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How do I politely respond to constant nosey questions about my husbands employment status from family members?
In short. My husband was hurt at work. Due to a contract agreement with employer, he lost his job and could not return. From there economically things took a drastic turn for us. On top of that the economy is awful. We moved to a new state. After his recovery and moving. We had to adjust. It took my husband many, many months to find employment, unfortunately there is no market in his profession were we live making things even tougher. He had to bite the bullet and now is a server at a restaurant. Trust me, we are so beyond grateful. The job market is horrible!! At some point he will, yet again, go back to school to further his education for a greater opportunity.
We've had the constant question "Has he found a job yet?" Well now he has this job, but we want to keep our business to ourselves. We are not embarrassed about his new job. Being a server is an honorable livelihood for many good and hardworking people. My family's constant questions these many months have caused major friction with them, in our marriage, and have created unfair opinions and feeling of inadequacy toward my husband as if he is not capable of caring for me.
When the question comes up.. because it will... How do we respond that yes he has a job, but don't want to elaborate any further?
What century is this? Incapable of "caring for you"? Do you have a job and contribute monetarily to the household?
Just tell them "Thank you for asking, yes he has a job. It's in a different field, but right now we are grateful that at least he's working!"
No need to go into detail of how much money he makes or you both make together.
Unless the OP and her husband have borrowed money from the same family members, that is a game changer.
It would help to understand why OP feels the questions are so intrusive to know if, indeed, family members have contributed to their household maintenance through lending or giving them money.
It would also help to understand why OP and hubby made a move to an area where they knew he would not find job opportunities.
To me, OP sounds grateful that her hubby found work and they are trying to "get back on their feet."
If someone asked me about my hubby's job in such a situation, I would say what others have recommended - something about "grateful he has an interim position so we can keep body and soul together" and "we are making plans for the future so hubby can be in a better position for his career."
Of course, if folks have lent money or given money to the couple, they may be asking out of real concern about the couple's future. People who have lent/given money do have a vested interest in their future.
My answer would be:
"Yes, he's waiting tables, and I'm so proud of him! He's really working hard to get back on his feet, and I'm right there with him. We realize some people might take issue with this type of work, but really, there is no shame in any honest work."
How do I politely respond to constant nosey questions about my husbands employment status from family members?
In short. My husband was hurt at work. Due to a contract agreement with employer, he lost his job and could not return. From there economically things took a drastic turn for us. On top of that the economy is awful. We moved to a new state. After his recovery and moving. We had to adjust. It took my husband many, many months to find employment, unfortunately there is no market in his profession were we live making things even tougher. He had to bite the bullet and now is a server at a restaurant. Trust me, we are so beyond grateful. The job market is horrible!! At some point he will, yet again, go back to school to further his education for a greater opportunity.
We've had the constant question "Has he found a job yet?" Well now he has this job, but we want to keep our business to ourselves. We are not embarrassed about his new job. Being a server is an honorable livelihood for many good and hardworking people. My family's constant questions these many months have caused major friction with them, in our marriage, and have created unfair opinions and feeling of inadequacy toward my husband as if he is not capable of caring for me.
When the question comes up.. because it will... How do we respond that yes he has a job, but don't want to elaborate any further?
I really don't understand what the big deal is here. Actually, you do sound like you're embarrassed. You said he "had to bite the bullet"..."we want to keep our business to ourselves"...why? When my husband got laid off (3 times in less than 2 years), my dad would ask me every couple of days how the job hunting was coming along and even he said to take whatever job comes along as long as a paycheck comes in. Just tell them, "yes, hubby found a job, thank goodness! He's working as a server at (insert restaurant name) but it was really the only job he could find right now. The job market is horrible but we'll take it for now until something better comes along". Give them an answer to shut them up that way they'll back off.
I think you are embarrassed about your husband's big step down in profession. You shouldn't be. You have every reason to be proud of being with a man who did not have too much pride to accept the job he was offered and make the best of it.
In answer to the family questions?
"Yes, he has found a steady job working in a local restaurant. He is such a great guy that he is willing to do whatever it takes to keep a roof over our heads until better things come along."
I worked in that industry for 10 years. Yeah it is not a job you want to stay in forever but it gets the bills paid and the flexibility will make it easier for him to either go to school or have time to look for an interview for other opportunities.
Great response!! OP, you should feel proud your husband is doing whatever necessary to bring in the $$. Too many people feel they are too good to accept a job they feel is beneath them. I've done a lot of jobs over the years that I didn't want to shout about from the rooftops, but it fed my kids and kept a roof over our heads until something better came along.
My motto has always been "Some money is better than no money".
My answer would be:
"Yes, he's waiting tables, and I'm so proud of him! He's really working hard to get back on his feet, and I'm right there with him. We realize some people might take issue with this type of work, but really, there is no shame in any honest work."
I think this is a great answer. Work with that, OP. It will be difficult not to disclose, IMO.
It's a damn shame that society does this to men. Like if they are not pulling on 6 figures or close he is looked at some kind of failure by many. If single making a living as a waiter will disqualify many men from even getting into the dating game. A relationship will be difficult.
It's a money driven society we are living in, sadly. The quality of the person often comes in second to the income he is bringing home. It didn't used to be that way...
I disagree with most of the posters. All you have to say is " he got a job as a server until something better comes along."
All of this about being proud of him, great guy, etc. makes it sound like you are trying to convince yourself, not the asker.
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