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the term "formal"-- often implies, unnecessary behavior and dress.
but this would inevitably also includes manners. we reject many things, some of which we should have kept.
this great crash and burn happened in 1963 --the gateway to the great drug experience of america which changed our behavior and dress forever.
Interesting...I suppose I hadn't thought of drugs having that sort of influence over dress but geez, that completely makes a lot of sense. I was born in the late 60's so I didn't have the opportunity to really see that change. My mom always dressed up for every occasion...I sort of rebelled on that front. But I like the other ideas to be sure!
I don't recall anything in her post romanticizing a particular era, nor is there ANY mention of celebrating racism, paranoia, nuclear war, polio or discrimination.
If you really read the post, I think you'll find that she missed the traditions of RESPECT for one another by addressing people more formally, or perhaps dressing for certain occasions, or perhaps sleeping (not anything else) but sleeping in separate rooms as a way of getting GOOD SLEEP.
Am I seriously the only one who sees the underlying message? I didn't read anything extra into TracySam's post...she has a way of being very clear all on her own and if she had meant any of those other things, I'm quite sure she would have said that.
Anyway, manners, respect, dressing properly, giving weight to proper grammar and speech are all important...and the society we live in now seems to have forgotten a lot of that. It IS laziness and many folks think it's very unimportant. I, for one, do not.
No, I agree. Feeling a bit of nostalgia over a time when people would wear a hat and tie to a baseball game or call someone "sir" instead of "Dave" doesn't mean that you think sexism, racism, and casual child abuse are a good thing.
My parents were in their 40s when I was born, and as such were a lot more "old school" than the parents of my friends, some of whom were laid-back hippie types. I grew up with a dad who wouldn't/won't wear jeans in public because he considers them work pants. Good manners were gospel, and there was no eating a meal with the TV on, ignoring guests to answer the phone, etc.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eazine
Sorry, no. I think the majority of social interactions should be less formal. I find the suits and dresses to be comical like kids playing dress up (I have to do this for work) and I think a lot of these formalities keep people from making real connections.
Good point. As a personal banker I could care less if someone comes into my job and asks for a loan is in a suit or wife beater and shorts. I even PREFER they address me by my first name and not Mr. Just sounds unsavory to me.
I like the protocol of formal manners, because everything is defined and orderly, which appeals to me. And I admit to (at times) wishing for the days when women wore gloves, because they kept our hands clean. But I'm not about to wear the hat, heels and peplum suit to go with them, as attractive as they may be, and wearing gloves with my regular clothes would look crazy.
Good point. As a personal banker I could care less if someone comes into my job and asks for a loan is in a suit or wife beater and shorts. I even PREFER they address me by my first name and not Mr. Just sounds unsavory to me.
And as my personal banker, I'd like to see you in dress clothes and not blue jeans and a sweatshirt.
the term "formal"-- often implies, unnecessary behavior and dress.
but this would inevitably also includes manners. we reject many things, some of which we should have kept.
this great crash and burn happened in 1963 --the gateway to the great drug experience of america which changed our behavior and dress forever.
Everything has its place and time. OP sounds like she is a bit under the spell of the book she read.
Will I consider separate bedrooms? ... no.
Will I hug or be hugged? if it looks good and feels good - why not?
Will I be addressed as Mrs. XYZ> ... no.
Do we dress for dinner? no shirt - no food.
Do we speak English - only if company does.
Do we use drugs - Aspirin.
with my daugher and son-in-law not too long ago. It started with my saying people shouldn't say "No problem" when they should say "You're welcome." They said no problem just seemed more casual and I said that's the problem with people today, including dress, manners, addressing people older than yourself, speech, writing, etc. I'm sure they were rolling their eyes inwardly.
I remember when men wore hats and one older gentleman tipped his hat to my mother when we met on the street. Women all wore dresses and stockings when out of the home. I even remember my grandmother when speaking to other people referred to my grandfather as "Mr. Story"; of course, she called him Jack when she was at home or with family.
I agree with you in a very limited manner on some of the things. While I don't wish everyone dressed up, I do wish that people didn't wear pj's and exercise clothes in public and that clothes weren't so tight that every bulge and roll of fat is visible. I just got back from eating at a restaurant where our waitress was a very small woman, but her pants were so tight that she had a muffin top and her shirt was so tight that I could see her muffin top as well as the indention of her belly button. I wish that sort of thing would go away.
As for the rest of it, I don't really think that people display worse manners than they used to and doubt if in real life, as opposed to depictions of life from TV and movies, people were really any better or worse in the past than they are today. I hear plenty of "please and thank-you" and see kindness and consideration in everyday life. Nor do I see over-the-top public displays of affection when I'm out and about.
I agree about the grammar, spelling and punctuation, but I do think that most people can crank out at least a decent, readable sentence when they have to, while in the past, women, people of color and poor people were not even allowed to go to school. I'd be happier if everyone could speak the Queen's English, but am glad that everyone has a chance at some kind of education.
Looking at all of it together, if I have to choose, I'll take the freedom and opportunity we have today over the formalities and manners of yesterday.
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Actually, had this discussion
