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Old 07-22-2014, 09:36 AM
 
1,922 posts, read 3,978,096 times
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What is the fascination with this question? Is it to compare themselves to others? To "one-up" someone subtly? To be sure they're in your socio-economic class? Just to get the conversation flowing?

I'm just wondering because to me, it's somewhat annoying.

I'd prefer someone ask me about my hobbies, movies I enjoy, or places I have traveled.

How do you feel about this question? Maybe I'm just overreacting, but it's gotten to the point that I am asked that question so much that it is an instant turn-off and I either say starving artist or still finding out.

I personally am not defined by my employment because to me it's just a means to doing the things I actually enjoy.

I was even playing Words With Friends and my random, stranger opponent asked me this question.

So again, how do you feel about this question? If you ask, then what is your reason for doing so?
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Old 07-22-2014, 09:41 AM
 
Location: southwestern PA
22,420 posts, read 47,411,742 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nj21 View Post
What is the fascination with this question? Is it to compare themselves to others? To "one-up" someone subtly? To be sure they're in your socio-economic class? Just to get the conversation flowing?

I'm just wondering because to me, it's somewhat annoying.

I'd prefer someone ask me about my hobbies, movies I enjoy, or places I have traveled.
In another post, you lamented about your lack of travel.
Wouldn't you rather talk about your line of work than a regret you have?

It is just conversation. Maybe you have something in common as far as work goes. Reluctance to talk about your job, even just a little, would come off as odd to me... like you are ashamed of it or something.
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Old 07-22-2014, 09:56 AM
 
6,039 posts, read 6,036,039 times
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It's just one topic to talk about and given how much we work, it's not inappropriate at all. Just because you say you're not defined by your employment...people are just supposed to automatically know that? I'm not defined by mine either, but I'm OK talking about it.

Of course in some settings it COULD be inappropriate, just like any other topic; it's situational. For instance when I get a sense that I'm in a group of social climbers or wannabees and I know them asking what I do is just a means of wanting to pitch themselves or ask me for something...that's a big ick for me. But depending on the group, *any* topic could be construed as annoying or inappropriate.
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Old 07-22-2014, 09:58 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,761,388 times
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So when you meet someone, you don't want to know how they spend 8+ hours of their days???

It's a legitimate get-to-know-you question that only becomes threatening if you're defensive about what you do.
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Old 07-22-2014, 09:59 AM
 
Location: New Jersey
12,322 posts, read 17,091,324 times
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I usually don't ask, If someone asks me I just tell them.
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Old 07-22-2014, 10:01 AM
 
5,570 posts, read 7,251,416 times
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It's simply a conversation starter. Work, whether we like it or not, takes up a very large portion of our lives. Perhaps it doesn't define us, but it is a large part of how we spend our lives.

I dropped my car off at the dealership for servicing yesterday, and the driver of the shuttle (taking me to my office) asked me that very question. I doubt he was trying to one-up me or establish socio-economic class. He was just making conversation to avoid awkward silence.

Don't overthink it.
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Old 07-22-2014, 10:03 AM
 
1,922 posts, read 3,978,096 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pitt Chick View Post
In another post, you lamented about your lack of travel.
Wouldn't you rather talk about your line of work than a regret you have?

It is just conversation. Maybe you have something in common as far as work goes. Reluctance to talk about your job, even just a little, would come off as odd to me... like you are ashamed of it or something.
I can talk about my travels within the US, and that's about it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
So when you meet someone, you don't want to know how they spend 8+ hours of their days???
Not really.

--------------------
If I'm not at work, I'm at home..when I do actually go out, the last thing on my mind is work.
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Old 07-22-2014, 10:09 AM
 
6,039 posts, read 6,036,039 times
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Well sometimes if I want to avoid a certain topic I know is going to come up I go on the offensive and become the starter of conversations about topics I prefer.

Sometimes that works.

Passively expecting others to know you don't want to talk about work (or any other topic) doesn't work for the most part.
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Old 07-22-2014, 10:11 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,761,388 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by nj21 View Post
I can talk about my travels within the US, and that's about it.



Not really.

--------------------
If I'm not at work, I'm at home..when I do actually go out, the last thing on my mind is work.
So after spending 15 minutes discussing movies, the weather, sports, and traveling, you would not want to know that they were, oh, say, the mayor or a firefighter or a music producer??

Conversation involves both people. It's not just about you.
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Old 07-22-2014, 10:18 AM
 
1,922 posts, read 3,978,096 times
Reputation: 1342
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
So after spending 15 minutes discussing movies, the weather, sports, and traveling, you would not want to know that they were, oh, say, the mayor or a firefighter or a music producer??

Conversation involves both people. It's not just about you.
What benefit does knowing the above have?

If they're not signing me to a music deal or offering me a job. Why am I so concerned with what they do?

Most people talk to others to see what they can get out of someone. I guess this is why I personally don't like the question. It's on the same level as asking a salary to me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by elhelmete View Post
Well sometimes if I want to avoid a certain topic I know is going to come up I go on the offensive and become the starter of conversations about topics I prefer.

Sometimes that works.

Passively expecting others to know you don't want to talk about work (or any other topic) doesn't work for the most part.
Leading the conversation seems like a good idea. I believe I'm a passive conversationalist.
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