U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 05-02-2014, 02:11 PM
 
3 posts, read 3,941 times
Reputation: 14

Advertisements

deleted

Last edited by beherenow77; 05-02-2014 at 03:06 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 05-02-2014, 02:28 PM
 
Location: southwestern PA
20,419 posts, read 37,464,474 times
Reputation: 39034
Sounds like you are just as much attached to her!

I am surprised you are depressed and anxious. You should be happy to go on a new adventure with your husband. You need to suck it up and tell her, in person.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-02-2014, 02:43 PM
 
3,445 posts, read 5,039,744 times
Reputation: 6092
To long to read without paragraphs....
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-02-2014, 02:49 PM
 
5,444 posts, read 4,810,167 times
Reputation: 15020
looking at your subject line, it is pretty easy.

"Hi mom. How are you? I'm fine, thanks for asking. By the way, I'm moving 600 miles away. I'll call you when I get there."
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-02-2014, 02:50 PM
 
Location: Chicago
3,275 posts, read 4,744,726 times
Reputation: 4036
Your mom needs to grow up and realize that her children's lives are no longer hers to dictate. IMO, she's acting like a total brat about your brother moving. She seems quite toxic and totally self absorbed.

I have a friend whose mom is like yours and I feel for her. She cannot do things that normal people do because she is worried about her mom. I know her mom loves her and I think she would be upset with herself if she realized how much her guilt trips have hurt my friend.

I think you need to just come out and tell your parents. You know that your mom won't take the news well, but there isn't much you can do about that. She needs to be an adult and deal with her issues; she probably should see a therapist so she can learn how to let go. If your mom starts making you feel bad remind her that you are an adult and you are doing this to better your life. If she can't understand that, I don't know what to say, it isn't a tough concept that children grow up and move on with their lives.

You shouldn't let her guilt trips run your life at 36 years old.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-02-2014, 02:50 PM
 
3 posts, read 3,941 times
Reputation: 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by 30to66at55 View Post
To long to read without paragraphs....

Then why reply at all?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-02-2014, 02:56 PM
 
13,675 posts, read 13,481,602 times
Reputation: 39779
OMG, you're my age? Sweetie, GET OUT OF THERE. Go. Leave. FLEE.

You are under the thumb of a very manipulative person and your life is passing you by. I say this as someone who lived in my home town for the first 34 years of her life.

Accept that your mother is a bitter, controlling woman who wants what is best for HER and not what is best for her children. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, but you put it out there right in black and white. Neither you nor your brother owe her any explanations or apologies. Her "anxiety" is her own problem, and if she won't visit you, that just means less of her toxic presence.

I was one of the hubs of my family - I got along with everyone and I was the first person people called when they needed help with something. I moved almost 2,000 miles away to Denver three years ago and I have not regretted it for a moment. The sense of freedom is positively intoxicating.

Do this for yourself. And then get a therapist to help you understand why you put up with this kind of treatment from your mother for so long.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-02-2014, 02:56 PM
 
5,444 posts, read 4,810,167 times
Reputation: 15020
Having now read the paragraph, to me, it sounds like you NEED to get away from her and 600 miles away isn't far enough. You have your own life and you need to live your own life. If she can't see that, then that's too bad. My mom did the same thing when we moved to Colorado. It was the whole "you are really far away (she lives in GA), but when I lived in Florida, she still never visited. Mysteriously, she always complained that we never visited her. When she started whining about us moving out west, I put my big boy pants on and told her to get over it. We (just like you) want to live where we will be happy.

Take control of your life and live it the way you want to live it! I'm willing to bet that when you get settled in your new destination that you will be able to do away with your pills completely.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-02-2014, 04:48 PM
 
5,574 posts, read 5,807,066 times
Reputation: 16488
Quote:
Originally Posted by beherenow77 View Post
deleted
Weren't getting the answers you wanted, huh?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-02-2014, 05:25 PM
 
Location: Wonderland
44,279 posts, read 35,830,630 times
Reputation: 62636
Wow, too bad the OP deleted the OP.

Here's my answer then:

"Mom, I'm moving. Here's my new address. Love you - BYE!"
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 05:12 PM.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. | Please obey Forum Rules | Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top