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Old 07-24-2014, 04:30 PM
 
Location: Durham, North Carolina
774 posts, read 1,610,339 times
Reputation: 1478

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I moved into one of the most Conservative counties in North Carolina.
I wanted rural and being a friendly guy, I thought I could handle it. (No, I am NOT a Conservative.)

Nope.
I'm not only viewed as an "outsider," but as an, "Intruder."
That's several steps further.

I just turned 61 and I'm retired.
I am a single man who lives on ten acres.
  1. At my age I don't NEED sex for sex sake... and would rather do without if there's no emotional .. heart connection. I'm not, "dead" ... I just don't need empty sex like I used to.
  2. I've traveled. I'm "wordly." So... the things I like to talk about don't seem to interest the locals.
  3. They have a unique way of seeing things ... like when I enter wearing a smile and a clean shirt, some act as if I'm attacking them...
  4. There seems to be an anger here that especially visible amongst women. Big turn off.
  5. Some seem to be looking at you for what you can do for them. If nothing, then "I'm nothing."
  6. There's also a, "misery loves company" kind of vibe. Folks seem happy if they've pissed you off.
  7. And the driving style! Some people don't want to actually engage you in conversation, but they want you to see them? Especially while driving down the road at 60-70 mph. (I'm not going to have a moment with someone driving down the road at 60-70 mph. Just not going to happen.)

There's a few more items on the list, but on the average, I'm kind of giving up. I've met other transplants who say they've been here for years and have never adjusted. Others say they just don't mess with them.

I know I'm just in a stage ... or I hope so, but any suggestions when reading this?
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Old 07-24-2014, 04:36 PM
 
35,325 posts, read 24,966,256 times
Reputation: 32369
Well shoot. Why did you move someplace that is super conservative when you're not? Of course you'll be ostracized.

I think this might be more a retirement thread though. Lots of people retire down South from where I've lived for cost of living and climate, and they just can't take the culture and move back.
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Old 07-24-2014, 04:39 PM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
32,968 posts, read 19,932,262 times
Reputation: 12850
Quote:
Originally Posted by veganwriter View Post
I moved into one of the most Conservative counties in North Carolina.
I wanted rural and being a friendly guy, I thought I could handle it. (No, I am NOT a Conservative.)

Nope.
I'm not only viewed as an "outsider," but as an, "Intruder."
That's several steps further.

I just turned 61 and I'm retired.
I am a single man who lives on ten acres.
  1. At my age I don't NEED sex for sex sake... and would rather do without if there's no emotional .. heart connection. I'm not, "dead" ... I just don't need empty sex like I used to.
  2. I've traveled. I'm "wordly." So... the things I like to talk about don't seem to interest the locals.
  3. They have a unique way of seeing things ... like when I enter wearing a smile and a clean shirt, some act as if I'm attacking them...
  4. There seems to be an anger here that especially visible amongst women. Big turn off.
  5. Some seem to be looking at you for what you can do for them. If nothing, then "I'm nothing."
  6. There's also a, "misery loves company" kind of vibe. Folks seem happy if they've pissed you off.
  7. And the driving style! Some people don't want to actually engage you in conversation, but they want you to see them? Especially while driving down the road at 60-70 mph. (I'm not going to have a moment with someone driving down the road at 60-70 mph. Just not going to happen.)

There's a few more items on the list, but on the average, I'm kind of giving up. I've met other transplants who say they've been here for years and have never adjusted. Others say they just don't mess with them.

I know I'm just in a stage ... or I hope so, but any suggestions when reading this?
Time to relocate.
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Old 07-24-2014, 04:40 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
42,631 posts, read 41,354,662 times
Reputation: 81921
Quote:
Originally Posted by veganwriter View Post
I moved into one of the most Conservative counties in North Carolina.
I wanted rural and being a friendly guy, I thought I could handle it. (No, I am NOT a Conservative.)

Nope.
I'm not only viewed as an "outsider," but as an, "Intruder."
That's several steps further.

