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Old 02-28-2017, 01:26 PM
 
663 posts, read 770,926 times
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OP I only read the 1st page of this thread so I don't know if others have you informed you or not but calling a person dear, hon, sweetie, baby, & darling are all terms of endearment in which most people know & there's nothing offensive about it.
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Old 02-28-2017, 09:25 PM
 
114 posts, read 88,685 times
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Kiddos definitely seems like a regional term. I heard it a lot back in eastern PA, referring to kids, as well as to me and my brothers when I was a young child. And it seemed like my uncle even called me kiddo when I was a teenager. But I didn't mind since I heard the name so much and just got used to it.
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Old 02-28-2017, 10:38 PM
 
Location: Colorado
1,022 posts, read 516,218 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DubbleT View Post
Cultural as in very generally north/south divide.
Maybe culturally business wise also because very formal offices in both places do not use the more casual forms of address, but in less formal situations it's perfectly acceptable in the south.
I probably would be surprised if I'm meeting the college dean, the bank president, or my high priced lawyer for the first time and I'm addressed as sweetie. OTOH if I go to the doctors office, my insurance agent, the parent teacher conference and any and all retail or causal dining establishments I pretty much expect that someone there will address me as such, regardless of our respective ages, genders, or social class.
Thanks for the clarification, as there were many ways to interpret cultural.

I have never lived in the south, so I appreciate your input. I have since I was a teen worked in professional (fortune 500) co's, though in IT, so in casual depts. Like I said, I can't even fathom. I have seen it of course in diners, etc. At the drs, or the insurance agent? Wow. All I can say is they would not have my business for long. I have a dear friend who is a PhD tenured professor in the south at a major college. She told me she gets referred to as 'Miss Smith' instead of Dr Smith, though the male professors apparently do not have to deal with that. She finds it extraordinarily offensive.

Obviously a lot of people disagree with me & everyone is free to behave as they wish. I will only hope that this discussion has opened some eyes to the fact that MANY women find these terms extremely offensive. TBH, I've never met one that didn't, who I've had this convo with. From 20 yo's to 75 yo's, I don't know 1 woman, including some in the south, who are not offended. So, yeah, you can think people offend too easily or you can consider that whether you agree or disagree, if you respect the person you're dealing with, you may not want to offend them. It's really up to you (generic you, not Dubble).
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Old 02-28-2017, 10:49 PM
 
Location: Colorado
1,022 posts, read 516,218 times
Reputation: 2076
Quote:
Originally Posted by Curmudgeon View Post
There's a time and a place for everything, societal differences and other worse things to fret about than familiar terms of address, don't you think?





Come on, admit it. It really DOES bother you and IS sweat off your back, doesn't/isn't it, Darlin'?

"Disrespecting" is horribly over-used!
Hi Sweetie Boy or are you a honey-girl? I'm guessing you're a boy.

If I didn't think it was important, I wouldn't be wasting my time writing about it.

Are there worse things to "fret" about? Sure, I can name a few off the top of my head. However, this one is important to many women, as it impacts US society as a whole & the way the female gender is viewed & treated. So, just b/c there are more important concerns in life, doesn't make this one unimportant. It's obviously important to you or you wouldn't be writing about it.

The issue bothers me, yes. What each individual decides to do, doesn't bother me. Since we don't have a relationship, IDGAF what you do & I learned long ago that I can't change other people. If I paid someone who called me honey or sweetie, I'd fire them, it's really that simple. If someone called me those names in a workplace, I'd file a complaint with HR. So I guess if those of us who care, fire enough people who use terms we find offensive, then maybe they'll get the message.

LOL, too bad more people don't speak up when they're disrespected. I rec'd a number of private notes of support about this very thread, but people are afraid to speak up & disagree with the majority. It's a shame really.
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Old 03-01-2017, 04:23 AM
 
18,350 posts, read 23,519,650 times
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nothing wrong with hon or dear,,

i get it all the time,,

i have to catch myself calling the ladies 'darlin


the older ladies in maine,,,,will use dear (pronounced deeyah)


and i still get a hey handsome...by sober women,(in stores),,,and that makes my day



its better than calling each other skanks, or dickweeds



i dont use this at work,,,i know the young ladies are super sensitive about this stuff....
i just give them a pat on the butt and not say a word
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Old 03-01-2017, 07:38 AM
 
20,900 posts, read 39,174,026 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IndyDancer View Post
Do guys call each other "hon" and "sweetie"? If not, why not, if it's clearly so inoffensive?
My friendly term of reference to other males is 'bud' as in "Thanks, Bud," and again, that's in casual situations like the drive-thru or a cashier or a passing reference on the street or for serving me a bratwurst at the ballpark. I would never use the term at my place of employment. "Hon" is reserved for opposite sex. I see lots of women calling each other 'girl' which I'd never do, just as I'd never call another guy "hon."

