Mother In Law from H-E (double hockey sticks)

[SouthernBelleInUtah]

Originally Posted by Mattie

You don't have a MIL problem. You have a spousal problem. Come to terms with him, and let him set boundaries with his mother.

Yep. Hit the nail on the head.

[Hedgehog_Mom]

My mom is like that, she completely takes advantage and I used to just make my husband put up with it. I didn't know that normal parents of adult children don't ask their children to do so many things for them. A mom like that will brainwash you about what's normal. It took years and a huge episode of family drama for me to realize that my mom will demand every last little bit of me if it means she gets what she wants.

Since you want your husband to realize his mom is taking advantage of him and manipulating him without a huge episode of family drama, maybe you could suggest to him that the two of you go to couples counseling...not because you need counseling or because your marriage needs help, but because your husband might benefit from some counseling to help him deal with his relationship with his mother and set boundaries. I'm guessing if he's a typical guy, he probably wouldn't go to counseling by himself for anything in the world, that's why I'm thinking couples counseling might be the way to go.

[biscuitmom]

This, get to counseling, stat!

I disagree with the below in that there obviously are problems in the marriage that need addressing, i.e., you and your husband are not on the same page re his mother's behavior. That's what needs fixing. Any competent marriage counselor will address this issue. It's not about what you want your husband to do or not do, and in the long run it's not about your mother-in-law, it's about you and husband finding and strengthening the common ground that brought and holds you together. You need professional help to do that, don't delay.

Originally Posted by Hedgehog_Mom

Since you want your husband to realize his mom is taking advantage of him and manipulating him without a huge episode of family drama, maybe you could suggest to him that the two of you go to couples counseling...not because you need counseling or because your marriage needs help, but because your husband might benefit from some counseling to help him deal with his relationship with his mother and set boundaries. .