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Old 12-20-2007, 12:19 PM
 
13,093 posts, read 13,696,928 times
Reputation: 9157

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I need some impartial input on this. Grown son age 20, steady girlfriend of 2 years. He wants to invite her over for holiday meal to share with his dad, stepmom of 5 years, brothers and stepbrothers. He discusses it with his girlfriend, they both feel happy about it. I am thrilled with it. (I live in another state and he talked to me about his joy at the prospect.)

The only formality left is to mention to his dad he will be bringing this lovely young lady to Thanksgiving dinner. Well, this totally shocked me...his dad said NO! The stepmom nixed the idea, said it would infringe on their "family time" alone as a family, i.e. the "real family" of brothers, step-brothers, dad and step-mom. I was appalled. And angry. My son was hurt and disappointed.

So what is your take on a parent refusing to have son age 20 bring girlfriend over for holiday meal? Girl had already met the family by the way. They are both university students in different towns. She would otherwise be spending holiday with a girlfriend, her family is in a different country.
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Old 12-20-2007, 12:26 PM
 
Location: Lexington, MA
250 posts, read 849,485 times
Reputation: 487
I think the kid should accept the dad's decision and spend the hollerday the way he sees fit... with the girlfriend, if that's what he wants.
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Old 12-20-2007, 12:28 PM
 
Location: In the sunshine on a ship with a plank
3,413 posts, read 8,001,597 times
Reputation: 2219
I agree- if his girlfriend's not welcome, he should not go either. Unbelieveable!
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Old 12-20-2007, 12:29 PM
 
Location: Branson, Missouri
7,283 posts, read 17,254,200 times
Reputation: 3759
OMG, your poor son.
Are they close enough to where they can drive to visit you?
If not, if I were your son, I would decline dinner with dad and stepmom and have my own celebration but as I'm typing this part, I'm hoping he's close enough to you (a short drive) to visit.
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Old 12-20-2007, 12:32 PM
 
Location: huh?
3,099 posts, read 2,036,588 times
Reputation: 499
WAIT A MINUTE! isnt thanksgiving over?
are you canadian?
I KNEW IT!!!
(whenever i hear your voice in my head whilst reading your posts there are many eh/ayes thrown aboot)
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Old 12-20-2007, 12:33 PM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
17,152 posts, read 34,658,063 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DiamondD View Post
The only formality left is to mention to his dad he will be bringing this lovely young lady to Thanksgiving dinner.
Don't you mean Christmas dinner?

Anyway, I disagree with his stepmom's decision. Christmas is all about Jesus and love for all humanity, and that girlfriend should be more than welcome to sit at their table for that holiday meal. I think that if your son decided to spend his Christmas dinner with his girlfriend of two years and not his dad, I would back him on that one. Has the stepmom been this unreasonable before? Does she dislike the girlfriend? And I suspect that she made this decision without consulting his dad, which is also wrong.
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Old 12-20-2007, 12:37 PM
 
165 posts, read 601,399 times
Reputation: 150
Quote:
Originally Posted by DiamondD View Post
I need some impartial input on this. Grown son age 20, steady girlfriend of 2 years. He wants to invite her over for holiday meal to share with his dad, stepmom of 5 years, brothers and stepbrothers. He discusses it with his girlfriend, they both feel happy about it. I am thrilled with it. (I live in another state and he talked to me about his joy at the prospect.)

The only formality left is to mention to his dad he will be bringing this lovely young lady to Thanksgiving dinner. Well, this totally shocked me...his dad said NO! The stepmom nixed the idea, said it would infringe on their "family time" alone as a family, i.e. the "real family" of brothers, step-brothers, dad and step-mom. I was appalled. And angry. My son was hurt and disappointed.

So what is your take on a parent refusing to have son age 20 bring girlfriend over for holiday meal? Girl had already met the family by the way. They are both university students in different towns. She would otherwise be spending holiday with a girlfriend, her family is in a different country.
Do you mean Christmas instead of Thanksgiving?

Sad, he can really just accept it. Trying to coerce or convince the dad will only create an uncomfortable situation if admittance is gained.

Hopefully another invitation can be found or he can think of something else to do together.

My family has always been welcome to non-family members at the holidays... to exclude someone that has no family in this country is very cold.
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Old 12-20-2007, 12:40 PM
 
165 posts, read 601,399 times
Reputation: 150
Quote:
Originally Posted by nicolepsy View Post
WAIT A MINUTE! isnt thanksgiving over?
are you canadian?
I KNEW IT!!!
(whenever i hear your voice in my head whilst reading your posts there are many eh/ayes thrown aboot)
That would be planning wayyy ahead, isn't Canadian Thanksgiving in October?
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Old 12-20-2007, 12:42 PM
 
Location: huh?
3,099 posts, read 2,036,588 times
Reputation: 499
i thought canadian thanksgiving was around christmas time?
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Old 12-20-2007, 01:01 PM
 
165 posts, read 601,399 times
Reputation: 150
OK, I checked Wikipedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thanksgiving_(Canada)
It says second Monday of October.
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