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Old 10-06-2016, 09:46 PM
 
3,137 posts, read 1,804,607 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by christiechase84 View Post
This is going to sound harsh, but sometimes, a girl will lose her worthiness if she isn't doing it with the guy friend. This isn't everyone, but it happens to a lot of women who think they can keep friends with guys, especially if the guy wants to have you. He was probably too shy to pursue you, and since you didn't take the reigns, it finally fizzled out.
Agree.


I think he wanted to pursue, couldn't work up the nerve to, and then it went flat.
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Old 10-06-2016, 09:47 PM
 
3,137 posts, read 1,804,607 times
Reputation: 5989
I had a male friend in my 20s (strictly platonic) and he told me one day, he was moving away. Then he said he didn't want to stay in touch with me, either. Although I hadn't even mentioned keeping in touch or asking him where he was moving to. It was strange but I stopped caring a long time ago.
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Old 10-07-2016, 08:44 PM
 
Location: Kirkland, WA (Metro Seattle)
3,918 posts, read 3,212,920 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tassity22 View Post
I had a male friend in my 20s (strictly platonic) and he told me one day, he was moving away. Then he said he didn't want to stay in touch with me, either. Although I hadn't even mentioned keeping in touch or asking him where he was moving to. It was strange but I stopped caring a long time ago.
I've highlighted one word in the above, thanks.

As a guy, would guess it "wasn't" from his perspective if not yours. I've been in that unfortunate situation a few times, developing feels (perhaps) that cannot be reciprocated.

Then, when I wised up, I broke things off. Better for everyone involved, really.

Just a thought. Some men call it "Ladder Theory," if you're interested, and it is indeed how (many, if not most) men think. To that end: jumping from the Friend Ladder to the Good (Real) Ladder is often perilous and typically fails. Some guys take awhile to figure that out. If you were in your 20s, I assume he was too: typical mistake for a man in his 20s, actually. Seeing no way to ladder jump, he split. Which is smart.

Past 15-20 years, now in my late 40s, I've either had women on the Friend Ladder OR the Good (Real) Ladder, and never tried to ladder-jump former to latter. Ever. Saves lots of time and heartache for all.

Was just listening today to my relatively-new GF explain some guy's puzzling behavior on FB toward her, now that I'm around. Yep: that guy was on the Friend Ladder, wanted to ladder-jump, waited too long, kept my (now) GF in the "bank" (that usually doesn't work either, btw), then got all upset when she was (is) now taken.

He's cast into the Abyss.

I, in-contrast, never for one second had her on the "Friend" Latter. Not from the first time we went out, all was clear from that day forward. Men attempt, women choose, period.

So ends one set of possibilities...just how guys are.
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