor was.
Seems to early for me. I'd think it was normal after they were engaged or married in the sense that she would probably be asking him to step into a real father role. If he is going to raise that boy for the next 14 years, he is the boys father. No matter who the sperm donor was.
I guess this is not really an issue of timing, it is not about when, it is about never in my opinion.
I just think an adult man who is not the bio father and a naked child = trouble
Should just stay away. Let the mother handle it. Guy can help her cooking, cleaning the house, take the kids to school and such, but intimate care, no no, like never.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
