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A friend of mine wants to be more than friends.But after seeing how he is after drinking, that will never happen. I've never seen him drunk. He lives in my nabe. We recently went out to a festival. When it was over we went out to a cafe. He was nice and normal until he started drinking. He said a lot of things to me that were none of his business and he sounded very bitter and insecure. He said I should "stick to people in my own (social) class." He's blue collar and I'm white collar. I've recently sold property that belonged to mr and sort of had a nice windfall. He knows about this. That has never been an issue in our friendship until now. He threw in Donald Trump in the discussion, telling me that "my chances of landing someone in the upper classes are very slim". I told him I'm not looking for billionaires who chase 20 yr old girls. We were sitting in this cafe and he was really trying hard to incite an argument as he knows I'm a bit hot tempered sometimes. I refused to get drawn into the fight. I kept icy cool. He's not my father or brother so he's got no business telling me what I can't do. Whatever chance he had of being more than friends is now gone. He put his foot in his mouth when he got drunk and criticized me for wanting to move up in the world. Why does it bother him so? Why couldn't he just mind his business and be supportive of me?
My friend came off as very judgmental and negative. Now I don't even want to hang out as friends! He really turned me off.
Besides, if I WAS looking to get involved with Type A "successful" 6 figure or over guys, it's none of his business - and he would NEVER know about it. I never said I wasn't. It's just not a topic of discussion I would ever have with this "friend". It serves no purpose.
My takeaway was...he was drunk, and the ugly came out.
For whatever reasons I'm still often naive around drunks, expecting them to still maintain decorum and rationality and just be verbose and silly.
It rarely happens. The ugly comes out. Consider it a big bullet dodged. Sorry it happened.
Yep. In vino veritas. (Latin; in wine you find truth). Want to find out what someone really thinks, go out drinking. They will spill the beans, baby....
You know what? I had 3 straight cognacs with coffee on the side. I also ate before. I was sober as a nun. He had 2 Long Island Ice teas and man.....he was trashed. He turned into someone else. He just can't drink. lol
Better to find out now before the friendship gets established.
Yeah... true. I don't like being berated by someone who can't handle his liquor. And in a public place. I never get upset in public and make a scene. I WAIT TILL WE OUT OF THE PUBLIC EYE. Then I say whatever needs to be said. I don't like people who make scenes in public. Lacks class.
He seemed disappointed that he couldn't get me to lose it in the restaurant.LOL. I'm slightly hot tempered but I know when to put a lid on it and keep cool. This was one of those times.
Cut him some slack. You decided to tell him about your financial business, then get upset when he breaks some imaginary boundaries. He's your neighbor and friend, so keep the peace and don't tell him anything you don't want to discuss.
I really think his motivation was based on envy and insecurity....the liquor just brought it to the surface.
Sometimes people will get you upset and you ask yourself "Why did I let myself get upset by something that someone who is so insignificant said?"
The best thing to do is distant yourself from him. If he asks you why-tell him. And yeah, it is obvious that he is very insecure and can't hold his liquor-two VERY negative attributes.
Cat
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Whatever chance he had of being more than friends is now gone. He put his foot in his mouth when he got drunk and criticized me for wanting to move up in the world. Why does it bother him so? Why couldn't he just mind his business and be supportive of me?
Yep. In vino veritas. (Latin; in wine you find truth). Want to find out what someone really thinks, go out drinking. They will spill the beans, baby....
He just can't drink.
