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Old 08-07-2014, 10:25 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
1,818 posts, read 2,182,890 times
Reputation: 2772

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For the life of me I do not understand those people who hate happiness, or hate happy people. It's like they want to kill or destroy the life in another person. They reduce everything to "facts" that can be quantified and controlled. They annihilate spontaneity and joy.

Is this fear? Is it a matter of wanting to control EVERYTHING so as to never LOSE control? Is it a terror of being vulnerable? Or do these people hate happiness because they don't want to know what they, themselves, don't have?

I have a relative who, when she's in the presence of someone who's happy, will say something like, "God I just want to punch her in the face". Why have such an aversion towards joy?
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Old 08-07-2014, 10:39 PM
 
10,802 posts, read 8,012,763 times
Reputation: 16972
Quote:
Originally Posted by stava View Post
Is this fear? Is it a matter of wanting to control EVERYTHING so as to never LOSE control? Is it a terror of being vulnerable? Or do these people hate happiness because they don't want to know what they, themselves, don't have?

I have a relative who, when she's in the presence of someone who's happy, will say something like, "God I just want to punch her in the face". Why have such an aversion towards joy?
Have you asked her?
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Old 08-07-2014, 10:47 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
1,818 posts, read 2,182,890 times
Reputation: 2772
Quote:
Originally Posted by biscuitmom View Post
Have you asked her?
She's not the type to talk truth. Everything is sarcasm or some other strategy of avoidance.
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Old 08-07-2014, 11:05 PM
 
7,356 posts, read 13,173,380 times
Reputation: 8906
Their aversion is simply based on their own unhappiness. Why are they unhappy? That's really not for you to figure out and why would you want to?
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Old 08-07-2014, 11:31 PM
 
10,802 posts, read 8,012,763 times
Reputation: 16972
Quote:
Originally Posted by stava View Post
She's not the type to talk truth. Everything is sarcasm or some other strategy of avoidance.
Why do you choose to stay and listen to her?
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Old 08-08-2014, 05:35 AM
 
Location: St. Mary's County, Maryland
165 posts, read 160,527 times
Reputation: 315
She may feel this way because somewhere in her life she received a lesson that it was cool to appear disaffected, bored or sophisticated. She could have possibly learned this tactic in school or in the presence of other people who looked down their noses at her during a time in her life when she was spontaneous. Many people love to appear "seasoned" and some look upon those that are more ebullient as naive or socially awkward.

She may also feel cheated that she "can't have" what the other person has - - maybe more money, more security in some other aspect, a less complicated life, etc.

Anyhow, the less you worry about it the better it may go for you. It is, after all, her burden.
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Old 08-08-2014, 06:08 AM
 
Location: Southwestern, USA
15,126 posts, read 11,998,568 times
Reputation: 16543
Great posts.
I don't want to spend time on people like this, suffice it to say,
they are so unhappy in themselves...move away as you would
a person pulling you down in the water, I say.
(only bec the chances of you helping them lighten up is slim, from my experience, I mean.)
Ick.
The psychology people could answer better, maybe.

Misery likes company.
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Old 08-08-2014, 06:11 AM
 
Location: Where the sun likes to shine!!
20,517 posts, read 26,301,485 times
Reputation: 88526
Quote:
Originally Posted by stava View Post
For the life of me I do not understand those people who hate happiness, or hate happy people. It's like they want to kill or destroy the life in another person. They reduce everything to "facts" that can be quantified and controlled. They annihilate spontaneity and joy.

Is this fear? Is it a matter of wanting to control EVERYTHING so as to never LOSE control? Is it a terror of being vulnerable? Or do these people hate happiness because they don't want to know what they, themselves, don't have?

I have a relative who, when she's in the presence of someone who's happy, will say something like, "God I just want to punch her in the face". Why have such an aversion towards joy?

Sounds like someone who is jealous and also unhappy. I do my best to stay away from people like that. I have known people who get excited when something bad happens to someone else. Those kinds of people are sick, IMO.
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Old 08-08-2014, 08:55 AM
 
1,915 posts, read 3,334,934 times
Reputation: 3024
Quote:
Originally Posted by stava View Post
I have a relative who, when she's in the presence of someone who's happy, will say something like, "God I just want to punch her in the face". Why have such an aversion towards joy?
Sounds like this relative is miserable and negative kill joy. I stay away from people with that attitude! Next time she makes an inappropriate comment, slamming others ask her why she is so unhappy. Guarantee she'll stop!
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Old 08-08-2014, 09:19 AM
 
Location: NoVa
18,434 posts, read 29,390,516 times
Reputation: 19624
Because they do not have it.
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