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I thought starting this thread would perhaps wake some people up, attitudes like this, scare people away, but then I guess it doesn't matter...no wonder the men in this forum are down on most of the women here....ya'll are so frigin angry...and it shows in your words...
Then don't read it, why in the world would you go into a thread and write something negative?
and by the way, this represents the younger generation, I've gotten very few nice comments, only angry disgrunteled comments, which proves my point....there are a whole lot of angry people out there who really get off on being purposely rude to others because, and excuse me, they are writing with bad grammer or cannot spell or do not use paragraphs.....rude, simply rude....and I know a whole lot of young people who are not like this....actually, I've shown this thread to a few of my younger friends and all they can do is shake their heads in amazement at the disdain for people, one of them even said, "hell, can you believe the amount of women who came into this thread with fists raised, defending why they act so rudely to others?"
Your actions represent others, the way you think, the way you react....and by how nasty you can be...oh, and one of my friends said, God forbid they have children, they will grow up with the same aloof attitude towards others...?
I care not if you agree, don't agree, what I care about are the newer members who are young who want to participate and you bully them out...
and for every person that is rude, yes, there are probably dozens of people who do feel the same way, however, when push comes to shove, they are much gentler with their words....
and I apologize to those who do not bash others in threads....and to the younger generation, it is just so frustrating when you see people counteract a newer posters feelings with rudeness and disdain....as I said before, some of the women in here are vile and dilberately rude to arouse attention and to literally devalue a person's feelings....
I thought starting this thread would perhaps wake some people up, attitudes like this, scare people away, but then I guess it doesn't matter...no wonder the men in this forum are down on most of the women here....ya'll are so frigin angry...and it shows in your words...
So what...does being confrontational mean that much to you, or is it being right?
Grammer police, sheesh....
I don't know why I'm even bothering but...
People read threads on CD because...that's why CD is here. I get your theoretical point about not responding, but don't read a thread? Why not if it's of interest to you?
Let's put aside whether your thread you're referring to was poorly written or full of grammar errors or whatever, I agree that these points can be needlessly over criticized.
What you don't seem to get is that what you perceive as deliberately negative, rude, bullying comments simply may not be so, just because you think they are. People disagreeing with you, even vociferously, is not necessarily 'bashing.'
IMHO, you wrote a massive treatise of interpersonal drama among a handful of women "friends" where my response (and a few others) was really to convey that it (the situation, not your writing) seemed like a bunch of overwhelming, petty drama and, yes, exhausting. Not you, but the situation you painstakingly detailed in he-said, she-said fashion and asked for input on.
"Exhausting" was an direct, legitimate response, not bullying, not a hater. If you think the group dynamics you detailed in your post were minor and/or somehow high-brow, you nevertheless provided several paragraphs suggesting strongly that they are not. A handful of people commented as such. Not comforting to you perhaps, but maybe they should be looked at again if you really want a more objective view of your group of friends and the problems you're all having. Instead I get the impression you wanted to just vent and hear people 99% empathetic to your point of view.
To help with your point, I won't make any negative comments...or be mean or rude or angry.
BUT...dang, OP...you've insulted women, young people and those who have mastered the English language. I don't go into a thread to correct someone on grammar or punctuation, but the point about it being easier to read and more identifiable of the issue at hand IS important.
If it's not YOUR strong suit, why are YOU being so hateful to those who do make the effort?
I think your main point is that people are mean and rude...you called Zentropa cruel, in fact. Tell me why you're so concerned about this...you've made a heck of a lot of assumptions here and I believe your main point has now been obliterated with your own anger.
I particularly don't like that you're now bashing women posters...sheesh...we're all going to run into comments that get under our skin...that seems normal. But to get down on the whole gender...is that really what you intended? I do think people get frustrated...many times because someone isn't following "their" logic...so it doesn't make sense...but why get so bent?
I think your friends were off base about some of their comments...rude and mean spirited, in fact. Perhaps you should consider yourself part of the group you're complaining about...I just don't know. I agreed with you at first, but I believe you've dug a hole...
I wouldn't make it a generational issue, just a thing that bugs some people issue. I can be long-winded when I feel like it, but lack of readability can completely turn me off to even something I've written let alone what someone else wrote and it has little to do with being too lazy to read.
I don't think I need to be a d-ck about it, though. If it's just too much for my eyes and mind to take at that moment, I move on and don't respond at all or I skim, say I skimmed so people know I might have missed something, and get on with my response.
As for the rest of the jerkish commentary, OP... simmer down.
