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Old 04-17-2014, 07:11 PM
 
28,906 posts, read 46,623,864 times
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Just go. You've been fretting over this for years now. If you stay, you'll always wonder. If you go and it doesn't work out, there's always a job you can find.
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Old 04-17-2014, 08:45 PM
 
47,576 posts, read 60,518,304 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Desert kid View Post
When I graduate, I'll be taking a road trip back east to clear my conscience and visit a couple Grad schools.

I have the money saved up, but I also have it stressed to move out, which I also want to do. But I also REALLY want to quit my job. After a few disgusting things I've seen there in the last little while, I just want to quit when the semester ends and go hunting for work after a few weeks of travelling around.

Dad doesn't want me to quit, yells when I talk about quitting. My resolve towards it has become stronger because it could just give me a reason to defy him once and for all.

So, should I quit and take my trip but plan on moving out with the risk of finding my stuff in the front yard when I get back home. Or, just take the two weeks off at my job for my trip, because I'll need the money to move out.
It won't hurt that you're visiting grad schools --- and you have enough money to travel but still save some for a deposit and first month's rent.

Sometimes if you don't travel at your age, you never will --- you're in a good position to do some exploring as you're not tied down with wife and kids or a career yet.

If you want to travel -- then just do it. Some people have a need to travel, others don't. There's a lot to see out there in the big wide world --- also some grad schools to see.
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Old 04-17-2014, 10:14 PM
 
Location: Southeast Arizona
3,189 posts, read 4,123,650 times
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Both parents cornered me tonight saying that they have no idea why I'll go on this trip. And you know, I'm throwing my money away on nothing, screwing off my savings and "life is just a bowl of cherries for you". Just tuned them out.

Didn't tell them about quitting the job though, although they know I want to.
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Old 04-17-2014, 10:25 PM
 
16,801 posts, read 14,467,642 times
Reputation: 37866
Quote:
Originally Posted by Desert kid View Post
Both parents cornered me tonight saying that they have no idea why I'll go on this trip. And you know, I'm throwing my money away on nothing, screwing off my savings and "life is just a bowl of cherries for you". Just tuned them out.

Didn't tell them about quitting the job though, although they know I want to.
Good work. Just smile and say, "I hear you." Offer nothing. It is your life, you are 21.

I can almost guarantee that once you start making your own decisions and following through, they will back off. It will dawn on them that they have no leverage. You have to understand that being the parent of a young adult is uncharted territory for them too and they have to learn how to do it. They WILL adjust.
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Old 04-17-2014, 10:39 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
21,636 posts, read 14,232,924 times
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It sounds as if your parents are scared that you will never come home or will somehow mess up. Or perhaps they don't like to take risks?

I agree with others that is time for you to decide what you want to do, without their input, because they only want you to stay, whether you want to or not.

One of my children left home and drove across country before he had passed his bar exam. He found work until he did, in a strange city, and made new friends there too. I did not hold him back, because this was what he wanted. It was an adventure for him.

It is a shame that your parents are so frightened, but if you look at their actions in that light, perhaps you can understand everything better.

When you leave, be sure to tell your folks that you love them, and that you are glad you are their son. Don't leave on a bad note. Be positive. Even if your mom cries, and your dad gets mad. Try and understand them, but you have to find your own path.

Good luck! Be safe.
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Old 04-17-2014, 10:53 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
1,764 posts, read 2,326,258 times
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There was a time when one could quit a job and be reasonably sure they could find another. We are not living in those times now. Typically, I'm all for younger people getting out to explore the world. It's a nice goal but one you want to do without shooting yourself in the foot. Stay at the job until you get another offer and then negotiate your start date so you have a little break in between jobs to visit grad schools.

Congratulations!
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Old 04-17-2014, 11:46 PM
 
Location: Southeast Arizona
3,189 posts, read 4,123,650 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mjd07 View Post
There was a time when one could quit a job and be reasonably sure they could find another. We are not living in those times now. Typically, I'm all for younger people getting out to explore the world. It's a nice goal but one you want to do without shooting yourself in the foot. Stay at the job until you get another offer and then negotiate your start date so you have a little break in between jobs to visit grad schools.

Congratulations!
That's just the thing, I leave on my trip on May 15th.

Makes the timetable a bit more cramped between school, work, internship and graduation.
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Old 04-18-2014, 12:59 AM
 
16,801 posts, read 14,467,642 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Desert kid View Post
That's just the thing, I leave on my trip on May 15th.

Makes the timetable a bit more cramped between school, work, internship and graduation.
Meh, you'll be fine. If you get in a jam, drive up to North Dakota, or head down to Texas. The beauty is you can go anywhere! You could line up job interviews all over the country, and just drive your ass where you need to be on the right day!
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Old 04-18-2014, 01:02 AM
 
Location: Southeast Arizona
3,189 posts, read 4,123,650 times
Reputation: 2104
Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa View Post
Meh, you'll be fine. If you get in a jam, drive up to North Dakota, or head down to Texas. The beauty is you can go anywhere! You could line up job interviews all over the country, and just drive your ass where you need to be on the right day!
I'm on a bit of a set course, involves driving through most of Texas and onward to Mississippi and then to Tennessee.

I got a campus tour lined up at Ole Miss, and a Vanderbilt professor who wants to show me around as well.

I'm still debating whether to take my tried and true 98 Chevy Silverado, or a rental.
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Old 04-18-2014, 01:08 AM
 
Location: North Phoenix/Moon Valley
993 posts, read 2,549,302 times
Reputation: 1330
You seem to be a pretty levelheaded "adult" and your parents remind me of us several years ago. Most of our kids ( 5 out of 6 of them) are older than you. We, my husband and I, used to think and say the same things as your parents, but only because we cared and wanted you to have an easier transition into adult reality. The truth is still "hindsight is 20/20". Every adult deserves to make their own way. Parents can give advice until they are blue in the face, but everyone has to go through the school of hard knocks to learn a lesson and be successful. The school of hard knocks is always going to be the best teacher of life with of course the "foundation" that your parents have given you. Strive on and do what your gut tells you. We came around to all our adult children and your parents will too eventually. Be patient and as another poster said, tell your parents you love them and appreciate them. I will go a little further in advising you to also tell them, you really appreciate all of their insight, experience and advice, you know they only have your best interests at heart, you have learned a great deal from them growing up , but now is the time to trust that their guidance and influence has given you all you need to move forward and be successful. It is time for them to let go and trust in you that you will always keep in mind the lessons they have taught you and you will apply them to the life experiences you are now trying to create for yourself. Good luck and God speed!
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