U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
View Poll Results: How Do You Feel About Drop-In Visitors?
I'm under 40 and prefer to be called the day before. 51 15.94%
I'm under 40 and prefer at least an hour's notice. 50 15.63%
I'm under 40...drop on by anytime. 12 3.75%
I'm over 40 and prefer to be called the day before. 109 34.06%
I'm over 40 and prefer at least an hour's notice. 62 19.38%
I'm over 40...drop on by anytime. 36 11.25%
Voters: 320. You may not vote on this poll

Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 05-16-2014, 09:11 AM
 
1,167 posts, read 1,103,032 times
Reputation: 2144

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by MissSoBelle View Post

shyguylh, I respect your opinion, but I guess I'm a prick in your opinion. I'm thinking of one example...one lady in particular who likes to go out walking. We live in a small town. This woman is totally literally obsessed with looking beautiful. Her hair, makeup, figure, and clothing are always immaculate...and she likes to walk all over town for exercise...but also to show off. I happen to know through her mother that she is anorexic. She would never go out without looking perfect. She loves to drop in on people during her walks. Then she gossips about how she went to X's house and what a mess it was and how she looked like she needed a good haircut or to lose weight. She can ring my doorbell all she wants, but she is not getting into my house without an invitation. (Period.)
I think case by case examples like that are perfectly normal. I would probably do the same thing as you, too. I have a group of friends and neighbors who can ring my doorbell anytime, though. They don't care about the state of myself, or my home, and won't go gossiping about it!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 05-16-2014, 10:32 AM
 
26,364 posts, read 24,528,919 times
Reputation: 16031
Quote:
Miss Southern

shyguylh, I respect your opinion, but I guess I'm a prick in your opinion. I'm thinking of one example...one lady in particular who likes to go out walking. We live in a small town. This woman is totally literally obsessed with looking beautiful. Her hair, makeup, figure, and clothing are always immaculate...and she likes to walk all over town for exercise...but also to show off. I happen to know through her mother that she is anorexic. She would never go out without looking perfect. She loves to drop in on people during her walks. Then she gossips about how she went to X's house and what a mess it was and how she looked like she needed a good haircut or to lose weight. I've tried inviting her to have lunch, but she doesn't "do" food. She won't even accept a cup of coffee or tea, because it will stain her beautifully whitened teeth! She is just there to spread the gossip. She can ring my doorbell all she wants, but she is not getting into my house without an invitation. (Period.)
We had a neighbor like that, some liked her some didn't and when she'd come by, she'd sit and sit and sit and gossip.

I have another neighbor who is somewhat like that....and actually had to tell her, shorter visits would be more welcomed.
(the older you get, the less you care about being liked cuz you've taken pretty much all you can stand. I was one of those people who felt she had to please everyone...HAH) No more....lol
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-16-2014, 10:41 AM
 
3,279 posts, read 4,084,254 times
Reputation: 6149
Quote:
Originally Posted by ozgal View Post
I think case by case examples like that are perfectly normal. I would probably do the same thing as you, too. I have a group of friends and neighbors who can ring my doorbell anytime, though. They don't care about the state of myself, or my home, and won't go gossiping about it!
You know what? I agree.

Notice I have said, or I think I said anyway, that I was talking about FRIENDS dropping by. I didn't say all people necessarily, but FRIENDS. Someone like that person being described? I'd have no problem with the home-owner saying "I love all people, but I don't participate in gossip, if you ever have anything other than gossip to offer to our conversations, I'd love to have you over THEN and ONLY then."
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-16-2014, 10:50 AM
 
4,424 posts, read 5,458,603 times
Reputation: 6505
We dont particularly care how messy a person's place is or how bad their hair looks. We're their friend; we're not supposed to care about that stuff. Thats one reason why we dont require calls and dont give them; we feel that friends dont really care about how bad your house or hair is. In fact we'll actually tell you that and MEAN IT. Unless your house reeks of cat urine or your hair is moving on its own due to creepy crawlies living in it we're not going to let it end our friendship. Theres more important things besides one's own self conscience.

Im sorry if people are being called names. I didnt see any name calling specifically but how i define name calling is a whole other conversation.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-16-2014, 10:52 AM
bg7
 
7,697 posts, read 8,175,411 times
Reputation: 15093
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissSoBelle View Post
How do you feel about drop-in visitors...and what is your age group also so that we can see if there is a difference in opinion from age group to age group?

Personally, I don't like drop-in visitors. I think it is common courtesy to call first to see if it is convenient for someone to come by. I guess that is just the way I was raised. How about you?
I was raised to be sociable, warm and welcoming!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-16-2014, 11:01 AM
 
26,364 posts, read 24,528,919 times
Reputation: 16031
Quote:
Originally Posted by bg7 View Post
I was raised to be sociable, warm and welcoming!
well, so were most of us, however, we all don't enjoy the same thing or agree, that doesn't make anyone wrong or right....
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-16-2014, 11:08 AM
 
4,424 posts, read 5,458,603 times
Reputation: 6505
Quote:
Originally Posted by cremebrulee View Post
well, so were most of us, however, we all don't enjoy the same thing or agree, that doesn't make anyone wrong or right....
No, it doesnt. The topic is to ask opinions not determine the ultimate right or wrong.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-16-2014, 11:18 AM
 
Location: Richardson, TX
11,092 posts, read 17,564,975 times
Reputation: 27978
Unless you've been told to "drop by anytime," I consider it very rude to show up at somebody's house unannounced.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-16-2014, 11:20 AM
 
4,424 posts, read 5,458,603 times
Reputation: 6505
Quote:
Originally Posted by Debsi View Post
Unless you've been told to "drop by anytime," I consider it very rude to show up at somebody's house unannounced.
But until you do that how will you know if a call is required or not? I mean sometimes you have to touch the stove to find out if its hot or not.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-16-2014, 11:35 AM
 
Location: Glasgow Scotland
15,265 posts, read 12,589,734 times
Reputation: 22101
It stands to reason though.. its like people who make phone calls to me when its on THEIR time not mine... I had a friend or who didnt eat dinner with her hubby till nine at night whereas I had mine at 5 30 when my hubby came home from work.. she knew this but would still phone back on 5 oclock when she knew Id be busy... even when Id say...OH here he comes in the door from work.. she would ask to be put on to talk to him too.. when he was tired and couldnt be bothered.... then shes talk for over an hour then say she d phone back later.. if I left the phone off the hook she would go mad saying I was talking for ages to someone else when all the time I just wanted peace... I hated to hurt her feelings but it had to be done , I tried saying for her to call during the day when I was in on my own , but it didnt suit her as she took the dogs along the beach each day or was at her hairdresser or manicurist...only night times suited.. but didnt suit me... it got to a point where my nerves were frazzled every time I heard the phone ring and it all came to a head one night when she was on the phone to me for almost two hours.. and I missed a call from my son whos daugher my grandaughter was rushed into hospital.... thats when I thought. This woman is taking over my life, and my family are becoming second.... and it had to stop .. and did...
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top