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Old 08-08-2014, 08:39 PM
 
2,950 posts, read 1,533,923 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wayr2go View Post
John13 - yes, I understand many people won't have 'friends' and that changes the equation and many others may not have grown up in a 'happy family' environment making things difficult in the long run.

Has anyone faced challenges surrounding this issue where their partner (married or otherwise) has reflected more interest in their friends -regular weekly meetings, trying to pitch outings with them etc.? While friendships require efforts for them to stay intact, I've come across a few individuals (females) who've tended to be more about 'doing things with friends' and less about these close relationships that I mention including the romantic partner relationship that existed. What was/would be your approach to that ?
I would not like it or put up with it. In fact, I would not make friends with anyone who put me before their family.
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Old 08-09-2014, 05:17 AM
 
Location: Greenbelt, MD
8,938 posts, read 6,473,266 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by elyn02 View Post
I would not like it or put up with it. In fact, I would not make friends with anyone who put me before their family.
I do not understand this and can't relate.
Even if the person you are seeing or a friend had an abusive upbringing?

Every situation is different. I can relate how and the reason why someone would do that.
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Old 08-09-2014, 05:43 AM
 
Location: Europe
2,730 posts, read 2,075,976 times
Reputation: 4158
I value my all relationships
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Old 08-09-2014, 09:54 AM
 
2,950 posts, read 1,533,923 times
Reputation: 3129
Quote:
Originally Posted by John13 View Post
I do not understand this and can't relate.
Even if the person you are seeing or a friend had an abusive upbringing?

Every situation is different. I can relate how and the reason why someone would do that.
I can see where you are coming from.

If a person comes from an abusive family, I would like to see that they are protecting themselves from the abuse and are trying to have good, meaningful relationships. That to me would show that they care for themselves.

I moved away from my abusive family and it was very difficult for me to hear other people say "family first." It was lonely at times. But I did not give up and eventually I found friends who did not say this to me, they were welcoming. Their families were independent enough to allow friendships and I was independent enough to have formed a support network so I didn't have to completely rely on them.

Keep in mind that some families are large enough that they really don't need to go outside for companionship.

ETA - when I say I can't form relationships with people who don't care for their families, I am talking about parents who chose to have a family but whose priorities are elsewhere.
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