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Old 08-11-2014, 06:44 PM
 
5,832 posts, read 5,670,064 times
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two out of two people i had not talked with in 20 years changed so much, we were totally different than when we were best freinds. one turned out really normal just settle down with children, home, and family, and the other one was psychotic and scarey to be around.

Safest place to meet up is at a function like a school reuinon where you can see each other, and then decide if you want to further a renewed freindship.
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Old 08-11-2014, 06:54 PM
 
Location: Canada (I've lived in 5 different provinces)
188 posts, read 181,877 times
Reputation: 426
I've never regretted reconnecting with a friend from the past, even an ex-boyfriend or two (although there were a couple I blew off - didn't want to go there again).
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Old 08-11-2014, 08:28 PM
 
Location: California
30,509 posts, read 33,322,731 times
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Happened to both me and my husband. All three times someone was trying to sell something.
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Old 08-11-2014, 08:38 PM
 
1,915 posts, read 3,334,934 times
Reputation: 3024
I think people that reach out after that long are either looking for something from you or are going through some personal issues. Too bad she didn't just explain why she wants to talk with you in her message.

Sounds like you aren't keen on speaking with her, so don't. Not a big deal to just voice mail deal with her, if she calls again. Happens all the time.
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Old 08-11-2014, 09:35 PM
 
Location: 1000 miles from nowhere
549 posts, read 434,898 times
Reputation: 975
I think it's kind of nice to run into an old acquaintance. I've never had one contact me out of the blue, but I'm pretty invisible on the social media radar anyways. I usually avoid people but somehow I've not minded seeing old classmates.. usually we have nothing in common, but it's nice to catch up with someone who was really a part of everyday life for 12 or so years (if you went to the same school, as many in my small town did). I find everyone's more mature (naturally) and kinder- far beyond the high school politics and gossip. If someone called me up I would probably follow up with them just to see what's up.
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Old 08-12-2014, 12:50 AM
 
12,544 posts, read 12,460,613 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kharing View Post
I think people that reach out after that long are either looking for something from you or are going through some personal issues. Too bad she didn't just explain why she wants to talk with you in her message.

Sounds like you aren't keen on speaking with her, so don't. Not a big deal to just voice mail deal with her, if she calls again. Happens all the time.
I agree. It's like when someone you haven't spoken to in 30 years or more sends you a friend request on FB. That happened to me the other day. She moved away when I was 6 or 7, so that's more than 40 years ago. She called me once when I was in college, 27 years ago.

I just wasn't happy to get the request. Her older brothers were thugs, and one of them did time for stabbing someone. Her mother was kind of mean, and I think I saw her father twice. They were racists, complete with free use of epithets. When I spoke to her when I was in college, it just felt awkward. If I recall correctly, she had her daughter when she was in high school or some such. The call was all about her husband or boyfriend or someone being in a union or something after "straightening himself out," and talk of her mother's breast cancer. I vaguely remember something about either a previous boyfriend or her husband beating her, too. Not to sound snooty or elitist or anything, but it was just such a different life path than the one I was on that I couldn't relate to any of it and didn't want to listen to it.

Plus, on her FB profile, she looks miserable in all of her pictures. I won't go so far as to say meth-head, but something was off. Tightly clamped mouth, eyes slightly wild and like they'd seen too much. She looks like life had beaten her to hell and she was ornery as a hornet about it.

Ya know, I just don't want to deal with it, so I denied the request.

And she sent another one today!

So I blocked her. Take a dang hint!
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Old 08-12-2014, 01:05 AM
 
Location: Ohio
5,626 posts, read 5,027,021 times
Reputation: 6765
Maybe they are planning your reunion? Just call them back and see. Youre only talking on the phone, not making a dinner date.
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Old 08-12-2014, 07:15 AM
 
13,675 posts, read 13,485,460 times
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I've had almost uniformly lovely experiences reconnecting with friends from my past. One friend was a waitress at the restaurant and I thought she looked far to young to be one of my former classmates, even though she was the spitting image. Well, turns out she just didn't age. At all. So we've kept up contact since then.

Sometimes you just don't click, but sometimes you re-start a friendship and it's stronger than it was before.
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Old 08-12-2014, 11:58 AM
 
1,728 posts, read 1,324,333 times
Reputation: 1078
Thank you everyone for the replies. I have decided not to call her back. If it was someone I was closer to then I would. She was a friend, but I can't say she was a close friend. I really have no desire to catch up with her, I was just worried about being rude. I have this habit of doing things I don't really want to because I am always afraid of hurting others or being rude, and I think I need to stop.
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Old 08-12-2014, 01:43 PM
 
Location: Greenbelt, MD
8,929 posts, read 6,463,695 times
Reputation: 44187
Since you feel uncomfortable there is no reason for you to call back. Hopefully the person will get the message.

I would likely do the same. I have no interest in someone I once knew from that long ago. Likely they are part of the past for a reason...
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