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A friend asked me and my girlfriend to witness his courthouse arrangement today and I was impressed with the efficiency. In my state apparently two witnesses are required. There was no pageantry at all. In fact we all wore street clothes and hoodies. My friend and his now wife brought their license to the court with a check to the Justice of the Peace. The JP asked did he want a fluffed wedding of any sort. They said no but they had to do a ceremony but they didn't even repeat vows. The JP just assumed that they were utilizing their free will and just signed the license as he said "My signature is all that matters. It's not like they know if vows or other nonsense has taken place". I did have to sign paperwork as a witness and so did my partner. It took no more than 4 minutes. So yeah, my friend got married without a wedding which according to the JP was only possible with the vows actually gone over but they didn't. In the eyes of the government they had a wedding but in reality they did not.
Has anyone ever witnessed this before? It was surreal how spartan it was. The fact that they let them dress any kind of way. I mean my friend and I had holes in our jeans (we were wearing garage clothing). The JP was very cool about everything. He even said that "I'm old and there is no need for me to be so draconian over the obvious. Well, you're married now. Any questions?" That threw me off guard.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Yeah, my mother got married to her last husband like that. He turned out to be a tool and the marriage didn't last long but I loved how little investment that wedding took. No use in putting out thousands of dollars when you ain't sure the marriage is gonna last these days.
What state was this in? The reason I ask is that it varies from state to state.
Our daughter and son-in-law got married by a justice of the peace. A group of us was there for the wedding. No one had to sign as witnesses. No one cared how anyone was dressed. It was all rather assembly line. Right before them a man in his army uniform and his fiancee had a wedding.
I think all that is required for a legal marriage is the consent of two adults in question, a license, and the signatures as specified by local laws. Vows are not necessary. Fancy clothes are optional.
Modern church weddings may be pretty and expensive but even they boil down to license, consent and officiant.
I respect a couple that is confident in their decision to be married the way THEY want to be married. Maybe they had their own little celebration before or after, maybe they didn't. Maybe they exchanged vows in private, maybe they didn't.
I personally wish more people I knew would have small weddings/courthouse marriages like this.
Weddings are a lot of pleasing everyone else. Do something for the two of you.
You can get married naked if you want so jeans and a hoodie aren't shocking. I worked with a woman who went to lunch and came back married, they did the courthouse thing and I have no idea if they "said vows" or not, nor does it matter. It's paperwork that makes you legally married, it's pageantry that makes a wedding.
When you think about the costs of weddings, and the outcome of most marriages, I'd say your friend was smart.
When we went downtown to get our marriage license, they asked if we wanted to get married right then. There was a cubicle with some fake flowers pinned to the wall. I'm pretty sure there would have been vows of some kind, but I don't know.
I'm not really surprised. As far as the state is concerned, it is a legal agreement, nothing more.
I respect a couple that is confident in their decision to be married the way THEY want to be married. Maybe they had their own little celebration before or after, maybe they didn't. Maybe they exchanged vows in private, maybe they didn't.
I personally wish more people I knew would have small weddings/courthouse marriages like this.
Weddings are a lot of pleasing everyone else. Do something for the two of you.
I can tell you whether they had or will have a private celebration. No they didn't and they refused. Same for the vows in fact I asked him what would he do next. He went home to go drink and continue fixing his fence.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat
Why would anyone make them dress a certain way?
When we went downtown to get our marriage license, they asked if we wanted to get married right then. There was a cubicle with some fake flowers pinned to the wall. I'm pretty sure there would have been vows of some kind, but I don't know.
I'm not really surprised. As far as the state is concerned, it is a legal agreement, nothing more.
In court, that type of dress doesn't fly so I was expecting to not be allowed wearing dirty clothing with holes in it. Mind you, my friend called me at the last minute to be a witness and I was working on my car when the call came. They didn't think anything of it.
I know what marriage is but the fact that the court handled it with such leniency was surprising. I don't expect any sort of competence to come out of a judicial institution.
That is pretty interesting I wish my uncle and his new soon to be wife had that mindset but know everyone all white while walking around in grass but I digress. If I do get married I like that form it really speaks to me straight to the point no need for ceremony.
My work friends got married over lunch at city hall in SF. They just came back to work after the marriage. Then a week or so later they threw a party at a bar.
My sister got married at city hall in Mexico, but in Mexico only civil marriages are legally valid, so everyone has to get married at the courthouse. They can have a religious wedding later if they want, but it isn't legally binding.
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