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Old 04-11-2014, 10:47 AM
 
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I was wondering: does anyone please have any advice, on what to do when friends are not understanding of a person needing to work long hours at the office, and they write you off because of it? I have lost multiple friendships because of this, but it's not like I really have a choice in the matter even if I wanted to do something differently, since otherwise I will not be able to get mandatory work done that I need to at work, and will get into trouble because of that (I'm talking about really long hours, such as 60+ hours a week, on a regular or on-going basis and for months on end.) Any advice anyone could please provide would be deeply and very much appreciated, thanks
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Old 04-11-2014, 10:58 AM
 
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If your friends leave you because of that, they weren't really friends. Cultivate the friends who stick with you and let the others go. You cannot control what others do, and what they do is a reflection of their own character.
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Old 04-11-2014, 11:09 AM
 
Location: Terra
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Friend invited me to some hotel event a couple weeks ago. I said I need to stay home all week and catch up on work because I was off 4 days on vacation. She said "Wow, L A M E !!!"

I told her to "s t f u".

This week she invited me out to happy hour with her.

You need new friends.
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Old 04-11-2014, 11:14 AM
 
Location: Canada
9,068 posts, read 8,338,149 times
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I agree with Chaofan, they're not really friends if they can ditch you like that. True friends would accommodate you, and try to work around your hours, or plan something on the weekend (assuming you have weekends free). Sometimes plans won't fit your schedule since they have to suit the greatest number of people, but otherwise I don't know what the issue would be that they'd just bail.

Are the long hours something you have to do or just wind up doing? Is it a normal part of your job, or does it occur seasonally (i.e. tax season)?
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Old 04-11-2014, 11:23 AM
 
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If my friends can't understand that my job/career is a higher priority in my life than socializing, then they can hit bricks. I don't need 'em.
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Old 04-11-2014, 11:52 AM
 
15,254 posts, read 16,821,569 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Knight2009 View Post
I was wondering: does anyone please have any advice, on what to do when friends are not understanding of a person needing to work long hours at the office, and they write you off because of it? I have lost multiple friendships because of this, but it's not like I really have a choice in the matter even if I wanted to do something differently, since otherwise I will not be able to get mandatory work done that I need to at work, and will get into trouble because of that (I'm talking about really long hours, such as 60+ hours a week, on a regular or on-going basis and for months on end.) Any advice anyone could please provide would be deeply and very much appreciated, thanks
If they're writing you off because they know you'll never be able to say "yes" to their invitations, I'm not sure what else they're supposed to do. If you don't have time for them, you don't have time for them and it seems natural that they would stop asking after a while.

The only thing I can think of that you can do is explain that you'll be working 60+ hours/week for the foreseeable future and you'll give them a call if anything changes. And then do make a point of keeping in contact with them, even if it's just grabbing a cup of coffee before you have to go to work.
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Old 04-11-2014, 11:55 AM
 
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Just wanted to say thank you to everyone who wrote back, for everyone's helpful feedback and thoughts.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011 View Post
Are the long hours something you have to do or just wind up doing? Is it a normal part of your job, or does it occur seasonally (i.e. tax season)?
Where I work at and for almost 10 years now, whenever someone left or went somewhere else, mgmt. would not fill the vacancies, and everyone who was still there ended up being assigned all of their responsibilities. So work that used to be done in the past by 2, 3, 4, 5, or more people are now being done by say or 1 or 2 people max...most of the time even just 1 now. As a result and since there is just not enough total time to get everything done in, I usually work long very hours in the office every week, even many times every day of every week
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Old 04-11-2014, 11:56 AM
 
2,478 posts, read 4,865,765 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by apexgds View Post
If my friends can't understand that my job/career is a higher priority in my life than socializing, then they can hit bricks. I don't need 'em.
If my friends want to put towing the company line, making some CEO richer, over friends and family, then I don't need'em.

Life's too short to work all the time. But someone has to make the rich richer. Keep up the good work.
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Old 04-11-2014, 12:32 PM
 
5,574 posts, read 5,831,065 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ankhharu View Post
If my friends want to put towing the company line, making some CEO richer, over friends and family, then I don't need'em.

Life's too short to work all the time. But someone has to make the rich richer. Keep up the good work.
Sorry, but I've never been one to be satisfied with bare minimum 40 hours if there is work that needs to be done. If I have to meet a deadline, I will do what it takes. If I tell my boss that I can't meet a deadline because I'd rather go hand at the bar with my friends, I'm quickly going to find myself without a job.
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Old 04-11-2014, 12:39 PM
 
Location: Southwestern, USA
15,354 posts, read 12,114,801 times
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I would drop my friends an email sometimes...probably say,

"I wish. I didn't have to work so much...I sure would rather be
having a drink and catching up with you instead...thinking of you...
write me anytime if u want to tell me what's happening with you....
Someday soon I'll get caught up here."
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