Do you ever try to help the person? (conversation, feel)

[OzzyRules]

I wonder sometimes if we (if I) should try to help the person that is causing conflict.

When I was younger I had trouble dealing with different types of people. But I think I've been learning more as I've grown older. For instance, I try to NEVER use negativity with a person I might have a conflict with. In other words, I don't believe in attacking them personally. I know that this might go against the norm.

A few months ago I was dealing with some difficult coworkers. Some people just did not want to leave me alone, and it was interfering with my work. I knew that they had looked at my social media based on things they said to me. So I used that as a tool to try to help. I considered it "constructive criticism" but I didn't have to be open in who I was directing it towards. The good thing is, I didn't address any of the people specifically but I know that they got the message. Not necessarily knowing that I had directed any comments towards them.

The only time I really do say negative things is in political matters. But I am not directing the comments to anyone in particular. Most people that I know are not that extreme anyway. So I feel like I am attacking a philosophical point rather than any actual people. And I think that most people in general are probably moderate, and so I hope that my comments will at least make people think. And I actually enjoy hearing alternate viewpoints because I don't know who is really correct. It is so highly debated, that, while I think my viewpoint might be correct, I still don't know because I really am just basing it on feelings.

What do you think about this approach? I don't know that this is right or wrong, but I am interested in hearing your thoughts.

[OzzyRules]

I have also had to deal with a supervisor who would not just let me do my work. That was more difficult.

[silibran]

I am not sure how you used social media to solve your problem, but I would recommend you keep your accounts private for social friends only. Unless you are unusually close with a coworker, I would not want them looking at my personal life.

I do agree that it is always best to use positive reinforcement or positive interactions to deal with anyone in any situation. So, kudos for that.

Otherwise your post is a bit too vague to give a more specific response to.

[Humble and Kind]

What I've found is that some employees need to vent, some want your opinion, and some just want to hear themselves talk.

The ones that come to you to vent and ask your opinion, give them your full attention. It's important to them.

The ones that want to kill time and just talk BS while your working, just keep working and tell them you are busy at the moment. Ask them to talk to you another time, after work or something.

As far as politics, keep that to yourself. Politics, religion, and now food are/can be hot topics.

Save those conversations for your close friends/loved ones. or, on a forum like this.

[MinivanDriver]

1) Don't put anything on social media that you don't want an employer or colleague to see. Better yet, don't friend them if you really are posting controversial stuff.

2) Simply say, "Hey, I'm busy with something. Is this something that can wait until lunch?" And to your supervisor, "Joe. If you want me to get this thing done on time, I need to work on it."

3) If I've learned anything, people who claim that drama happens to them all the time refuse to acknowledge that they are typically the chief instigators of it. I mean, one would have to be an absolute fool to bring up politics in an office environment.

Why? Because discussing politics in that environment is a no-win situation. You're not going to convince anyone who believes differently than you. So that means that all you're doing is pontificating to people who aren't interested in your opinion. Second, if you are bloviating enough that people are stopping work to argue with you, it really affects your standing with fellow workers.