contacting old girlfriend from 20 years ago on facebook - etiquette?

[bamadad]

After reading all the comments, I have to agree that contacting old flames can be a slippery slope. At a recent class reunion, although we all looked a lot different, in many cases, I was blown away at how the familiarity with one another came back so easily, even after so many years. It was really great to renew some of these relationships (some who I dated) and nothing bad has come from it.

But I do now regret the email to the old flame and second email to explain the first. While I would love the opportunity to talk with her, what if she's married or in a relationship and it causes her problems or results in an emotional affair or worse? My mistake, should probably leave the past in the past in this case.

[DrEarth]

Isn't that what Facebook is for? To "stalk" people whether friends or not? I don't see the big deal for sending a message or friend request. If she doesn't respond, then you have your answer.

[Vincent Rathbone]

I recently had a dream about an ex girlfriend from about 30yrs ago and it's been driving me up the wall ever since, I've never forgotten about her and I still care about her after all these years, I'm tempted to make contact via facebook but I'm nervous about it incase she rejects my friend request.

[Sassybluesy]

I think it's fine to reach out. If she's not interested, she won't respond.


I would not think it weird or creepy if I recieved something like this;


"Hi Sassy, I was reminicsing the other day about when I was younger, places I used to go, old friends and such, and I got to wondering about you, and remembering you fondly. I thought your name might be different now, so I looked up your dad, and through him, came across your name.


So how have you been? My life is good. I'm married, and have 3 boys. They're all in high school. I work as a manager for a tech company in San Diego.


So how about you? What's new? I always think of you fondly, and hope life has been good to you. I'd love to hear from you to catch up if you're agreeable to it. - John

[Sassybluesy]

Originally Posted by bamadad

I recently contacted an old GF of 20 plus yrs. She isn't on FB that I know about and neither am I. I came across her email by chance. I have very fond memories of her but I ended the relationship in a way I regretted(she was crazy about me but I wasn't ready). She contacted me during our college years once but I was in a relationship so I didn't reciprocate. I recently made the contact just because I wanted her to know how fondly I remember her and sorry for my thoughtlessness back in the day. I hope I didn't come across creepy our strange but now fear I have. I will not persue any further contact but hope I didn't do the wrong thing and cause her concern.

She might've appreciated the closure bamadad.

[jmcahacker]

What do you mean by not using her real last name? If you don't know if she's married or not then how do you know it's not her real last name? If you are truly meaning no harm then send the request. She'll accept or she won't, either way no harm done.

I have exes that are friends and there's nothing weird or creepy. We knew each other a long time ago and still have some common interests so we chat here and there on different posts. That said I also had an ex that I had to unfriend and block because he kept private messaging me wanting to reminisce about the old days in a much more personal nature than "hey, remember that concert we went to? " So, yes, go ahead and send the request but NOT if you're planning on trying to stir anything up. That's just wrong.


HAHAHA I just saw this original post is 4 years old! I guess if you were a stalker she's blocked you by now!