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Just a thought that re-occurred to me very recently and while its not new, it is definitely something I think of often.
We all have friends, acquaintances, family relations (beyond immediate family members) etc. that we cherish and value. What I'm curious to hear from others is their thoughts and feelings about how they value these different relationships. Lets say, your parents have you and then they have your siblings (or you come in later than your siblings) and then as you grow up you make friends in all sorts of social settings and then you enter the workforce and make acquaintances, maybe a few friends too. Ofcourse, along the way you kiss a few frogs/princesses and ultimately many would settle down with that one loved one that you hope to spend the rest of your life with.
Personally, my family (immediate family-parents/siblings) ranks well above every other relationship that I have in life and that is one thing that is non-negotiable as I go around establishing other relations in life. Simply put, nobody comes before immediate family (unless its a married partner) in my perspective.
I'm curious to see how others see this aspect of their lives (and specifically females)
Just a thought that re-occurred to me very recently and while its not new, it is definitely something I think of often.
We all have friends, acquaintances, family relations (beyond immediate family members) etc. that we cherish and value. What I'm curious to hear from others is their thoughts and feelings about how they value these different relationships. Lets say, your parents have you and then they have your siblings (or you come in later than your siblings) and then as you grow up you make friends in all sorts of social settings and then you enter the workforce and make acquaintances, maybe a few friends too. Ofcourse, along the way you kiss a few frogs/princesses and ultimately many would settle down with that one loved one that you hope to spend the rest of your life with.
Personally, my family (immediate family-parents/siblings) ranks well above every other relationship that I have in life and that is one thing that is non-negotiable as I go around establishing other relations in life. Simply put, nobody comes before immediate family (unless its a married partner) in my perspective.
I'm curious to see how others see this aspect of their lives (and specifically females)
Many people do not have friends. My brother told me he doesn't have any but he does have a steady GF.
Other threads mention that fact too.
As to the rest of your post - also, don't assume everyone grew up in a happy home. I sure didn't and had no problem putting others in front of them, not that there were that many to begin with.
My parents are dead, brother lives far away fromo me and I may not ever see him again (very little contact), and I barely keep up with 2 cousins. That leaves the 6 people I call friends.
Most people put their original family above all others. But some folks find themselves in situations where the original family doesn't deserve to be a priority and so they make new families among the relationships they develop along the way.
But some folks find themselves in situations where the original family doesn't deserve to be a priority and so they make new families among the relationships they develop along the way.
^This.
Parents are dead and I have no siblings, rest of family is for the most part geographically distant & emotionally estranged.
I value what relationships-of-choice exist in my life now, almost all of which are with non-relatives.
John13 - yes, I understand many people won't have 'friends' and that changes the equation and many others may not have grown up in a 'happy family' environment making things difficult in the long run.
Has anyone faced challenges surrounding this issue where their partner (married or otherwise) has reflected more interest in their friends -regular weekly meetings, trying to pitch outings with them etc.? While friendships require efforts for them to stay intact, I've come across a few individuals (females) who've tended to be more about 'doing things with friends' and less about these close relationships that I mention including the romantic partner relationship that existed. What was/would be your approach to that ?
John13 - yes, I understand many people won't have 'friends' and that changes the equation and many others may not have grown up in a 'happy family' environment making things difficult in the long run.
Has anyone faced challenges surrounding this issue where their partner (married or otherwise) has reflected more interest in their friends -regular weekly meetings, trying to pitch outings with them etc.? While friendships require efforts for them to stay intact, I've come across a few individuals (females) who've tended to be more about 'doing things with friends' and less about these close relationships that I mention including the romantic partner relationship that existed. What was/would be your approach to that ?
My first husband preferred to go out drinking with his friends over having a family life....I divorced him.
Real life situation, names left out to protect innocent : Some people never had siblings, didn't get married early, and have had to go scrounging for companionship. Then on the weekends when they were young a lot of people would post the invisible sign, "Family in Progress, Keep Out." This gets lonely for those who are not so blessed with instant companions or who do not get along with their own families. Then when they got married they couldn't have kids. Again a door shuts - less in common with other married people. The concept of family first gets to be a sore point with those on the outs.
I do, however, understand the situation when one has a significant other and sees his friends less frequently. I think this is natural. It hurts when you are losing a friend's companionship but then you get to meet other folks (if you want to) who might suit you even better than the old friend in likes/dislikes, preferred activities, etc. I got along best with an SO who made me his best friend. A previous man I had seen years before that had wanted more balance in his social life and wanted a more independent woman. That wasn't me, frankly.
Last edited by hojobojo; 08-08-2014 at 09:06 AM..
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