U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 08-10-2014, 08:44 AM
 
192 posts, read 169,385 times
Reputation: 103

Advertisements

So we've been college buddies for about 4 years, and I feel like I have matured and he hasn't. For example:

-All he does is talk about NFL football. ALL THE TIME. Doesn't matter what month its in.
-He rewatches PRESEASON games if he's bored.
-Texts me several times a day about a single play he saw rewatching the preseason game
-Analyses every play in a preseason game and email's me his thoughts (srs)
-[b]So awfully awkward around women that I actually considered he was gay. I went out with him a couple months ago, and a girl started talking to me. Before I could get into the conversation, or get her number, he is like "who is that? "do you know her?" "did you just start talking to her?" etc etc


Now, I like football a lot, but too much is too much. I wake up and there are texts from him.

I feel like I have matured: I read books, am in grad school, study a lot. All he does is watch sports, and teases me when I stay in to study.

Really not fun to hang out with any more, idk what to do. He has mentioned I don't hang out w him as much as I used to.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 08-10-2014, 09:03 AM
 
24 posts, read 20,770 times
Reputation: 36
He sounds needy so hook him up with a girl.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-10-2014, 09:40 AM
 
Location: Greenbelt, MD
8,956 posts, read 6,493,785 times
Reputation: 44306
Since I hate football that would be a nightmare for me.

You will find out that there will only be a select few current friends that will last long term.
Sounds like you all need to part ways. Just keep distancing yourself from him and hopefully he can take the hint. If not be blunt and tell him.

You can't choose your family but you can choose your friends.

Quote:
...and teases me when I stay in to study.
Stand up for yourself and tell him off the next time he does that to you. What a jerk.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-10-2014, 09:43 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
22,533 posts, read 24,125,101 times
Reputation: 48896
Do you respond to his football texts and emails? Do you talk with him about sports? If so, then just stop. If you stop engaging him on the subjects that are boring you, he may give up, which is what you want.

I have a friend who's on the verge of becoming a middle-aged cat lady, so when she starts droning on about all the cute things her animals have done, I change the subject. And I make light-hearted jokes about her being a cat lady. It's part of who she is, and I wouldn't want her to change, but she knows where I stand.

Last edited by fleetiebelle; 08-10-2014 at 10:02 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-10-2014, 09:48 AM
 
3,062 posts, read 1,562,481 times
Reputation: 3202
Quote:
Originally Posted by Canada Boy View Post
So we've been college buddies for about 4 years, and I feel like I have matured and he hasn't. For example:

-All he does is talk about NFL football. ALL THE TIME. Doesn't matter what month its in.
-He rewatches PRESEASON games if he's bored.
-Texts me several times a day about a single play he saw rewatching the preseason game
-Analyses every play in a preseason game and email's me his thoughts (srs)
-[b]So awfully awkward around women that I actually considered he was gay. I went out with him a couple months ago, and a girl started talking to me. Before I could get into the conversation, or get her number, he is like "who is that? "do you know her?" "did you just start talking to her?" etc etc


Now, I like football a lot, but too much is too much. I wake up and there are texts from him.

I feel like I have matured: I read books, am in grad school, study a lot. All he does is watch sports, and teases me when I stay in to study.

Really not fun to hang out with any more, idk what to do. He has mentioned I don't hang out w him as much as I used to.
You have different interest. I wouldn't look down on him for that. I think you just need to find friends who meet your needs in other ways.

As far as the text, their are neutral ways of responding.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-10-2014, 09:53 AM
 
192 posts, read 169,385 times
Reputation: 103
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
Do you respond to his football texts and emails? Do you talk with him about sports? If so, then just stop. If you stop engaging him on the subjects that are boring you, he may give up, which is what you want.
I do often, to be honest, but he takes it too far. Its fun to talk about for a day or two, but when its Wednesday afternoon and that's what he texts me about....its like, dude its Wednesday afternoon, give it a break.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-10-2014, 09:58 AM
 
Location: Greenbelt, MD
8,956 posts, read 6,493,785 times
Reputation: 44306
Quote:
Originally Posted by Canada Boy View Post
I do often, to be honest, but he takes it too far. Its fun to talk about for a day or two, but when its Wednesday afternoon and that's what he texts me about....its like, dude its Wednesday afternoon, give it a break.
You're doing yourself no favors by doing this. He's obsessed and you're not.

Quit texting him back or stop complaining about him. It appears you are giving him mixed signals and that is not cool.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-10-2014, 09:59 AM
 
3,062 posts, read 1,562,481 times
Reputation: 3202
Quote:
Originally Posted by Canada Boy View Post
, dude its Wednesday afternoon, give it a break.
That is how you feel. Have you shared this with him? Friends should be able to share stuff like this.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-10-2014, 10:09 AM
 
4,787 posts, read 9,292,750 times
Reputation: 12632
It's time for you to find new friends. As you grow older you'll find this is common. You're at a different place in your life now and you need friends who match your interests. You don't have completely drop your old friend but you can certainly limit contact with him.

This old friend also sounds as if he may have Asperger's Syndrome. He's totally preoccupied with just one thing to the exclusion of all other things. The depth of his immersion in NFL football goes beyond what most people would tolerate but to him it seems normal. He doesn't realize no one else care that much. He's also clueless in social interactions. Both are typical situations with some Aspie's.

You can try speaking to him about the football thing. Just tell him that you're not interested in it out of season and you don't care to receive his texts about trivialities. Ask him to try to cut back on attempting to involve you in it. He may understand and he may not.

Then begin to expand your social circle and try to find additional friends.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-10-2014, 10:35 AM
 
Location: Cape Coma Florida
1,369 posts, read 1,858,683 times
Reputation: 2929
Sounds like your friend is far too narrowly focused on the football thing and needs to broaden his horizons. I've known people like this in the past, and left them in the past.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top