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Old 05-08-2014, 10:51 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kevxu View Post
Our culture has become one of obsessive self-engrossment
The description applies to those who perceive others' behavior as personal affronts, when the affronts are in the perceivers' minds and don't objectively exist.
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Old 05-08-2014, 11:10 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by biscuitmom View Post
The description applies to those who perceive others' behavior as personal affronts, when the affronts are in the perceivers' minds and don't objectively exist.
I agree in some cases, but what would you make of, say, a social gathering where one person was glued to his phone texting others rather than talking within the group? Twenty/fifty/100 years ago he would have been doing something else distracting, to be sure, but he'd still be considered rude, no? perhaps it doesn't rise to the level of a personal affront as you say, but it's certainly indicative of a lack of.....something.

If a
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Old 05-08-2014, 12:04 PM
 
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Originally Posted by elhelmete View Post
I agree in some cases, but what would you make of, say, a social gathering where one person was glued to his phone texting others rather than talking within the group? Twenty/fifty/100 years ago he would have been doing something else distracting, to be sure, but he'd still be considered rude, no? perhaps it doesn't rise to the level of a personal affront as you say, but it's certainly indicative of a lack of.....something.
That is and has been a subject for other threads.

But since you ask, I'd wouldn't judge someone's behavior in a group, unless I was a member of the group. In which case I'd say something if I thought it might make a difference and if it mattered, and I'd ignore it I thought it wouldn't.
Certainly I wouldn't let it disturb my peace of mind, not for a moment. And I'd always remember that, without asking, I have no idea what the person is actually doing with the phone, and why.
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Old 05-08-2014, 12:47 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kevxu View Post
Our culture has become one of obsessive self-engrossment, which seems a necessary element of an economy so utterly dependent on personal consumerism. Consider the "selfie" takers an indication of economic health.
Essentially the American economy has been like that since the Industrial Revolution.
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Old 05-08-2014, 01:27 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by biscuitmom View Post
That is and has been a subject for other threads.

But since you ask, I'd wouldn't judge someone's behavior in a group, unless I was a member of the group. In which case I'd say something if I thought it might make a difference and if it mattered, and I'd ignore it I thought it wouldn't.
Certainly I wouldn't let it disturb my peace of mind, not for a moment. And I'd always remember that, without asking, I have no idea what the person is actually doing with the phone, and why.
Here's where we diverge a little.

IMO, at some point, an event has to be about the event, whether it's attending a concert, having a group dinner, meeting for coffee with a couple friends, or going for a hike with your spouse...whatever.

What I mean by this is when someone is not engaged in the event to a certain degree (and I fully admit that the line is blurry depending on the event) because he is doing something else with a lot of his time, he starts to stick out like a sore thumb. In such cases I don't think it odd if others notice and if they have not so nice feelings about it. At some point doing "other things" at a social gathering implies you're not interested in the purpose of the gathering and therefore...why are you (or why am I) here?

It doesn't matter to me what he might be doing with his phone...he could be reading a book instead, or knitting, but if it's in the middle of a dinner out and pretty much constant, it's at the very least weird, and probably more than that.

Again...not all events are created equal, do I really care if someone checks her phone a few times during a game? Of course not at all, but I think many of us here know the behavior we're really talking about.
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