Quote:
Originally Posted by animalcrazy
What you perceive as rude others may perceive as normal conversation not intended to be anything else but an opinion. Good communication skills can get lost in type written words. It kind of loses the human touch without the body language that goes along with it. A snarky comment with a smile comes across as a joke. A snarky comment with a frown and a stern voice comes across as something totally different. How do you convey that in print? I can't take forums too seriously because sometimes you just don't know what the intent really was.
The common word between the two being "snarky". Snark has become one of many forms of rudeness you're supposed to let slide if the person "doesn't mean anything by it" or was "just joking".
Some choose not to bother making that distinction because the comment was unnecessary, negative, and in many cases, insulting either way and therefore rude either way. In that case, it doesn't matter what the person intended.
I think this could easily be one of those cases - someone coming into a forum to pour their heart out over an issue that has them so worked up that they're barreling words out in large, unintelligible blocks desperate for someone to listen to them...
... and someone being insensitive to that potential fragile state by saying something mocking or dismissive like, "Ugh, I'm not even gonna read all that..." or "Ugh, my head hurts just looking at this...".
Not saying I've never commented on how something was formatted in that way. I don't think I have, but in case I have, I definitely wouldn't claim it wasn't rude. I'd just accept my rudeness with a tip of my hat because I'm fine with it lol
ShellNic To help with your point, I won't make any negative comments...or be mean or rude or angry.
Thank you.
Quote:
BUT...dang, OP...you've insulted women, young people and those who have mastered the English language. I don't go into a thread to correct someone on grammar or punctuation, but the point about it being easier to read and more identifiable of the issue at hand IS important.
well, I don't see those who have been insulted in here complaining about it, what I see are women in here being even more mean by defending their behavior....and btw, I'm glad you don't point out people's mistakes, that is so lame.
Quote:
If it's not YOUR strong suit, why are YOU being so hateful to those who do make the effort
I'm not being hateful, what I'm trying to do it point it out, so that maybe people won't be so cruel.
Quote:
I think your main point is that people are mean and rude...you called Zentropa cruel, in fact. Tell me why you're so concerned about this...you've made a heck of a lot of assumptions here and I believe your main point has now been obliterated with your own anger.
actually, I'm not angry and if you go check out a lot of my posts, you'll see the same group of grown women with children go into posts by others and not only pic on me, but many other posters....
and that is what prompted this thread...I saw it today...and I'm sorry but I feel badly for those who are newer to this forum and these people bully them.
There is a nice way to say things and a mean and nasty way to say things....
I particularly don't like that you're now bashing women posters...sheesh...we're all going to run into comments that get under our skin...that seems normal. But to get down on the whole gender...is that really what you intended? I do think people get frustrated...many times because someone isn't following "their" logic...so it doesn't make sense...but why get so bent?
Quote:
I think your friends were off base about some of their comments...rude and mean spirited, in fact. Perhaps you should consider yourself part of the group you're complaining about...I just don't know. I agreed with you at first, but I believe you've dug a hole...
well, all I can say is, I'm sorry you feel that way.
Most of the people who feel this way have given me reps, but are way to afraid to come in and comment, and I don't blame them, but I'm older and care not who likes me and who doesn't....nor do I care how much they pic on me, but the others I care about b/c everyone is special and everyone has something to offer...regardless of their grammer, punctuation etc....if you don't like how some one writes, that's fine, but you don't have to go into their thread and make a blatant arse out of them, that my friend is mean spirited.
and I'm coming back to say, years ago, when I first started in this forum, it was a very nice experience, people were kinder, and we made a lot of friends in here...a lot of people I knew then have left due to the bullying....nasty comments....I think people today fear being kind, they might think it's a sign of weakness, I don't know, but it sure is a different world. And to be honest, it is very sad to see....so many people who are sisters and brothers turn on one another...you ask how I can say these things, stick around for a while, follow me and see....same gals, same ugly comments not just to me, but to many others....sad...b/c I believe they are great women, each special in their own way...but way to blind to believe it? But put on a heck of a show trying to convince everyone they are tough, they are the best and everyone else is just beneath them.
Last edited by cremebrulee; 05-06-2014 at 01:13 PM..
Then don't read it, why in the world would you go into a thread and write something negative?
and by the way, this represents the younger generation, I've gotten very few nice comments, only angry disgrunteled comments, which proves my point....there are a whole lot of angry people out there who really get off on being purposely rude to others because, and excuse me, they are writing with bad grammer or cannot spell or do not use paragraphs.....rude, simply rude....and I know a whole lot of young people who are not like this....actually, I've shown this thread to a few of my younger friends and all they can do is shake their heads in amazement at the disdain for people, one of them even said, "hell, can you believe the amount of women who came into this thread with fists raised, defending why they act so rudely to others?"
