U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 04-21-2014, 12:46 PM
 
Location: southwest TN
8,225 posts, read 14,929,741 times
Reputation: 14983

Advertisements

Compassion - I'm 2 months shy of 65 and I think I have quite a bit of compassion. However, there is a line to draw between compassion and being a dishrag. I'm not here to soak up all your emotional spills. I have a friend, 10 years younger than I who has constantly got a problem. She cannot commit to going anywhere because she is uncertain how she'll feel, whether her husband will be off work to drive her (she has a license and her own car!), blah blah blah. Truthfully, I can handle being around her for short periods of time. And that is my solution. I schedule her company for a specific length of time after which I have something I must do.

Then again, I don't have a lot of sympathy for bar patrons. It's a freaking BAR. People go there to drink. Don't like the TV channel? Find another bar, this one has this channel or show on. Personally, I hate sports bar places to eat, no matter how good the food. I cannot stand the noise of TVs. I'm hearing impaired - and have been for many years. So put captioning on. If someone is interested in the show, they can sit and read it and the rest of us can actually communicate to others. Don't like the choice of programming? Find another bar to get drunk in. And that's the solution for the bar owners to have a younger group of drunk patrons: choose your noise/programming to suit the age.

I didn't hang out in bars as a young person - the only people you meet there are drunks!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 04-21-2014, 01:28 PM
 
Location: southern california
55,665 posts, read 74,620,384 times
Reputation: 48173
Quote:
Originally Posted by NY Annie View Post
Compassion - I'm 2 months shy of 65 and I think I have quite a bit of compassion. However, there is a line to draw between compassion and being a dishrag. I'm not here to soak up all your emotional spills. I have a friend, 10 years younger than I who has constantly got a problem. She cannot commit to going anywhere because she is uncertain how she'll feel, whether her husband will be off work to drive her (she has a license and her own car!), blah blah blah. Truthfully, I can handle being around her for short periods of time. And that is my solution. I schedule her company for a specific length of time after which I have something I must do.

Then again, I don't have a lot of sympathy for bar patrons. It's a freaking BAR. People go there to drink. Don't like the TV channel? Find another bar, this one has this channel or show on. Personally, I hate sports bar places to eat, no matter how good the food. I cannot stand the noise of TVs. I'm hearing impaired - and have been for many years. So put captioning on. If someone is interested in the show, they can sit and read it and the rest of us can actually communicate to others. Don't like the choice of programming? Find another bar to get drunk in. And that's the solution for the bar owners to have a younger group of drunk patrons: choose your noise/programming to suit the age.

I didn't hang out in bars as a young person - the only people you meet there are drunks!

Interesting before ADA deaf were discriminated against in bars
See the film the music within with Richard pimentel
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-21-2014, 01:32 PM
 
Location: southern california
55,665 posts, read 74,620,384 times
Reputation: 48173
The new persecuted minority old people
Seems like we always need a whipping boy don't we
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-21-2014, 01:34 PM
 
13,677 posts, read 13,590,780 times
Reputation: 39892
Hell, if I had to retire to Houston, I'd be pretty damn miserable too.

Find a new bar. This one's not going to be able to block patrons based on their age, and the old folks have evidently settled in for the duration.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-21-2014, 02:34 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,018 posts, read 17,735,102 times
Reputation: 32304
Quote:
Originally Posted by Huckleberry3911948 View Post
The bad news buddy if you live it's going to happen to you
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilac110 View Post

Because from where I sit, there are two choices: Running for President and getting round-the-clock care like Ronald Reagan did, or putting a bullet in one's own head in one's early to mid-60s, when one is still of sound mind and body. Everyone else becomes vulnerable. Why? Because of attitudes like yours, that old people are a pain or crazy, an inconvenience that should be kept out of sight of the rest of society.

Shame on you. Really.
First, to Huckleberry: I am 70 and I disagree strongly that it's inevitable that everybody is going to turn into an unpleasant complainer and narcissist when they get old. I don't know what the percentages are, but for sure there are plenty (even if a minority) who do NOT become such pains in the a**.

Next, to Lilac: I disagree with your criticisms of the OP. He is reacting not out of a pre-existing prejudice, but in response to a situation which he actually experienced and which he has described for us. The subset of seniors he encounters at the bar (we can assume) are as he describes; and at age 70 I couldn't stand to be around them either. The OP's attitude did NOT create the poor behavior of that particular group of seniors.

The lesson I draw from this thread is the importance of having something significant to do as we age, something intellectually challenging, something which requires focusing on others rather than on ourselves, some hobbies/activities other than going to a bar on a regular basis.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-21-2014, 02:58 PM
 
Location: Location: Location
6,350 posts, read 7,827,052 times
Reputation: 18574
He drew a circle that shut us out; heretic, rebel, a thing to flout.
But love and I had wit to win; we drew a circle that took him in.

Maybe if you made an effort to engage these people in conversation to distract them from their complaints, or attempted to find out if they had any other interests besides being a pain, you might find that you've made a sweeping generalization about all old people based on the behavior of those few.

