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Old 08-09-2014, 09:38 AM
 
167 posts, read 310,114 times
Reputation: 149

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Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
I just want everyone to shut the front door*, do their work, and be professional.

But now there are studies that show gossip bonds the workplace, yadda yadda.

Ugh.
No, gossip doesn't help bond colleagues. Gossip is known to help people bond in general. Of course gossip shouldn't be used in the workplace.
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Old 08-09-2014, 09:47 AM
 
4,978 posts, read 7,279,071 times
Reputation: 7907
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
I have seen it both ways, but done differenty.

Education definitely seems to be a hotbed for gossips. My only take on it is that gossip is social capital. It makes the gossiper feel like they are in a position of power to have everyone hanging on their every word. I can't explain the two-faced aspect of it, though, how they would be nice one moment then bring out the claws the next.

Having a company with a lot of young male employees, I don't see them gossip, but they do a lot of posturing. If they all end up in the break room, they do a lot of one-upmanship about stuff like how much they drank, how late they stayed somewhere, who won the soccer/softball game they played in or how much they spent on XX.
Equally as annoying...
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Old 08-09-2014, 09:57 AM
 
4,978 posts, read 7,279,071 times
Reputation: 7907
Quote:
Originally Posted by seain dublin View Post
You have no one to blame but yourself.

"and one of my colleagues was nice enough to invite me out with her and a few of her friends... I accepted the offer"

When do we learn? You already stated you have run into this same exact situation in the past, than you act shocked that it happened again.

Kind of like hitting yourself in the head with a hammer and being surprised it hurts the second time, just like it did the first time.

You politely decline these invitations. Yes, they will probably talk about you behind your back, but at least you won't subject yourself to this or be put in an uncomfortable position.

It's work, whether it is a school or an office. You're under no obligation to socialize with anyone outside of the building.

The definition of insanity is "doing the same thing over and over, yet expecting different results".
Um. No.

I was invited out on the premise that I'm getting to know my work colleagues, integrate myself into the office, play nice, show that I'm a team-player...

And I diagree with you being under no obligation to socialize with ppl outside of work. Especially when one is invited... If I dont go I think it reflects poorly on me...it indicates I have no interest in getting to know them, I have no interest in learning about them or my job..... so I think what u said is kind of ridiculous. Why should I have to assume that when invited to a social gathering outside of work that it'll be nothing but gossip?
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Old 08-09-2014, 10:37 AM
 
Location: UpstateNY
8,612 posts, read 8,269,031 times
Reputation: 7522
OP, welcome to the hen house.

So glad I chose a male dominant field. Couldn't stand going up to the hen house, er, office. Always felt like an outsider.
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Old 08-09-2014, 03:15 PM
 
Location: 500 miles from home
29,813 posts, read 16,506,677 times
Reputation: 22382
Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610 View Post
The behavior you have described is not limited to women.
I am in a traditionally male dominated profession and most of the men I know via work gossip more than any woman I have ever known.
They also spend twice the amount of time talking on the phone about absolutely nothing.

I'm sure they do talk about you when you are gone but you also talk about them when they are not around so this is a two way street for you.
I agree. Thread should be titled "People in the Workplace".

I've worked with both sexes; for both sexes and managed both. Women are no worse than men when it comes to water cooler gossip.
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Old 08-09-2014, 06:48 PM
 
16,992 posts, read 20,615,321 times
Reputation: 33961
Quote:
Originally Posted by OptimusPrime69 View Post
Um. No.

I was invited out on the premise that I'm getting to know my work colleagues, integrate myself into the office, play nice, show that I'm a team-player...

And I diagree with you being under no obligation to socialize with ppl outside of work. Especially when one is invited... If I dont go I think it reflects poorly on me...it indicates I have no interest in getting to know them, I have no interest in learning about them or my job..... so I think what u said is kind of ridiculous. Why should I have to assume that when invited to a social gathering outside of work that it'll be nothing but gossip?
Um. YES!

You clearly stated in your first post that you have run into this same problem before, so what do you do? You repeat the behavior that got you into the mix in the first place.

And you're under NO OBLIGATION to socialize with people outside of work. You can go out to eat during work hours occasionally if you feel that will help, but once the work day is through you can politely decline.

There are plenty of excuses, I have a family obligation, I have a dog that needs to be walked, I have a night class....you pick.

You learn about the job on the job, not sitting in some bar talking about people behind their backs after hours.

I get the feeling you enjoy the drama. So much for talking about women and gossip.

On a side note I had a job a few years ago where I avoided my boss and two colleagues(all men by the way) who did nothing but talk badly about others. Once I realized that was the deal was, I stopped eating with them. It was my lunch hour and I did with it as I pleased. I was pleasant and cordial and would shoot the breeze from time to time, but I wasn't going to take part in their lunch gossip fest.
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Old 08-10-2014, 07:15 AM
 
11,229 posts, read 8,370,172 times
Reputation: 20309
If you say something about someone in their absence to lift them up, make them look better, that's okay. If not, then it's gossip, which is hurtful.

No wonder they go out in groups. If one of them isn't present, they're the topic of the day. Yikes. I don't think I could handle it.
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Old 08-10-2014, 07:40 AM
 
24 posts, read 20,731 times
Reputation: 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by OptimusPrime69 View Post
Yup, I just sit there and listen....
As a brand new employee at this place, I dont feel it my place to question her relationship.
What I find strange is that women I have observed talking trash about other women in the office often times are their friends.... or at least act like their friends..

I'm just trying to figure out why I have encountered this so much. Work is already difficult enough...why complicate it with back-stabbing and gossip... and trash talking.

Every office I've worked at in education....has been like this. This "smile in your face" stuff, yet talking smack once you've left the room.

I can only imagine what they say about me... Makes me wonder what they say. They certainly have no problem talking about other people with me,.... so what's to say they dont talk crap about me once I'm out of the room?
You should work in the ER...around 0300-0400 or during down time when its not busy
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Old 08-10-2014, 07:55 AM
 
Location: USA
6,220 posts, read 5,335,827 times
Reputation: 10632
I have spent most of my working career in low wage occupations where gossiping and immaturity is the norm. From reading the forum I'm actually surprised to see it goes on in "serious" professional level occupations. People are going to be people regardless I suppose.
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Old 08-10-2014, 07:59 AM
 
5,574 posts, read 5,815,822 times
Reputation: 16489
Stop the presses ... people in the workplace gossip!

I agree with those who say that gender is irrelevant. Men gossip just as much as women.

Though I don't know if I consider what you're talking about as "gossip" per se. To me, gossip is more along the lines of "did you hear what's gong on with her and her husband?" or "I heard that she might be in danger of getting fired." Discussion of personal or private matters that do not involve the persons talking about it. I don't think of opinions of fashion choices to be gossip.

Sounds more like they're verbalizing opinions that they wouldn't otherwise share with the subject of their commentary. And can you imagine the ugly work environment if they did share their honesty to the subject's face? Things could be much worse.
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