Your actions represent others, the way you think, the way you react....and by how nasty you can be...oh, and one of my friends said, God forbid they have children, they will grow up with the same aloof attitude towards others...?
I care not if you agree, don't agree, what I care about are the newer members who are young who want to participate and you bully them out...
and for every person that is rude, yes, there are probably dozens of people who do feel the same way, however, when push comes to shove, they are much gentler with their words....
and I apologize to those who do not bash others in threads....and to the younger generation, it is just so frustrating when you see people counteract a newer posters feelings with rudeness and disdain....as I said before, some of the women in here are vile and dilberately rude to arouse attention and to literally devalue a person's feelings....
I thought starting this thread would perhaps wake some people up, attitudes like this, scare people away, but then I guess it doesn't matter...no wonder the men in this forum are down on most of the women here....ya'll are so frigin angry...and it shows in your words...
So what...does being confrontational mean that much to you, or is it being right?
Grammer police, sheesh....
Sheesh again with you attacking entire groups. Don't blame all women and all young people for the issues you have with others. It's bigoted and mean spirited and people don't deserve it.
OP, I realize that you think you're not doing anything hateful...but seriously, that's NOT how it's coming across. You have insulted several groups and make blanket statements.
Things HAVE changed over the years, but I don't think the way people post is really all that different. I know some of the posters you refer to...they seem like smart, to the point posters...sometimes, comments can "seem" hurtful, or curt, or rude. But just as you don't think you're being rude, maybe those other posters think the same thing. You can't possibly know everyone's intent and demeanor based on a few words...oh sure, there are the blatant posts...but still, you're making a very large leap.
I do want to comment about your particular sentence of "grown women with children" who pick on others...maybe someone can help me here as I'm not sure how to spell out my irritation with this comment. There are people in this world who do seek out to irritate others...gives them some sort of pleasure. I personally know a few of these types. I will give you that some of these folks may post here...but again, you make big assumptions and think they're picking on people when, in fact, they're just stating an opinion.
I get the feeling that if you hear ANY feedback that doesn't agree with your opinion, you take that negatively. And you might be older...but seriously, what does that have to do with ANYTHING? Some older people NEVER get a clue...that's really not a "badge of honor" or anything...respect is earned. And btw, having good grammar and being able to express yourself with the written word as well as speaking, is a positive thing...to blatantly not want to and tell everyone else to get over it shows immaturity...something you'd think an older person would understand.
I don't know, OP...I agreed with your "don't be rude" comments, but then you negated all of that with your generalities and faulty statements. Sorry.
I agree with the posters (several of them) who said that when a poster isn't making herself clear, because of long rambling text with no paragraphs or punctuation, or because of lots of disorganization in the way the posted, or because of lots of extraneous info, or because of grammar problems, I believe that it's "necessary" to point those things out.
No it's not "necessary" in the sense that I'm compelled to do it, or that I see myself as some kind of communication-skills-superhero. But "necessary" in that I'm seeing a person trying to communicate with fellow human beings, and I'm seeing a big obstacle that's getting in the way that they might not see, and I want to point that obstacle out. If it helps it helps. If not, at least I tried.
Some here think that this is mean or cruel or hate-based or snarky. But for the most part it's not. Most of us who do this are truly trying to be helpful. "Hey, if you broke your post up into paragraphs, people might have an easier time understanding you." or "Hey, you added in all that stuff about XYZ, and all it did was make your post unnecessarily long. If you take that stuff out, you'll likely get more responses." I give that kind of advice all the time.
Some don't like it. Some call me mean. But I believe that the person invites this kind of response simply by posting, especially by posting in a way that's interfering with their message, and with their likelihood of getting relevant responses. I might say things in a snarky way, but I'm not attacking the person, just their delivery.
I say this all the time: You might have the most profound message in the world, but if it's in a crappy box, no one's gonna care.
Some grammar stuff I can overlook, but when it really interferes with the poster's communication, I point it out. I want them to know that their message is getting lost in or covered by a bunch of nonsense. Hopefully they'll learn from it.
I care not if you agree, don't agree, what I care about are the newer members who are young who want to participate and you bully them out..
Since you directed this comment at me, I suggest you my re-read my post. I said "For every person who is rude there are probably dozens of people who feel the same way but are too polite to say anything. I'm one of them."
How am I bullying newer members when I don't comment at all about my irritation and politely stay silent.
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