I'm sure they all had something they enjoyed and would again if the opportunity arose. Find out what sports they might be interested in, or what music was on the hit parade when they were younger.

I'm 78. I like hockey, golf, baseball. I like music from the era of the Big Bands to when cRap began. I've appeared on stage and have a pretty good sense of comedy timing. The only person I complain to is my doctor. And the cable company. And at the bar down the shore, I got involved in the trivia games and the D.J. contests.

These people might really be a pain or crazy, but if you make an effort, you might find they have something to contribute.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-21-2014, 03:24 PM
 
Location: St. Mary's County, Maryland
165 posts, read 161,166 times
Reputation: 315
Of course Cher would say that there is no good thing about getting old. I wouldn't listen to her.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-21-2014, 03:41 PM
 
17,002 posts, read 20,676,296 times
Reputation: 33988
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oildog View Post
More of a rant...

We have some senior facilities in our neighborhood. There are a couple area pubs that that are within a mile of their facility that some of them (seniors) have started to frequent. At first people didn't mind as they would just come in for a beer. But as time went on (about a year) staff and other patrons cringe when they show up. They all complain about their living situation and how they don't like others they live with...because the others are old and complain all the time...or they are too loud. Not surprisingly, they try to engage in 'conversation' (meaning they talk at) with anyone who comes near them....Except the other seniors. Usual topics are needing money, pains and medical procedures, minorities, wanting to move somewhere else....and they don't shut up. Its having your elderly relatives come over for happy hour daily.

They are demanding, often asking to get the TV changed if they don't like the program, wanting background music changed or turned down. Complaints about the strengths or volume of drinks etc. It gotten to the point that a couple of them have told they are not welcome anymore. Another has been belligerent and would proposition patrons before passing out in a chair (now banned). (meds may have kicked in).

Initially patrons felt sorry for them as they figured they were lonely and bored. But we have found them to be rude, bitter and unpleasant to be around. Now most patrons try to avoid them and Staff stops serving them once they become rude and often calls a cab for their mile ride home (which may be the MO of a few of them). The business is debating the awkward choice of not accepting these patrons.

Maybe if senior facilities had a bar, these people could go there to complain, and leave the rest of us peacefully alone.

Maybe you need to spend less time in bars.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-21-2014, 03:50 PM
 
17,002 posts, read 20,676,296 times
Reputation: 33988
Quote:
Originally Posted by NY Annie View Post
Compassion - I'm 2 months shy of 65 and I think I have quite a bit of compassion. However, there is a line to draw between compassion and being a dishrag. I'm not here to soak up all your emotional spills. I have a friend, 10 years younger than I who has constantly got a problem. She cannot commit to going anywhere because she is uncertain how she'll feel, whether her husband will be off work to drive her (she has a license and her own car!), blah blah blah. Truthfully, I can handle being around her for short periods of time. And that is my solution. I schedule her company for a specific length of time after which I have something I must do.

Then again, I don't have a lot of sympathy for bar patrons. It's a freaking BAR. People go there to drink. Don't like the TV channel? Find another bar, this one has this channel or show on. Personally, I hate sports bar places to eat, no matter how good the food. I cannot stand the noise of TVs. I'm hearing impaired - and have been for many years. So put captioning on. If someone is interested in the show, they can sit and read it and the rest of us can actually communicate to others. Don't like the choice of programming? Find another bar to get drunk in. And that's the solution for the bar owners to have a younger group of drunk patrons: choose your noise/programming to suit the age.

I didn't hang out in bars as a young person - the only people you meet there are drunks!

Exactly on the bar comments. You know what? Clientele can change over the years. You don't like who is going in there now, find another place to hang out. Pretty simple.

I went to a bar a couple of months ago that a friend suggested. It was full of 20 somethings, while they played 80s music(my generation) I wasn't comfortable, nor did I want to be around people young enough to be my children(no offense to 20 somethings).

One time was enough.

If the OP doesn't want to be around cranky seniors who have seemed to taken over the bar, than go elsewhere.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-21-2014, 04:10 PM
 
Location: Kansas
19,185 posts, read 15,021,691 times
Reputation: 18249
At 60, I didn't care much for the title of the thread. Since I have some years behind, best advice for those that don't like what is going on at that bar, don't go. How simple is that? Surely there isn't a shortage of bars because that is something that I have never seen anywhere. I see no way to ban people because they are senior citizens. I haven't been in a bar in almost 40 years but having living among many, many retired and still doing so, I don't agree that they are all or that a majority are a pain or crazy. I have learned so much from conversations with older people. I was taught to respect my elders and we always called the older people in our neighborhood, Grandpa or Grandma ***** whatever their last name was. Yes, there are some who are exactly like the OP describes but just as many are a pain or crazy in all the other age groups. Learn to appreciate diversity and to move on if you are somewhere that makes you unhappy. I would not want to be among people that did nothing but complain and talk about their medical issues so I choose to be with older people that are upbeat. At age 35, my best friend was 83 and we had a world of things in common!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top