I just turned 61 and I'm retired.
I am a single man who lives on ten acres.
  1. At my age I don't NEED sex for sex sake... and would rather do without if there's no emotional .. heart connection. I'm not, "dead" ... I just don't need empty sex like I used to.
  2. I've traveled. I'm "wordly." So... the things I like to talk about don't seem to interest the locals.
  3. They have a unique way of seeing things ... like when I enter wearing a smile and a clean shirt, some act as if I'm attacking them...
  4. There seems to be an anger here that especially visible amongst women. Big turn off.
  5. Some seem to be looking at you for what you can do for them. If nothing, then "I'm nothing."
  6. There's also a, "misery loves company" kind of vibe. Folks seem happy if they've pissed you off.
  7. And the driving style! Some people don't want to actually engage you in conversation, but they want you to see them? Especially while driving down the road at 60-70 mph. (I'm not going to have a moment with someone driving down the road at 60-70 mph. Just not going to happen.)

There's a few more items on the list, but on the average, I'm kind of giving up. I've met other transplants who say they've been here for years and have never adjusted. Others say they just don't mess with them.

I know I'm just in a stage ... or I hope so, but any suggestions when reading this?


I replied to this in the Psychology forum.

This is what I said:

The South is full of transplants who wanted a "Walden" experience and can't get over it when they don't find it.

It's difficult to tell from your examples exactly what kinds of situations you're alluding to. Why did you start with sex, for example?

And where are these angry women you encounter?

As a lifelong southerner, I fully admit that when I hear a "Northern" accent, which means anywhere NOT southern, I brace myself just a little bit because after a lifetime of hearing insults about the South, I assume I will get one from that person, too.

Personally, I have never been impressed with Durham anyway. How long have you lived there?

Last edited by BirdieBelle; 07-24-2014 at 04:54 PM..
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Old 07-24-2014, 04:43 PM
 
Location: NoVa
18,434 posts, read 29,386,959 times
Reputation: 19624
Really? I used to live an hour and a half outside of Durham in a small town and I loved it. I had to go to Durham every once in a while but usually stayed in my town, Greeneville, or Rocky Mount.

I never felt that way. I actually felt like I was friends with so many people in town. You could just go to a neighbors house and sit on the front porch with them.

I would go to Ace Hardware and they knew me by name and were always wanting to help.

The owner had even opened it up for me before for a certain tool and told me to pay for it when I got a chance.....

I guess I was an outsider too, but I seemed to fit right in.
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Old 07-24-2014, 04:46 PM
 
Location: southwestern PA
20,419 posts, read 37,464,474 times
Reputation: 39034
Quote:
Originally Posted by veganwriter View Post
I moved into one of the most Conservative counties in North Carolina.
I wanted rural and being a friendly guy, I thought I could handle it. (No, I am NOT a Conservative.)

Nope.
I'm not only viewed as an "outsider," but as an, "Intruder."
Now that you know you cannot handle it, move!
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Old 07-24-2014, 04:49 PM
 
35,325 posts, read 24,966,256 times
Reputation: 32369
How much time have you given it? If it is less than a couple of years, it just might be wanting too much, too fast..
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Old 07-24-2014, 04:51 PM
 
120 posts, read 93,824 times
Reputation: 139
Did you not check out the local culture before making such a big decision and investment? 10 acres? Wow.
But as long as you're there, how about reporting to us from Planet Rural SC? What are the local women angry about? What's everyone so uptight about? And what was it you wanted Dear Abby for? You don't seem to have a lovelorn question, except that you hate your location.
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Old 07-24-2014, 04:54 PM
 
3,396 posts, read 3,518,602 times
Reputation: 4848
Move or continue to be miserable. Leaving my hometown was the best decision I ever made.

Your environment is very important when it comes to finding love.

Sometimes you have to move to a place where there is more action and more acceptance.
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Old 07-24-2014, 05:26 PM
 
Location: Lebanon, OH
5,858 posts, read 6,280,212 times
Reputation: 12426
Move somewhere new, New York, New Jersey, New England.
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