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Hey everyone, I have this friend (well she's my best friend, I think). Let's just call her A. I feel like she is self centered and kind of mean. She is a perfectionist and usually does what's best for her, it's not big things but little things that happen all the time. She is really mean and judging to people behind their backs and she pretty much hates everyone except me, I don't know if that's because she has no other friends. She tells me I am her best friend ever and she's never had a better friend than me. She has it sort of rough, she lives an apartment and her parents are divorced. Money can be an issue I feel like, but not for everything. She's getting this $80 ear piercing in a couple days and she pretty much has A TON of high end makeup. Honestly, she doesn't really have any other friends than me and I have lots of friends. I don't know if she's using me. We have been friends for around 3 years and I always get her random gifts and fun things like that. She sometimes gets me gifts too, but I feel like mine have lots of effort and hers sometimes don't, but that could be the money thing. Anyway, she does little things like cancels plans last minute with no real reason and I always find that she does nothing but shops or watches netflix instead of coming over, always takes the best things or things like that. She doesn't really respect my opinion and that hurts. Yesterday we went tubing. The boat was going really fast and she flew off, and I knew that she hates the gross water so I let go and was in with her even though it was really sort of gross. Next time we go, she takes up the whole tube and I know I'm about to go flying off, and I say "come on fall of with me" and then I let go and she doesn't let go and just instead did what was best for her when just minutes before I flew off for her. She was like sorry I was so scared and didn't want to die, when this actual happens all the time. She never texts me back or invites me anywhere. She says she hates texting, but if I was really her best friend she would take time out of her not so busy schedule and text me back. She is like always on her phone and I know she gets them. But my recent problem is that I got invited to go whitewater rafting in the gorgeous West Virginia and Pennsylvania. I asked my parents if A could come and they said they would ask. And so they did, and A's mom sounded happy, I was so excited! But then they called back and said she couldn't come because it was the day before volleyball tryouts and she had to work (she isn't actually employed, just friends asked if she could wash dishes for a couple hours) and so she said no. I understood, but was still really upset because she told me she really wanted to go and that she was so excited, and I did a lot of work to try to find out if she could come. She told me I should still go, but I don't know of this is because she ACTUALLY cares or just wants me to have a bad tryout for volleyball (because I am better, not trying to sound mean, I just have more experience) I then found out that volleyball tryouts were changed, and I called her immediately. She still said no because she wants to earn money at "work." I would understand but I feel like this is just another selfish act, I'm pretty sure it's just because she wants to buy these boots. It was obvious that I was crying because she always disappoints me and I got so excited AGAIN. She just asked if I was okay and I said yes, but nothing really happened. I'm nervous about this year, I'm going into a small charter inside the school, while she is going to normal school. She says she wants to start looking better and all that, and I think that means she is going to start being a try hard. Thoughts? Sorry it's a lot, I didn't include everything but I want to know what I should do.
PLEASE HELP!!!! Thank you(:
I feel like she is self centered and kind of mean.
She usually does what's best for her.
She is really mean and judging to people behind their backs and she pretty much hates everyone except me.
She has no other friends.
She does little things like cancels plans last minute with no real reason and I always find that she does nothing but shops or watches netflix instead of coming over.
She always takes the best things or things like that.
She doesn't really respect my opinion and that hurts.
She never texts me back or invites me anywhere.
Time for new friends. You don't have to dump her, but you know her for what she is -- if you want friends who support you, care for you, enjoy spending time with you, are interested in you and your life and have your best interests at heart, then you are barking up the wrong tree. This one needs to be moved out of "best friend" category and into the "casual friend" category, where you enjoy spending time with her on YOUR terms, but get your emotional support from others.
You say you have other friends, try spending more time around them. I am sure someone else in your circle will be a better friend to you, the person you describe sounds kind of fake.
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