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I want to start off by saying that I have absolutely no issue with women in the work place, however allow me to make an obersvation as a male....
I work in a pretty female dominated field... education.
Many women are teachers and administrators at the school I work at..
I have observed that the women I work with tend to gossip about other people all the time. And yet.. the people they gossip about and talk "smack" on... are the very people they laugh with... cry with... and act friendly totheir face, yet once they leave...I hear them talking crap about other women. .. "her nail polish looks ridiculous"..... "that top she's wearing is an interesting one" *rolls eyes
I recently started at a new school back in July....and one of my colleagues was nice enough to invite me out with her and a few of her friends... I accepted the offer to go out and while out all they did was talk smack about other women that they work with. I was floored. My colleague proceeded to call this woman (whom I took the place of...) a nasty b!t&h.... she's psycho...split-personality etc...
yet the very next day at work...they're sitting with eachother...talking and laughing and complimenting eachother on their hair.... like ummmm ok,
whats up with that? I actually find it tedious and rather annoying. The night before she's talking all this trash and 12 hours later they're best friends.
It makes me wanna roll my eyes and makes me think they're acting childish and just plain old immature. Because I know what she really feels and I see her being fake. I dont like fakeness.
A re-occuring theme I've seen at various offices I worked that have been female-dominated.
so you just sit and listen? if the practice bothers you, you should say something to the women. why not "ask" them why they talk behind their coworkers backs yet super friendly in person?
so you just sit and listen? if the practice bothers you, you should say something to the women. why not "ask" them why they talk behind their coworkers backs yet super friendly in person?
Yup, I just sit there and listen....
As a brand new employee at this place, I dont feel it my place to question her relationship.
What I find strange is that women I have observed talking trash about other women in the office often times are their friends.... or at least act like their friends..
I'm just trying to figure out why I have encountered this so much. Work is already difficult enough...why complicate it with back-stabbing and gossip... and trash talking.
Every office I've worked at in education....has been like this. This "smile in your face" stuff, yet talking smack once you've left the room.
I can only imagine what they say about me... Makes me wonder what they say. They certainly have no problem talking about other people with me,.... so what's to say they dont talk crap about me once I'm out of the room?
The behavior you have described is not limited to women.
I am in a traditionally male dominated profession and most of the men I know via work gossip more than any woman I have ever known.
They also spend twice the amount of time talking on the phone about absolutely nothing.
I'm sure they do talk about you when you are gone but you also talk about them when they are not around so this is a two way street for you.
I want to start off by saying that I have absolutely no issue with women in the work place, however allow me to make an obersvation as a male....
I work in a pretty female dominated field... education.
Many women are teachers and administrators at the school I work at..
I have observed that the women I work with tend to gossip about other people all the time. And yet.. the people they gossip about and talk "smack" on... are the very people they laugh with... cry with... and act friendly totheir face, yet once they leave...I hear them talking crap about other women. .. "her nail polish looks ridiculous"..... "that top she's wearing is an interesting one" *rolls eyes
I recently started at a new school back in July....and one of my colleagues was nice enough to invite me out with her and a few of her friends... I accepted the offer to go out and while out all they did was talk smack about other women that they work with. I was floored. My colleague proceeded to call this woman (whom I took the place of...) a nasty b!t&h.... she's psycho...split-personality etc...
yet the very next day at work...they're sitting with eachother...talking and laughing and complimenting eachother on their hair.... like ummmm ok,
whats up with that? I actually find it tedious and rather annoying. The night before she's talking all this trash and 12 hours later they're best friends.
It makes me wanna roll my eyes and makes me think they're acting childish and just plain old immature. Because I know what she really feels and I see her being fake. I dont like fakeness.
A re-occuring theme I've seen at various offices I worked that have been female-dominated.
Welcome to the world of mean girls. Women are awful. Just avoid them if you can - I've seen them turn on men, too.
Education definitely seems to be a hotbed for gossips. My only take on it is that gossip is social capital. It makes the gossiper feel like they are in a position of power to have everyone hanging on their every word. I can't explain the two-faced aspect of it, though, how they would be nice one moment then bring out the claws the next.
Having a company with a lot of young male employees, I don't see them gossip, but they do a lot of posturing. If they all end up in the break room, they do a lot of one-upmanship about stuff like how much they drank, how late they stayed somewhere, who won the soccer/softball game they played in or how much they spent on XX.
In medicine, the male nurses can be the biggest gossips. I would say of the nastiest gossips I know, 2 are guys and 3 are women.
And the male docs and administrators sleep around (at work!) waaaayyyyyy more than the female ones.
I'm a female and all my colleagues are females. Almost everyone gossips about someone in the office. Few do suck up to the people they don't like and talk smack about them behind their backs. But the common denominator is gossip. There are only a couple of women who haven't gossiped (or at least I haven't heard them). I try to be as neutral as possible, especially since I'm new, but I can feel myself getting sucked into the gossip sometimes. Some of the gossip is about valid issues and crazy colleagues.
I would agree gossip is very common among people, especially in women as it's seen as a form of bonding. Gossip is also more centralized in Asian cultures - collectivistic cultures.
Honestly, it can get very old quickly and it's very annoying when there's hypocrisy involved.
I want to start off by saying that I have absolutely no issue with women in the work place, however allow me to make an obersvation as a male....
I work in a pretty female dominated field... education.
Many women are teachers and administrators at the school I work at..
I have observed that the women I work with tend to gossip about other people all the time. And yet.. the people they gossip about and talk "smack" on... are the very people they laugh with... cry with... and act friendly totheir face, yet once they leave...I hear them talking crap about other women. .. "her nail polish looks ridiculous"..... "that top she's wearing is an interesting one" *rolls eyes
I recently started at a new school back in July....and one of my colleagues was nice enough to invite me out with her and a few of her friends... I accepted the offer to go out and while out all they did was talk smack about other women that they work with. I was floored. My colleague proceeded to call this woman (whom I took the place of...) a nasty b!t&h.... she's psycho...split-personality etc...
yet the very next day at work...they're sitting with eachother...talking and laughing and complimenting eachother on their hair.... like ummmm ok,
whats up with that? I actually find it tedious and rather annoying. The night before she's talking all this trash and 12 hours later they're best friends.
It makes me wanna roll my eyes and makes me think they're acting childish and just plain old immature. Because I know what she really feels and I see her being fake. I dont like fakeness.
A re-occuring theme I've seen at various offices I worked that have been female-dominated.
You have no one to blame but yourself.
"and one of my colleagues was nice enough to invite me out with her and a few of her friends... I accepted the offer"
When do we learn? You already stated you have run into this same exact situation in the past, than you act shocked that it happened again.
Kind of like hitting yourself in the head with a hammer and being surprised it hurts the second time, just like it did the first time.
You politely decline these invitations. Yes, they will probably talk about you behind your back, but at least you won't subject yourself to this or be put in an uncomfortable position.
It's work, whether it is a school or an office. You're under no obligation to socialize with anyone outside of the building.
The definition of insanity is "doing the same thing over and over, yet expecting different results".
I just want everyone to shut the front door*, do their work, and be professional.
But now there are studies that show gossip bonds the workplace, yadda yadda.
Ugh.
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