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Old 05-06-2014, 03:32 PM
3,067 posts, read 2,497,472 times
Reputation: 3608


Originally Posted by zentropa View Post
Way to miss the point. He was pointing out a basic truth that applies here and elsewhere. Maybe you can learn from it. The next time you feel compelled to type a long post in which everyone is wrong but you, it might be time to check yourself.

I have done this myself, but thankfully I usually figure it out and delete it before I hit "Post."
Where did I say I wasn't wrong? I said at least three different times that I should not have dated a coworker and will not date one again. My only concern was about my reputation and about this tension I felt when she was around and how to address it. Since originally posting this thread I have continuously said I'm moving on from it and even asked mods to lock the thread. I realized this morning that I just needed to move on and chalk it up to a learning experience....
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Old 05-06-2014, 03:34 PM
3,067 posts, read 2,497,472 times
Reputation: 3608
Originally Posted by Ceece View Post
Ignoring the drama here, I have sensed that whenever a guy I've been involved with had made negative remarks about another women we both know, it often means he actually like her and is trying his best for me not to notice. . Men who don't care anything about a woman usually don't talk about her one way or another.
I don't really care why he was talking about her. I just realized once he did tell me those things there was a good chance he was telling her or others negative things about me too (most likely).
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Old 05-06-2014, 03:50 PM
Location: Mt. Lebanon
1,843 posts, read 1,934,844 times
Reputation: 1899
Originally Posted by Faith2187 View Post
Earlier this year I had briefly dated a coworker, I had wrote many threads about the situation , but we did not work out for a lot of reasons i would rather not get into. However during this time people did know we were dating because he had blabbed it to people and we would take lunch and break together. Toward the end of our dating period when we had started to just be friends I noticed a particular co-worker(female) giving me weird looks-one time was when she had saw me and him eating together. And another time when she saw me in the bathroom talking with a friend. I thought nothing of it.

Then the following day I saw her talking with him by his desk. Prior to that day, they had never talked. I figured she was talking with him about a client or they had become friends. From then on they were friends similar to the way me and him were. The only weird thing is that the few times I had lunch with him and she came over to talk with him, she would completely ignore my presence(not saying hi) or anything. I thought it was rude but let it go. I noticed that she was very flirty with him. And I told him that I thought she liked him. He said that she had a boyfriend so didn't think that could be true.

I figured he was right. Anyway he ended up moving up a different department and we talked but not often. In the meantime everytime I saw this girl she would look at me weird. I thought I was being paranoid. But my intuition was telling me that she did not like me or that she knew something about me that was causing her to look at me that type of weird way. Eventually I just ignored her. I figured that either reason probably had to do with her liking the male coworker.

Then I found out from him a few weeks ago that despite having a boyfriend she had sent him pictures of her butt and naked photos. I was surprised a bit because at the time that he said she did this, he was back dating an ex girlfriend that he had told her about. Nonetheless she obviously did not care.

since learning about this I feel awkward around her. First because I greatly have issue with women that pursue men that they know are in relationship and that are in relationships themselves, second because it seems like from the beginning even before her and this guy became friends she did not like me and was very rude to me when I was around him, and finally because this guy told me he in fact saved the pictures that she sent him and showed his friends. He didnt have sex with her or anything because he was turned off by her doing that in the first place(so I'm wondering if she's embarrassed and that's why she's been giving me weird looks). He also talked crap about her, basically she dresses provactive and he was saying that she violates the dress code and is constantly wearing revealing clothes to show off her azz. He also still has those pictures of her which makes me feel uncomfortable for her.

And so now I wonder if he has talked crap about her to me, then has he talked crap about me to her as well. So I'm wondering if that is why she gives me weird looks. I have never sent him naked pics or done anything with him at all. So I'm not worried about that but I'm wondering if he might have said something negative to her about me. I want to confront her and ask her about whether or not he has said things about me and sort of clear the air between us since it feels awkward when I see her. My question is should I just ignore her weird looks and leave it alone or try to talk to her?
Ignore. She doesnt deserve your wasting time over this matter. Concentrate on your work and let bygones be bygones. In the future please keep professional live and presonal life separate. You dont want a kitten fight in the workplace. You dont want to ruin your reputation because of some bimbo. What do you have to gain if you confront her? Nothing. You have only to loose.
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Old 05-06-2014, 05:15 PM
Location: California
30,513 posts, read 33,327,796 times
Reputation: 25987
Or you can kill her with kindness, if you want to be passive aggressive about it!
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Old 05-06-2014, 07:41 PM
Location: Seattle Area
1,716 posts, read 1,579,961 times
Reputation: 4125
Wow....You are a poster child for generalized statements about women over analyzing everything. Who cares what she did, didn't do, said, didn't say.
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Old 05-07-2014, 01:47 PM
Location: MD/DC/VA
47 posts, read 50,216 times
Reputation: 19
Originally Posted by War Beagle View Post
If it takes 6 paragraphs to explain a problem or issue, you are probably the main cause of the problem.
hahah. a lot of times this is true, so i've learned.
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