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Old 07-22-2014, 03:48 PM
 
4 posts, read 6,227 times
Reputation: 32

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Quote:
Originally Posted by cheryjohns View Post
I have a couple of friends that will call me and then just sit like a bump while I do the entire conversation by myself. They also do that in person. They light up when I ask a question - then give me a very short 1 or 2 word answer - then settle back and wait for the next question. They never ask me anything back. It feels like I am there as entertainment - and they give me back the same feedback as if they were watching a talk-show host monologue. It's tiring and boring to me. Any attempt to get them into a prolonged comment falls flat. I find myself avoiding them and their calls. The ages of those people are over 40, so they evidently come in all ages.
OMG - I know one individual who phones me up, says hello then proceeds to just keep quiet, I am forced into talking, the telephones calls can last up to 5 mins if I can think of enough things to talk about, or sometimes a minute or less if start playing there game back. Completely awkward silences, all you get back from them in mmm.., no questions, nothing but disinterest in what your talking about. They never have anything to say - and your left thinking why is this person talking to me.

Worst than that you suggest doing anything, or there Opinions or ideas - All they says "I don't know". "not sure", "whatever you think".
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Old 07-22-2014, 04:20 PM
 
Location: Utah
5,002 posts, read 14,443,336 times
Reputation: 4980
In part, I blame Facebook. It is so "me centric" that people don't know how to have a conversation anymore. If you want to find out what someone is up to or how they're spending their time, you read about it on Facebook (I'm told). I'm not on Facebook. But when you are face to face, the back & forth dialogue has disappeared.

I have co-workers who like to talk about what's going on in their world when I try to engage them in conversation. But they don't ask me anything about my world. So attempting to take a cue from Facebook, I stated something I did or experienced to see if anyone would ask me about it or seem interested. Rather than inquire about my tidbit of information, the person I was speaking to decided to talk about something new in their world. I stopped making attempts to interact with them. I've worked with some of these people for over 10 years. It's not like we don't know each other's business.

Last edited by eggalegga; 07-22-2014 at 04:36 PM..
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Old 07-22-2014, 04:29 PM
 
Location: Sunnyvale, CA
5,737 posts, read 9,435,748 times
Reputation: 2921
Quote:
Originally Posted by jeckina View Post
Anyone get irritated by people who make no effort in conversations, no humour, no charm, nothing to say for themselves, no opinions and generally sit on the fence, one word answers to questions, general rudeness and brushing others off, leaving awkward silences.
it doesn't bother me. Sometimes those kind of people are very interesting once you get to know them. You don't have to be a blabbermouth to be an interesting or likeable person.

Quote:

You might think there just shy, but there just rude, unfriendly and have no manners.
This is a different story. If they are quiet because they are shy, I like it. But if they're stuck up and rude, forget about it.
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Old 07-22-2014, 04:30 PM
 
Location: Cary, NC
679 posts, read 1,555,176 times
Reputation: 1126
Not everyone likes to talk about things that don't interest them with people who don't interest them.
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Old 07-22-2014, 04:50 PM
 
Location: The Greater Houston Metro Area
8,985 posts, read 14,638,446 times
Reputation: 14868
Quote:
Originally Posted by chellemi808 View Post
Not everyone likes to talk about things that don't interest them with people who don't interest them.
Go back and read some posts. They call. They come visit. They attend Meetup groups. They seek you out and then just sit. That's what we are talking about.

I also notice that these same people do not talk to anyone. They have asked me dinner. The waitress has to pull words from them with forceps, to get their order. In fact, the waitress will talk and joke more with me than they do. You start being too busy when they call. Why do they seek out people?
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Old 07-22-2014, 05:24 PM
 
1,950 posts, read 3,285,607 times
Reputation: 1331
Maybe they just don't want to talk to you..
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Old 07-22-2014, 05:34 PM
 
Location: The Greater Houston Metro Area
8,985 posts, read 14,638,446 times
Reputation: 14868
Reading comprehension - it's evidently not for everyone.
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Old 07-22-2014, 06:49 PM
 
12,923 posts, read 6,184,694 times
Reputation: 10768
I once was friends with a woman who was about 20 years older than I was. She never married but had a long-time boyfriend who was a narcissist and didn't treat her well. Most people who met him just didn't like him. However, she, personally, was a very outgoing, likeable person.

Sometimes she would go to work-related gatherings and bring him along. I worked with her but with a company that had me there on contract. She would tell me the next day about how so-and-so ignored him and he was so hurt. I would be surprised as I knew the person she was talking about and never saw them behave in such a way. Yet, every time there was a gathering, I would hear about someone who ignored him.

Well...I then got invited to her home when she had a gathering. He was there and I was mindful about how she said people ignored him. So...I made a real effort to include him in conversations. Someone would bring up a subject and I would turn to him and say "What do you think?" He would look at me with a confused look on his face and say "Excuse me? What?" Aha! I get it now! People weren't ignoring him, he wasn't even engaged or participating.

Eventually, she and I drifted apart, which saddened me. However, I couldn't take being around him because I didn't want her to accuse me of ignoring him and hurting his feelings.

So...some people, for whatever reasons, just don't engage. I'm shy by nature but in social gatherings I won't be the most talkative person but I do add my two cents to conversations.
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Old 07-22-2014, 07:19 PM
 
Location: Cypress
16 posts, read 14,745 times
Reputation: 28
It's a form of AUTISM!!! Asperger Syndrome. Please try to have patience with these people and read about the symptoms. They WANT to be friendly but have trouble in social situations. They need a lot of counseling and it's often not diagnosed early enough. Many young teens seem to have this diagnosis and often never get the help they need early on.
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Old 07-22-2014, 07:27 PM
 
26,579 posts, read 52,119,267 times
Reputation: 20358
Might be a simple case of "If you have nothing good to say... keep your mouth shut"

I would much rather have quiet people than a bunch of boisterous loudmouths...
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