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I'm simply posting a post on City Data Forum to get confirmation that this mother is annoying and immature.
We can't give you confirmation, because we're only getting your side of the story. For all we know, the "baby daddy" and his assorted nosy family members are the real problem.
Uhmmm, i would say that your views depends on which state you live in and which side of the argument your on? Are you serious? Uhmm if the laws don't see children as property, then there would be no reason to have a winner and loser confrontation type system. We would have a system based on the ideal that both parents are equal in standing and the co-parenting laws and orders would be in place first and foremost to be lost by actions after, not to be lost based on aligations or what could be? (My ex gets angry and yells at me so potentially he/she is abusive and now me and our child needs protection and thus one parents rights have to be limited etc etc)
Unfortantly, joint custody really isnt the answer. Tech its just a legal term only if in practice its no different then the old custody/visitation model before its conception.
. Man takes total responsibility for baby and from day one, wants to be involved with baby as much as possible.
Quote:
Originally Posted by aneye4detail
She went after him for child support and got as much as she could squeeze out of him.
These statement contradict each other. If he truly took responsibility from Day 1, he would have been VOLUNTARILY been paying regular child support (not just buying diapers) from the get go. There then would have been no need for her to go "after him for child support". She would have already been receiving it.
As far as people's advice to butt out. I haven't butt in.
I'm simply posting a post on City Data Forum to get confirmation that this mother is annoying and immature. It is my business when it affects my son's ability to spend quality time with his cousin. It is my business because I choose to make it my business. However, I have not even talked to the mother in 14 years, with the exception of talking to her on the phone last week to ask her about her son's attendance at my son's birthday party. It was a totally amicable conversation.
I also posted to see if anyone had any knowledge about what the son can do if anything when he gets older. Like can he say he would prefer to spend more time with his father and would the courts "hear" him?
Don't feel bad. People getting things twisted and tell you to butt out, mind your own business, get a life and you are passive aggressive is all common posts found in most threads in City Data. lol You just have to sort thru the post of people actually trying to give you good advice. lol Like I said the mom is being a bit hard on the dad. Let the kid stay with his cousin. Why make it a big deal? I like when someone said eventually the kids will come to realize how the mom was and might resent her later in life.
These statement contradict each other. If he truly took responsibility from Day 1, he would have been VOLUNTARILY been paying regular child support (not just buying diapers) from the get go. There then would have been no need for her to go "after him for child support". She would have already been receiving it.
No offence my knight in shining armour but if you knew anything about law you would know that anything payed by cash without a courtorder for childsupport is a gift in the eyes of the court. "Cha Ching" can you say double payment?
Its really sad to see that people today have pretty much lost the ability to be free thinkers. If you research these issues you would see that approx 80% of primary custody of children nationally is awarded to mothers. No matter what the reason or justification. I find it difficult to believe that 80% of all males going thru the system are not as good or better then there mother counterparts in parenting?
Continued on my next post:
Last edited by hawaiian by heart; 07-23-2014 at 07:23 PM..
And if its not based on ability to love your children or parenting skills? Then what is it based on? This ideal that any male having to pay childsupport is a deadbeat is obsolete, when now the laws have changed that every non custodial parent has to have a case in Support Enforcement to pay childsupport. I believe if people really saw the amount of money spent to make money off our childreen in the name of "whats best for them" you would get sick to your stomach.
Yes, how old is the OP anyway? But what caught me was, "she went after him for child support." WHAT? Why was it necessary to "go after" a father for his child's rightful financial support?
well, if as a female, I can be your "knight in shining armour (sic)", I guess I will serve that role.
I agree with you, that the family courts disproportionately award custody to mothers. Each case should be on the merits, and the fathers should have just as much right to full custody as mothers. The system is flawed and could use many improvements. I believe some states are better than others.
But, I know from a close personal experience, that regular payments (in a amount similar to what the court would award) DOES count as child support (even without a court order). What does not count is a check for $40 here or there.
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