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Thanks for the advice everyone. The situation is kinda complicated. Ive been friends with this girl and her family for roughly 15 years by now. Italked with my GF some more about it and Im thinking about moving in. My friend always needs people around. she doesnt mind having little privacy. i know it sounds weird but shes always been like that. Honestly I think my friend is jealous and a bit selfish toward my GF and I. Every time someone "ditches" her, she takes it out on my GF and it creates a lot of stress on our relationship.
My GF and I have only talked about moving in together and havent looked around or anything. So thats on hold for now.
My friend wont have a problem finding someone to take my GFs spot since Ive already talked about this to her brother who is my good friend. He said he would take the spot because I told him I about the situation and I wouldnt want my friend to be stranded with no roommate.\
Correct, I dont actually live there.
Your friend's lack of a roommate is not your problem, it is their problem to deal with and get taken care of. Your girlfriend is crazy if she does all the chores around the place outside of her individual room unless she uses those rooms and makes the mess.
As far as you paying rent if you do not live there you are not legally responsible for paying rent.
From what you have written this "friend" of yours wants someone else to do all the chores, pay all the rent and food, have no one over to visit but does not want to share the entire apartment either.
Thanks for the advice everyone. The situation is kinda complicated. Ive been friends with this girl and her family for roughly 15 years by now. Italked with my GF some more about it and Im thinking about moving in. My friend always needs people around. she doesnt mind having little privacy. i know it sounds weird but shes always been like that. Honestly I think my friend is jealous and a bit selfish toward my GF and I. Every time someone "ditches" her, she takes it out on my GF and it creates a lot of stress on our relationship.
Okay, so why would you voluntarily move into a situation like this?
From the sounds of it your friend is "ditched" a lot but that does not change the fact that her having a roommate or not is not your responsibility to deal with.
Just like it is not the responsbility of your girlfriend to keep the entire apartment clean when she stays in her room most of the time.
The way you have presented your friend in your posts, you make it appear that she is not really a very good friend and she is or tries to take advantage of everyone around her. Hence the reason she is probably "ditched" often by others.
Thanks for the advice everyone. The situation is kinda complicated. Ive been friends with this girl and her family for roughly 15 years by now. Italked with my GF some more about it and Im thinking about moving in. My friend always needs people around. she doesnt mind having little privacy. i know it sounds weird but shes always been like that. Honestly I think my friend is jealous and a bit selfish toward my GF and I. Every time someone "ditches" her, she takes it out on my GF and it creates a lot of stress on our relationship.
Ok, that's a HORRIBLE idea from how you described it. If she is stressing out your relationship anytime she gets ditched, you have a problem that's just going to get worse.
Eventually, you two will want to move out. Think about how bad that is going to ruin your friendship.
Move in somewhere else with the GF. Don't move in with this friend.
I was in a similar situation. I ended up living there and paying rent after a while. It was my bf at the time and his brother and we were in a two bedroom apartment. His brother was a big time mooch and complainer. We got the smaller room and had to pay evenly. I think its more fair to pay by bedroom. Instead of paying $286 a person it is more fair IMO to pay $425 per room.
I was the only one who bothered to go food shopping. He would just wait til we did and then take whatever he wanted. But if he went shopping he'd label everything with his name on it so nobody else would touch it. We also would split chores but he'd always complain about the "mess not being his". However, he'd leave his dirty dishes and crap all over and expect us to clean it.
The biggest thing that pissed me off was when he got a girlfriend. She ended up spending every night there. When I did this he insisted I pay rent, food, etc. When she did it he changed the rules around. It didn't count now. My boyfriend agreed with me about everything and said he was a huge ahole and mooch but didn't want to say anything. But his brother constantly complained to him. Needless to say I moved out and then we ended up breaking up. It still bothers me thinking about it. But I guess that's life. There will always be complainers and those who think the world revolves around them. Live and learn right?
*after I wrote this I saw your thing about people over. That was another thing. If he had work in the morning nobody was allowed to make noise. I worked 7 PM - 2 AM at the time, and had class in the mornings. I would try and sleep some in the afternoon and he would get home and have people over drinking and being loud. But if I said something? "I pay rent and can do whatever I want" ugh..*
OP, I am guessing you're still living with your parents? I can't imagine any other circumstance in which moving in with GF and the weirdo roomie could sound appealing to you.
You would be better off saving up and finding a new place with the GF, in my opinion. Don't move into the current place and make a stressful situation even more stressful.
Grow the heck up! Get your own place or stay home.
You've been given plenty of good advice and you've decided to do the exact opposite thing. You're pretty much a user and a fool. You'd rather move into an awkward situation to save money instead of getting your act together and finding a decent job and apartment.
I havent made the decision to move in with them yet...
Ive been thinking about it and it is a bad idea. I could see our(all 3 of us) relationship turning sour having a third leg in the Apartment.
Rent around here isnt too expensive. But Id only be paying like 350 a month for this place where normally it could be around 600+ each. Small beans for most people I know.
Im in the process of finding a better job, its not easy and it takes some time.
Thanks again everyone for shedding some light. I really dont have anyone to talk about this with.
Have you talked to your girlfriend's roommate about plans to move in? (I hope so.) Do you expect to just split your girlfriend's share of rent? (I hope not.)
There is a big difference between sharing an apartment with one roommate and sharing with two. Most 2 bedrooms only have one bathroom and I can tell you from experience that even in the best of circumstances, its a pain sharing 1 bathroom with 2 other people. It also is a huge reduction of privacy, especially in a 2 bedroom situation where there is no extra space for the 3rd person to go.
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