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Old 08-16-2014, 06:03 PM
 
55 posts, read 98,975 times
Reputation: 24

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Honestly, I can't really describe what type of love I feel for him. Sometimes it feels like fatherly, mentor love. Other times it's kind of a puppy love. Other times it's obsessive and an infatuation. I certainly don't wish to enter into a romantic relationship with him, but other times that type of love feeling pops up too. Maybe it's more strange to have such strong emotions toward a friend (especially one who's older)? And, I don't have this strong of a feeling of love for any of my other friends. I just liken it to love is a very powerful and complicated emotion and maybe I just love all aspects of him. I don't think he's just trying to be "nice and offer support." He certainly does that, but after 4 years of constantly talking and supporting each other in our hobbies and jobs; going out of each other's way to make the other happy? That doesn't really sound like just being nice. Besides, I'm also very stubborn and get very emotional and we've had our share of fights, but we've always made up and remained friends. He also speaks very highly of me when I'm not around (another friend of mine told me how he was going on and on beaming about me accomplishing something recently). So, it's weird that I can't really pin down what type of love I feel for him. All of them at once I suppose.
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Old 08-16-2014, 06:10 PM
 
55 posts, read 98,975 times
Reputation: 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ceece View Post
I have friends of all ages and am the "older friend" to younger people myself. That said, you sound a little obsessive about it...


Do you have romantic interests in him? Does he share that? Is he married or involved with someone else? So many questions.

ANYWAY...chill out about it. Nobody wants a friend who's an obsessive stalker who's happiness is dependent on the friendship and it sounds like you are straddling that line.
See, that's something I constantly worry about. I make sure to check with him often that I'm not pushing it and being clingy and stalker-esque. He always assures me that I'm not. In fact, the only time that he says that I get clingy is if I say he doesn't do enough for me or be there enough for me (which really only happens once every few months at the most). Even still, he gets over it and we go back to chatting every day like normal. I know I'm also way more intense than his other friends who are more chill. Probably mostly because of my worrying that he thinks I'm a stalker or clingy.

Also, no he's single, and I know there's no reason to think he's romantically interested in me. I'm not either, but see my above post too.
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Old 08-16-2014, 07:30 PM
 
Location: Squirrel Hill PA
1,929 posts, read 1,862,232 times
Reputation: 3925
I have pretty much always had friends that were much older than me. When I was a teenager I spent most of my time horseback riding with a man in his 60's. Nothing wrong with that. A little harder for him since you are young and very immature yet. In time you will realist that great friends can go a long time without seeing each other and still be great friends. But this comes with age. This is not meant to be negative toward you. All young people have this lack of experience.

It is on;y now I am i my mid-forties that I actually have more close friends my own age and I still have friends who are 20-30 years older and some also who are 20 years younger. Friendships are not about age they are about enjoying one another's company and shared interests. Don't worry about what your sister thinks. But do try to relax a bit ad let your friend have some breathing room.
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Old 08-16-2014, 07:59 PM
 
20 posts, read 20,684 times
Reputation: 31
who defines right, wrong, or appropriateness?
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Old 08-16-2014, 08:16 PM
 
Location: interior Alaska
4,433 posts, read 3,287,562 times
Reputation: 13591
You're 24, not 17. Be friends with an older guy if you want to. Heck, be more than friends with an older guy if you both want to. As long as no one's exploiting anyone or doing anything they don't want, it's fine.
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Old 08-16-2014, 09:08 PM
 
Location: White House, TN
5,553 posts, read 3,899,347 times
Reputation: 3467
Not a thing wrong with it. I'm 21 and have many older friends myself.
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Old 08-16-2014, 09:18 PM
 
Location: Southern California
15,088 posts, read 17,506,015 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainCode View Post
Is it wrong to have a friend who is 25 years older than me?
No. Ignore your sister.

You have more important issues to worry about.

[like your mom's health]
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Old 08-16-2014, 09:26 PM
 
726 posts, read 696,953 times
Reputation: 1718
lol. Yes it is, you should be ashamed of yourself. What are you thinking?
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Old 08-17-2014, 12:50 AM
 
78 posts, read 100,220 times
Reputation: 35
Derp
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Old 08-17-2014, 01:13 AM
 
2,542 posts, read 5,976,131 times
Reputation: 2597
Absolutely normal. And love comes in all shapes and forms, so don't think too deeply about that either. I find it hard not to love people. I love my best friend as deeply and strongly as I do my husband, just in a different way.

Ignore your sister.
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