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Old 07-26-2014, 12:11 AM
 
12,859 posts, read 6,167,132 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stava View Post
I don't like "sweetheart" either. That's something you say to a child. It makes me feel diminished as a person.
Husbands and wives often call each other "sweetheart". Years ago (during my grandparents' time) people referred to their spouses or SOs as "my sweetheart".
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Old 07-26-2014, 01:03 AM
 
Location: Temporarily, in Limerick
2,898 posts, read 5,182,223 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by daylux View Post
I like it. Makes me feel like they are a warm person to use endearments with strangers.
I completely agree. I'm over 40 & like when anyone calls me honey or dear or sweetheart & it's never bothered me, even at work. I accept it as a friendly gesture. In Atlanta, the only term of endearment I had to get used to was baby doll... that sounded a bit too intimate to me (still does), but I realize it was a regional term with the people I knew & it was only said by much older men (meaning, it was probably a generation term for them), so I didn't fuss about it.

I also recognize that the OP might be referring to people who use it with a condescending tone. I've had a few younger girls call me ma'am with a snideness. I've just said 'thank you, ma'am' back to them, minus the condescending tone. It's not my style to be insulting, even if another is, as I don't let others ruin my moment, let alone day. And, I must admit that once in a meeting, a 20-something engineer called me toots rather loudly to embarrass me... I was the only woman in my dept & he was obviously trying to put me in the place he felt all women should be, subservient to him... I did nicely remind him that I had a name & wasn't available to be spoken to in such a manner. He never did it again.

Even though I don't mind it, I don't call others by any terms of endearment. Sometimes I'll say honey to a little girl, if I don't know her name. But, I'm always afraid someone might take it in a condescending way. And, I was raised to say ma'am or sir to elders & still do... I'm afraid my mum will know by ESP if I don't & call me on my cell to scold me.

To the OP, if it's a situation with the same person you see on a regular basis, perhaps next time you can sweetly state, 'I prefer that you call me xxx'. This way, they won't be embarrassed & probably won't call you hon again... although, keep in mind, as others have said, some people just say it out of habit to everyone.

I say, take it as a compliment. I think they're showing you they like you, even though they don't know you. That's very nice, yeah? Good luck!
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Old 07-26-2014, 02:18 AM
 
Location: White House, TN
5,555 posts, read 3,901,670 times
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I'm 21 and like it as well. Makes them seem like a warm person.
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Old 07-26-2014, 02:21 AM
 
5,818 posts, read 5,151,688 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stava View Post
I HATE when random people call me "hon". Like a cashier, for example. I find it so demeaning. I understand that I'm in my late twenties and I probably look a couple years younger than that even, but being called "hon" makes me feel like I'm twelve.

Anybody with me?
Oh, I so completely agree with you!!!!!! This is something that seriously makes me angry.

When my male mechanic, aged about 25, called me "dear" (I'm nearly 60 and female) that was the last straw. I looked at him and said in my best teacher voice, "excuse me?". His reply? "Huh? . . ." What a lunkhead.

For those of you who say you don't mind it: would it seriously not bother you if a male who is younger than you, who you don't know and are interacting with on a professional level, called you - a female - "hon" or "dear"? I simply can't imagine anyone thinking that's o.k.! Because it absolutely is NOT!!!!!

We're not talking here about the stereotype of a sweet old waitress called Flo calling everyone "hon" or "dear".

And I don't understand those of you who get upset about "ma'am". It is a respectful term.

In an ideal world everyone younger than I am would call me "ma'am" unless they know me well, and only people who love me would call me "hon" or "dear". And honestly, people who love me know better than to call me "hon".
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Old 07-26-2014, 02:24 AM
 
2,320 posts, read 2,083,618 times
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I can't stand it!!!
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Old 07-26-2014, 03:10 AM
 
12,859 posts, read 6,167,132 times
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For those of you who say you don't mind it: would it seriously not bother you if a male who is younger than you, who you don't know and are interacting with on a professional level, called you - a female - "hon" or "dear"? I simply can't imagine anyone thinking that's o.k.! Because it absolutely is NOT!!!!!
-----------------
^See post #5 in this thread
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Old 07-26-2014, 03:18 AM
 
35,121 posts, read 40,004,782 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stava View Post
I HATE when random people call me "hon". Like a cashier, for example. I find it so demeaning. I understand that I'm in my late twenties and I probably look a couple years younger than that even, but being called "hon" makes me feel like I'm twelve.

Anybody with me?
Quote:
Originally Posted by stava View Post
I don't like "sweetheart" either. That's something you say to a child. It makes me feel diminished as a person.
Quote:
Originally Posted by stava View Post
Yeah, it is. My father used to call me sweetheart all the time.


If this is the worst thing that has happened to you in the last week or so I would say you are having a pretty good week.

On the other hand your "youthful looks" are probably the reason the situation continues to happen....
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Old 07-26-2014, 03:20 AM
 
35,121 posts, read 40,004,782 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BOS2IAD View Post
For those of you who say you don't mind it: would it seriously not bother you if a male who is younger than you, who you don't know and are interacting with on a professional level, called you - a female - "hon" or "dear"? I simply can't imagine anyone thinking that's o.k.! Because it absolutely is NOT!!!!!
-----------------
^See post #5 in this thread

Seriously?

Who the hades cares, there are many less trivial things to get upset over throughout one's day let alone let it bother you so much that it affects and controls your entire mood.
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Old 07-26-2014, 03:43 AM
 
9,906 posts, read 9,277,963 times
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I don't mind and I even say thank you honey to cashiers. Just wait about 20 years when you have children and their friends call you Mrs. So&So and you look around for your mother-in-law. Or even later down the road when you are asked if you get the senior citizen discount. Hon will just be a fond memory then.
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Old 07-26-2014, 05:57 AM
 
Location: Dallas
5,599 posts, read 4,906,169 times
Reputation: 16445
I don't mind any terms of endearment as long as they are spoken with a friendly attitude and aren't meant to be condescending. What is acceptable to one can be offensive to another.

A little off-topic, but when I was a kid there was a department store that hired mostly older women as salespeople. They would call young girls "girly" usually when they didn't want us touching anything.... my sister and I absolutely hated that name, and I still do to this day. Thank goodness it is hardly used, if ever, nowadays.
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