Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Jeez.....what's the harm in going out of your way a bit for your fellow man? This me, mine, scr## you attitude that has pervaded the country is way out of hand.
OP, I like your outlook on many things, but this one turns me off in a big way.
Jeez.....what's the harm in going out of your way a bit for your fellow man? This me, mine, scr## you attitude that has pervaded the country is way out of hand.
OP, I like your outlook on many things, but this one turns me off in a big way.
Kathryn and I don't agree on a lot of things, but I see her point here. I'll go one further and say that there is a huge difference between going out of one's way for one's fellow man and enabling irresponsible people who would then turn around and blame you for things they should be taking care of themselves.
I like all of her examples, too. My ex did the first two a lot--asking me to remind him of things and always being late. The first one, I handled as I mentioned upthread. I also eventually told him that with all his tech savvy and his huge fascination with his smartphone, surely there was a way he could program it to remind him of things he needed to be reminded about.
As for the second, I told him that the next time he was late when we had to be somewhere, he was going alone. When I stood my ground, he couldn't handle it. That was the end of the relationship, because I'll be damned if I tolerate someone treating my time as less valuable than his. It's a huge sign of disrespect. Nope!
I also had a boss that would ask me to remind her of things she had to do in the execution of her own dang job. Thing is, I was not her secretary or assistant, responsible for keeping her calendar. She had even been put into a time-management class and a class on how to use Outlook to schedule appointments. She was just too lazy, and in a professional situation, it plays out exactly as Kathryn described: The person who fails to remind is held at least partly responsible, when it wasn't even their responsibility in the first place. Forget that!
Omg you must know me, lol
This exact thing has just happened;
I actually told someone just 3 days ago that we're all adults, & she is not my responsibility.
If there's one thing I know-
its that you can't count on anyone but yourself.
So when people try to give me their sob stories & manipulate me into handling their stuff-
It's not just no, it's Hell no.
I agree with the co-worker and neighbor incident. However, your daughter asks for help because her ex is purposely pulling this and leaving her late for work. I don't see how if you can, why you would say no to helping her and your grandchildren. This isn't a neighbor or someone you work with. This is family.
I agree with the co-worker and neighbor incident. However, your daughter asks for help because her ex is purposely pulling this and leaving her late for work. I don't see how if you can, why you would say no to helping her and your grandchildren. This isn't a neighbor or someone you work with. This is family.
She was not saying no to helping with grandkids.
She was saying no to enabling the irresponsible and contentious idiot parents who cannot bother to get their sh*t together for their kids.
I agree with the co-worker and neighbor incident. However, your daughter asks for help because her ex is purposely pulling this and leaving her late for work. I don't see how if you can, why you would say no to helping her and your grandchildren. This isn't a neighbor or someone you work with. This is family.
She was going to help her. She told daughter if ex did not pick up kids by a certain time, give him 5 minutes, then leave. Bring them to her house but do not tell ex.
Also goes along with what I tell new realtors when they try to manipulate seasoned agents into doing their work for them:
It's not my policy to foster helplessness and incompetency. Do it yourself.
I even smile when I say it.
It does drive me crazy when one friend does this. She'll call and "Let's go to lunch - it's been awhile!" We will pick a day and time - and then she ALWAYS say "OK, call and remind me." What? She called me! It does indeed imply that my time is not as valuable as her time. Time and time again, I have said "OK, well, let's go ahead and cancel, because it must not be worth remembering or writing it down, for you." She apologizes - but does it again the very next time. I guess it works on most people, because it seems to be a habit she cannot break.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
