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Having read all the responses thus far, I see the most common reason for staying in the hometown to be maintaining closeness with family and there is definitely nothing wrong with that. If that was the case for me I would probably feel a stronger desire to be in my hometown but alas 99% of the family that was around during my childhood is dead or dispersed across the country. Subsequently I now feel most at home in a 'new' place of my choosing.
For those who cited family as a reason for staying in or returning to your hometown would your feelings remain the same if the family was no longer around there?
This is how it's becoming for me as well. My parents are 56 and are thinking of relocating to Florida from Appalachian Tennessee. Dad is a finalist for a position in Florida at his same employer that pays 50% more than the role he's at in Appalachia. Mom would gladly relocate as well as she is hating winter now.
Most of my friends from back home have already left or will be leaving at the first opportunity. There aren't a lot of friends left there for me.
If mom and dad leave and once my grandparents die, there will be no real reason for me to return.
I received an invite to my high school's ten year reunion Facebook group this afternoon. I was on the fence about attending, and then I checked the confirmed attendees list, and it was mostly all the people who never left the hometown! The people who were more ambitious have mostly moved away, and I didn't see many of the names of those who are successful.
Wait up! Give it some time, you might be surprised at those who choose to attend. Don't be so quick to make snap judgements about the people who have or haven't responded so far. Some of those locals responded so quickly because they don't have to worry about requesting time off work for travel, they don't need to check to see if the budget can accommodate airfare and hotels, rental cars, etc. no worries about what to do with the kids or the pets while they are out of town. Easy call for them, may take longer for out of towners to figure out the logistics of whether or not it's feasible.
Moving from your hometown doesn't equate to ambition, moving to a big city doesn't equate to ambition either. (It might be said to equate to being adventurous though) I've done both, multiple times, and I'm pretty sure you don't consider me ambitious or successful at all, considering where I chose to move to, lol.
Wait up! Give it some time, you might be surprised at those who choose to attend. Don't be so quick to make snap judgements about the people who have or haven't responded so far. Some of those locals responded so quickly because they don't have to worry about requesting time off work for travel, they don't need to check to see if the budget can accommodate airfare and hotels, rental cars, etc. no worries about what to do with the kids or the pets while they are out of town. Easy call for them, may take longer for out of towners to figure out the logistics of whether or not it's feasible.
Moving from your hometown doesn't equate to ambition, moving to a big city doesn't equate to ambition either. (It might be said to equate to being adventurous though) I've done both, multiple times, and I'm pretty sure you don't consider me ambitious or successful at all, considering where I chose to move to, lol.
Funny you mention this as another one of the attendees (who went to Milligan and got a theater degree) is slinging coffee at Dunkin' Donuts per his Facebook. SMDH.
My single mom began working at a new Denny's in our neighborhood in 1992. I myself, began working at the same place at the age of 15 in 1998.
Around 2001 (age of 18), I started developing this immense fear that I'd be working there and living in that area my entire life.
I was beyond comfortable. Steady income, stable job, management loved me, had good friends. TBH, I was incredibly terrified about the situation.
I began researching other places around the country, using sites like this before this one existed.
Some bumps in the road ultimately helped force me out. A lot of happy accidents along the way too (twists of fate), many of which shaped my current life.
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My ex-sister-in-law visited me last week, from my hometown. We had a nice time. I remarked that I would only ever return home for the food.
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My younger (by 2 years) brother still lives in our hometown. He still works at the same place (large retail store everyone has heard of) he worked when he graduated high school, only a few blocks from that Denny's my mother and I worked at. He's been married, divorced, and has a young daughter he sees on weekends. He rents a room from a friend, but I don't think he's ever had his proper "own" place.
Our mother and younger sister moved 2 hours away from home in 2003, I followed in 2004. Sister moved even further away (1200 mi) in 2005. Mom died in 2006. I moved further away in 2007 (1000 mi). We have no emotionally close family in the area anymore, just my father's side whom we've never had much contact with. He's essentially all alone down there.
Ex-sister-in-law wants to move away to a new city, with my brother's daughter. She's tried convincing him to move to the new city as well, but he's refused, he has no interest in ever leaving home.
Now, I can make no judgment as to whether he's happy, he's happy there, or if he feels like he has something keeping him there. I have no clue, he mostly resists contact with me.
There can only be one reason: "There's no place like home."
It's one thing for a person to stay in their hometown if they have a good paying job and do some traveling. What bothers me is logging onto Facebook and seeing people I went to high school with between the ages of 20 and 24 living close to our old high school and working crappy minimum wage jobs married with a kid or two! They had no ambition after graduating. They are perfectly fine with getting married and settling down with a crappy minimum wage job for the rest of their lives. I'm not saying everyone has to go to college, but these people didn't even go to trade school or vocational school. What satisfaction can someone get with that kind of life?!?! The biggest news in their life is getting promoted at their job at McDonald's. It's sad. I feel that the 20's are for college/trade school, starting a career and figuring yourself out (traveling etc). Not getting married, having babies and working at the local McDonalds....
Well, I've lived in 4 countries in the last couple of years but that is because I got married and my husband's job is like that so I have to move, I wont say im successful at all in my carrer as I have never really been able to work with my degree. I a lot of my childhood friends have told me that they feel jealous of everything I've lived and seen but they have no idea how stressful it can get and the only thing I want is to settle in one place.
When I was young I wanted to get out of my little town in Spain, heck now I want to go back.
I received an invite to my high school's ten year reunion Facebook group this afternoon. I was on the fence about attending, and then I checked the confirmed attendees list, and it was mostly all the people who never left the hometown! The people who were more ambitious have mostly moved away, and I didn't see many of the names of those who are successful.
I'm a little surprised at how few people of those I grew up with really wanted to expand their horizons and live somewhere else, even if it's just relatively briefly. What do you think of people who never leave their hometowns? Are they a bit insulated, maybe even fearful?
I used to think they were nuts but not anymore.
Oddly enough, many of the kids in my class that I expected to move on and have successful careers elsewhere did not; however, most of them did very well for themselves, and I don't think they've been any less happy than those of us who left. `
And after all these decades, now I want to move back.
Oddly enough, many of the kids in my class that I expected to move on and have successful careers elsewhere did not; however, most of them did very well for themselves, and I don't think they've been any less happy than those of us who left. `
And after all these decades, now I want to move back.
That really depends on your hometown though. It's much easier to make it in your hometown if your hometown is NYC than if it's somewhere in West Virginia.
I received an invite to my high school's ten year reunion Facebook group this afternoon. I was on the fence about attending, and then I checked the confirmed attendees list, and it was mostly all the people who never left the hometown! The people who were more ambitious have mostly moved away, and I didn't see many of the names of those who are successful.
I'm a little surprised at how few people of those I grew up with really wanted to expand their horizons and live somewhere else, even if it's just relatively briefly. What do you think of people who never leave their hometowns? Are they a bit insulated, maybe even fearful?
You seem to judge others based on the fact they never left their hometown, who are you to say they don't have any ambition? I come from a small town many people I went to school with still live here and have good jobs. also your level of success and someone else may be different, and just because someone puts that they do such and such for a living on facebook as job doesn't make it true. You posted before that you don't understand why people don't leave your town, maybe they are happy.It's clear you think because someone don't live THEIR life the way YOU think they should they are not a success.
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