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Over the last few years, my parent freely stated on a few occasions, I would be given some money towards a purchase I planned on making eventually. I am close to making that purchase but I am not sure if the offer still stands (parent still has funds, but could have "forgotten" what was said, changed mind, etc). Would it be rude of me to say "remember when you said you were going to give me money towards the item I have been planning on? I am close to doing so, what will you be giving me towards it?" Is that rude or presumptuous? Or do I just make the purchase since I have the funds and see if parent offers some cash after the fact? Keep in mind, I do not know the amount that was going to be given and it would help to know since I may spend more or less if additional funds are available or not. What would you do?
Last edited by Glad2BHere; 06-14-2014 at 12:20 AM..
Just make the purchase on your own. Part of becoming an adult is learning to stand on your own two feet. If the parent follows throgh on their offer to contribute, consider if gravy. If they don't, realize you weren't entitled to to in the first place - don't be bitter. Not sure what the purchase is, but congratulations on having he discipline to save for . That's worth more than any amount your parent could have given you. Some people love their whole life and never develop that ability.
You said you have the funds so I am wondering at the time they offered to help did you not have the funds? If you don't ask them will you struggle financially?
I don't think there is anything wrong with asking but I would state it differently. Something like you are thinking of making the purchase but wonder if they were still going to help.
I said other ... I wouldn't directly for the money, I would ask if the offer still stands. It's a minor distinction in wording, but an important one to me.
Personally, I think it is not only rude, but presumptuous to assume that your parents are willing to continue to fund your purchases when you are able to provide for yourself. At the time they made the comment perhaps their financial situation was at a place where it would have been no problem. Given the turn of the economy today - and I don't know how long ago the conversation occurred - they may not be in a financial situation right now where they could help out even if they wanted to and maybe that's not something they would want you to know. What if you ask and instead of being honest they dug into their savings or financed it - that might a hardship for them - when you can clearly afford to do it on your own. I would hope you have learned by now that one of the greatest rewards of being a grown up is paying your own way and providing for yourself - with no help. You indicated that not knowing how much money they were talking about would influence your purchase - then why not just purchase what you can afford on your own - and deal with that. If you can't afford it now - then keep saving until you have enough, and stop waiting on them to help fund you. They raised you already - their work is done.
At the time they made the comment perhaps their financial situation was at a place where it would have been no problem. Given the turn of the economy today - and I don't know how long ago the conversation occurred - they may not be in a financial situation right now where they could help out even if they wanted to and maybe that's not something they would want you to know. If you can't afford it now - then keep saving until you have enough, and stop waiting on them to help fund you. They raised you already - their work is done.
As I stated above, they are 100% absolutely in a better financial position than back then (still a good one back then which was why the offer was made). And I am in the same financial position as I was back then as well, actually maybe a bit less so at this point.
I am not waiting, I am simply wondering if the offer they suggested still stands? And wondering if it's rude to ask before making the purchase or just wait to see if anything is offered after the purchase. But knowing if they are contributing (as again, they have offered on their own, was not solicited by myself ever in anyway) because it might play into which item I would choose.
LOL. I know their work is done. No where did I imply that I expect anything financially, but I just wondered if it was rude to ask for something repeatedly promised to me on their own free will. That's all.
Last edited by Glad2BHere; 06-14-2014 at 08:20 AM..
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