Safe to say there are many opinions on the matter. As always it's best to err on the side of discretion or common sense, i.e., if you think using such a casual term may not be appropriate then just play it straight and stick with 'sir' or 'miss' or just a straight 'thank you' and leave the sir/bud/son/miss/hon/girl out of it entirely.

I don't see it as a big deal unless the speaker's intent is to belittle or part of some dubious motive.
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Old 03-01-2017, 08:41 AM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 31,475,774 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IndyDancer View Post
Do guys call each other "hon" and "sweetie"? If not, why not, if it's clearly so inoffensive?
I just call most of them "Sonny" or Youngster!"
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Old 03-01-2017, 08:45 AM
 
Location: Glasgow Scotland
15,265 posts, read 12,569,845 times
Reputation: 22096
Quote:
Originally Posted by klotone View Post
Hi... just found this interesting discussion and I wanted to add my 2 cents.

This never happened when I was younger, but now, being over 60, I find that younger women (cashiers, waitresses, etc.) sometimes call me sweetie or hon. It sounds very demeaning to me. Not only that, but these people don't know me. Since they don't call younger people these pet names, when they do this, it's a sudden reminder that I'm getting older. It's bad enough in this society for a woman to get older, so they certainly don't need a reminder of this. Most of the time, I correct these people, because I feel it's not only insulting but very unprofessional. I'd never call a stranger any type of familiar name!

Any advice on how to handle this without being hostile? Sometimes I say politely please don't call me hon, I prefer ma'am (or my name).... Any other ideas?
couldnt give a monkeys, as long as its not Auld Yin..
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Old 03-01-2017, 08:50 AM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 31,475,774 times
Reputation: 29071
Quote:
Originally Posted by MsMetal View Post
Hi Sweetie Boy or are you a honey-girl? I'm guessing you're a boy.

If I didn't think it was important, I wouldn't be wasting my time writing about it.

Are there worse things to "fret" about? Sure, I can name a few off the top of my head. However, this one is important to many women, as it impacts US society as a whole & the way the female gender is viewed & treated. So, just b/c there are more important concerns in life, doesn't make this one unimportant. It's obviously important to you or you wouldn't be writing about it.

The issue bothers me, yes. What each individual decides to do, doesn't bother me. Since we don't have a relationship, IDGAF what you do & I learned long ago that I can't change other people. If I paid someone who called me honey or sweetie, I'd fire them, it's really that simple. If someone called me those names in a workplace, I'd file a complaint with HR. So I guess if those of us who care, fire enough people who use terms we find offensive, then maybe they'll get the message.

LOL, too bad more people don't speak up when they're disrespected. I rec'd a number of private notes of support about this very thread, but people are afraid to speak up & disagree with the majority. It's a shame really.
Actually, M'Dear, I'm an elderly man who's been around long enough to have ascertained that all too many look for things to be offended by. To my mind that's no way to live but if for some strange, unbeknownst reason it makes them feel better they can certainly have at it. As for me, I much prefer to find things to smile about. It's ever so much more pleasant.

As always, just one man's opinion.

Last edited by Curmudgeon; 03-01-2017 at 09:33 AM..
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Old 03-01-2017, 12:14 PM
 
5,112 posts, read 2,749,174 times
Reputation: 9409
This forum continues to amaze me... What I have learned.

People hate hugs, handshakes, jokes, speeding, and marriages.

People are mortified when a man wants to take a picture with the girl after 2 dates. All other posters call him a wierdo for wanting a pic or to have them meet their kids. Yet sex after 2 dates if mutual attraction is highly encouraged. Heck even sex in the rear end is probably acceptable to most posters if the scenario is right. yet random couple pictures, hell no!

People here would rather be honked and flipped the bird in traffic rather than a random act of kindness or being called Hun or bud.
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