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Old 05-05-2014, 11:09 AM
 
3,063 posts, read 3,272,748 times
Reputation: 3641

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Earlier this year I had briefly dated a coworker, I had wrote many threads about the situation , but we did not work out for a lot of reasons i would rather not get into. However during this time people did know we were dating because he had blabbed it to people and we would take lunch and break together. Toward the end of our dating period when we had started to just be friends I noticed a particular co-worker(female) giving me weird looks-one time was when she had saw me and him eating together. And another time when she saw me in the bathroom talking with a friend. I thought nothing of it.

Then the following day I saw her talking with him by his desk. Prior to that day, they had never talked. I figured she was talking with him about a client or they had become friends. From then on they were friends similar to the way me and him were. The only weird thing is that the few times I had lunch with him and she came over to talk with him, she would completely ignore my presence(not saying hi) or anything. I thought it was rude but let it go. I noticed that she was very flirty with him. And I told him that I thought she liked him. He said that she had a boyfriend so didn't think that could be true.

I figured he was right. Anyway he ended up moving up a different department and we talked but not often. In the meantime everytime I saw this girl she would look at me weird. I thought I was being paranoid. But my intuition was telling me that she did not like me or that she knew something about me that was causing her to look at me that type of weird way. Eventually I just ignored her. I figured that either reason probably had to do with her liking the male coworker.

Then I found out from him a few weeks ago that despite having a boyfriend she had sent him pictures of her butt and naked photos. I was surprised a bit because at the time that he said she did this, he was back dating an ex girlfriend that he had told her about. Nonetheless she obviously did not care.

since learning about this I feel awkward around her. First because I greatly have issue with women that pursue men that they know are in relationship and that are in relationships themselves, second because it seems like from the beginning even before her and this guy became friends she did not like me and was very rude to me when I was around him, and finally because this guy told me he in fact saved the pictures that she sent him and showed his friends. He didnt have sex with her or anything because he was turned off by her doing that in the first place(so I'm wondering if she's embarrassed and that's why she's been giving me weird looks). He also talked crap about her, basically she dresses provactive and he was saying that she violates the dress code and is constantly wearing revealing clothes to show off her azz. He also still has those pictures of her which makes me feel uncomfortable for her.

And so now I wonder if he has talked crap about her to me, then has he talked crap about me to her as well. So I'm wondering if that is why she gives me weird looks. I have never sent him naked pics or done anything with him at all. So I'm not worried about that but I'm wondering if he might have said something negative to her about me. I want to confront her and ask her about whether or not he has said things about me and sort of clear the air between us since it feels awkward when I see her. My question is should I just ignore her weird looks and leave it alone or try to talk to her?
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Old 05-05-2014, 11:20 AM
 
Location: Central Virginia
6,562 posts, read 8,393,687 times
Reputation: 18799
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith2187 View Post
I just ignore her weird looks and leave it alone
This option.

Also, it's probably best if you keep your personal and work lives separate.
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Old 05-05-2014, 11:29 AM
 
Location: Southeast, where else?
3,913 posts, read 5,230,152 times
Reputation: 5824
God, I'm exhausted reading it....talk to Dave Chappelle....he has an answer for this.....Take it easy....Take it EAAASY......
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Old 05-05-2014, 11:38 AM
 
Location: Terra
2,826 posts, read 3,991,787 times
Reputation: 3374
Ignore her and stop worrying about what other people think.
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Old 05-05-2014, 11:49 AM
 
185 posts, read 242,007 times
Reputation: 542
How old are you guys? Something about anyone over 30 participating in drama like this always makes me very sad.
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Old 05-05-2014, 11:59 AM
 
5,570 posts, read 7,273,813 times
Reputation: 16562
Quote:
Originally Posted by HokieFan View Post
This option.

Also, it's probably best if you keep your personal and work lives separate.
This. A thousand times this.

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Old 05-05-2014, 12:08 PM
 
26,660 posts, read 13,746,362 times
Reputation: 19118
Do not confront her. Ignore her. When I was in college there was a group of girls who would look at me funny whenever I saw them out. I didn't know them but it was obvious they were talking about me and did not like me. It turns out that one of my male friends had just started causally dating one of them and for whatever reason they saw me as a threat. It was comical because it was so ridiculous. I am guessing that she see's you as competition, even though you aren't interested in this guy anymore and her weird looks are due to her jealously and insecurity. These are her issues, not yours. Steer clear of this woman.
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Old 05-05-2014, 12:19 PM
 
16,579 posts, read 20,709,696 times
Reputation: 26860
Leave it alone.
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Old 05-05-2014, 12:24 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,879 posts, read 77,498,031 times
Reputation: 22752
You have no control over what others say about you behind your back.

If you think that is what has gone on, seems to me the person you have a problem with is your friend, who may possibly be saying things about you.

In any case, if there is no issue between you and the girl -- don't create one by getting into some weird creepy discussion, questioning her about what your friend might have said to her about you.

Just leave it alone and quit over-analyzing things.
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Old 05-05-2014, 12:29 PM
 
35,094 posts, read 51,243,097 times
Reputation: 62669
In the future keep romance out of the office (as has been said many many times before)
Quit being paranoid about how someone "looks at you", just because you think you are getting odd looks doesn't mean you are.
Quit worrying about the thoughts of others that you can neither control nor change.

Quit taking your personal life into your business life then you will not have these types of issues. (as stated above and many other times before in numerous threads).
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