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[quote=aquietpath;35175784]If you are new to Christianity, you may be under the false impression that all church goers are Christian, and will behave in the way that Jesus commanded. You will be disillusioned.
For many people, attending church is their social outlet, a way to look good to the community, and a way for people to gain prestige and power (if they rise in the ranks).
I sure found this to be true. I have had some painful experiences and have pretty much given up the traditional church route for these reasons.
You still drink, so you're an active alcoholic. Now is not the time to be focusing on making friends or finding a Christian man. Now is the time to be working on your recovery. And, imho, you shouldn't be doing at your church. It's called Alcoholics Anonymous for a reason - when you're surrounded by people in your social circle 1) you are less likely to be fully honest and open due to the fact that there are people you know there and 2) you are more likely to be the subject of gossip within your social circle.
How do you know she is an "active alcoholic"? Some people drink to excess and have problems, they cut down on their drinking and the problems go away. It is not always all or nothing. I've known many hard core drinkers that were screwing up their life. Now they drink moderately or lightly and are fine.
How do you know she is an "active alcoholic"? Some people drink to excess and have problems, they cut down on their drinking and the problems go away. It is not always all or nothing. I've known many hard core drinkers that were screwing up their life. Now they drink moderately or lightly and are fine.
A "recovery meeting" is for an addict.
I know several formerly hard-drinking people who now just drink moderately. They did not need any meetings to help them get their drinking under control.
I know several formerly hard-drinking people who now just drink moderately. They did not need any meetings to help them get their drinking under control.
You did not give enough details for anyone to give you valid advice. Are you an alcoholic? Also, if not, drinking is not a sin in many churches. Going to bars is not either, but having premarital sex is a sin in pretty much every church. Why do these women know so much about you? If they won't accept you, warts and all, they are not Christian. Instead they are pretending to be something they are not. I would try to find a more accepting church.
Thank you OHKY and thinkalot. I too was a little annoyed at his "assumption" and "jump to conclusion" based on the few words I said.
So, more details: The meeting I attended at my church was for Celebrate Recovery, a Christ-centered recovery program.
People go there for many reasons, including codependence, relationship issues, sex addictions, and drugs and alcohol.
Yes, I am going in hopes of receiving help with my addiction to alcohol. Yes, omg, I sat there in a meeting with a group of women and spoke of how I wish to be healed of my addiction and then was busted out by one of them when she got behind me in line at the grocery store after the meeting and there was a six-pack of beer in my cart! How embarrassing!!! And yep, humans being humans, that information could quickly be sent back to everyone at church!
I just figure hey, I'm in a process right now of being shown that I do have a problem and that I do need to address it. Will I quit for good some day soon? I don't know to be honest. Have I stopped doing much of the debauchery associated with it? For the most part. So it is a journey...........
Again, I don't know how much all these women at my church know, but guess what, many of them are in the same Celebrate Recovery meetings! So we all got problems! (bad grammar intended there)
As far as finding a new church, I did consider that, and went and checked another out. Hated it!
Decided mine was just fine.
Based on everyone's responses, I would say my best bet at this point in time is to go to church to seek GOD'S WORD rather than friendships! That is after all the ultimate purpose of church, is it not!
If at some point, I do meet a woman or man I connect with, GREAT! If not, ohhh well.
Thank you OHKY and thinkalot. I too was a little annoyed at his "assumption" and "jump to conclusion" based on the few words I said.
So, more details: The meeting I attended at my church was for Celebrate Recovery, a Christ-centered recovery program.
People go there for many reasons, including codependence, relationship issues, sex addictions, and drugs and alcohol.
Yes, I am going in hopes of receiving help with my addiction to alcohol. Yes, omg, I sat there in a meeting with a group of women and spoke of how I wish to be healed of my addiction and then was busted out by one of them when she got behind me in line at the grocery store after the meeting and there was a six-pack of beer in my cart! How embarrassing!!! And yep, humans being humans, that information could quickly be sent back to everyone at church!
I just figure hey, I'm in a process right now of being shown that I do have a problem and that I do need to address it. Will I quit for good some day soon? I don't know to be honest. Have I stopped doing much of the debauchery associated with it? For the most part. So it is a journey...........
Again, I don't know how much all these women at my church know, but guess what, many of them are in the same Celebrate Recovery meetings! So we all got problems! (bad grammar intended there)
As far as finding a new church, I did consider that, and went and checked another out. Hated it!
Decided mine was just fine.
Based on everyone's responses, I would say my best bet at this point in time is to go to church to seek GOD'S WORD rather than friendships! That is after all the ultimate purpose of church, is it not!
If at some point, I do meet a woman or man I connect with, GREAT! If not, ohhh well.
This is actually a rather healthy point of view.
Churches are just like any other organization. They will have people with whom you connect and others with whom you will not. However, I think it takes time, not something to be forced. While churches tend to be more communitarian, places where there are more opportunities to connect with others, these bonds still take time to form. I think that your church likely has social outlets and small group meetings where you can build these bonds one conversation at a time. People of all stripes are wary of the full-court press of people wanting to become instant buddies.
The other question is how much of your past life you're revealing. Not necessarily because people will run from you if you do, but rather because you just got into the TMI realm rather quickly.
Well I'm going to my church community group tonight. No, not my first time. I am a socializer. I'll have to let you know how tonight's goes, now that I have all this new insight.
Yes, I am a TMIer, but not usually with these people, for surely they would run if they knew half the crap I've done in the past. The people I will be seeing tonight, a few are from Celebrate Recovery (I know some of you are going to say how that's a bit too much of integration there); the rest have just seen me at church and don't know me and I do not share a lot in our group sessions.
I know about Celebrate Recovery, it was not ideal for the given situation I was looking into BUT it could work great for you.
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