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Old 08-30-2014, 07:57 PM
 
275 posts, read 154,960 times
Reputation: 392

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If you ask me, it depends on several factors. I do think age, marital status, and parental status influences the stigmas. The OPs example is a young 20 yr old woman without kids. I As someone pointed out, there seems to be a problem with childless women who dont have jobs. While I agree having children and taking care of elderly are needed for survival of society. but how is it more importatn? A couple of posters seem to be saying a childless person who volunteers or has a 9-5 high power job isnt contributing as much as someone with kids with no job. Even if the said wife or girlfriend is staying home getting spoiled or doing the spoiling, she isnt getting child tax credits or other tax benefits given to parents. The spouse's income also pay taxes and bills like everyone else. It is a couple's choice in who stays home regardless of parental status. As far as Americans lacking family ties, I suppose that notion is typical of countries with strong Patriarchal and religious influences where women are lessened to submissive servants. Americana's seniors are getting more independent and prefer to not live with family. Biological family ties really mean nothing.
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Old 08-31-2014, 09:14 AM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,698 posts, read 23,600,879 times
Reputation: 35449
OP, I don't mean any offense to you, but if you are looking for a job, you would do better if you brushed up on your grammar in your resume writing. This might also help in getting into the grad school of your choice.

Your grammar and sentence structure is sub-par and the use of spell check wouldn't hurt either. I am not trying to be the "Grammar Police" but since you mention your resumes haven't gotten you very far, I just wanted to make the suggestion that a poor resume presentation could be holding you back. When you know what you want to do and are seriously looking for work, you will need to do better.

In my last company, I was part of a team that reviewed resumes. We looked and around twenty to twenty five a day. I am sorry but resumes written with the grammatical errors such as those displayed in your post would have gotten your resume tossed in the first cut. There is a lot of competition out there. Those who do it right the first time are those who go through the first round. Resumes do not have to be grammatically perfect but they do have polished and readable. My suggestion to you would be to go to a professional resume maker and have someone look yours over to make it look just right.

Please take my advice as being helpful. I wish you luck in your job search or grad school applications. Don't worry about other people male or female and what is and isn't fair. Life is never fair "socialogically" or otherwise. Just focus on your own skills. No excuses that this one or that one gets preference because of gender or whatever. Get out there with the best you can be. Good luck.
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Old 09-02-2014, 02:32 AM
 
Location: the sweetest place on earth
54 posts, read 82,352 times
Reputation: 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by Minervah View Post
OP, I don't mean any offense to you, but if you are looking for a job, you would do better if you brushed up on your grammar in your resume writing. This might also help in getting into the grad school of your choice.

Your grammar and sentence structure is sub-par and the use of spell check wouldn't hurt either. I am not trying to be the "Grammar Police" but since you mention your resumes haven't gotten you very far, I just wanted to make the suggestion that a poor resume presentation could be holding you back. When you know what you want to do and are seriously looking for work, you will need to do better.

In my last company, I was part of a team that reviewed resumes. We looked and around twenty to twenty five a day. I am sorry but resumes written with the grammatical errors such as those displayed in your post would have gotten your resume tossed in the first cut. There is a lot of competition out there. Those who do it right the first time are those who go through the first round. Resumes do not have to be grammatically perfect but they do have polished and readable. My suggestion to you would be to go to a professional resume maker and have someone look yours over to make it look just right.

Please take my advice as being helpful. I wish you luck in your job search or grad school applications. Don't worry about other people male or female and what is and isn't fair. Life is never fair "socialogically" or otherwise. Just focus on your own skills. No excuses that this one or that one gets preference because of gender or whatever. Get out there with the best you can be. Good luck.
Thank you. Maybe this is what I needed to hear. Could you provide me an example of my sub-par grammar and sentence structure?

Needless to say, thanks again. A reality check never hurts.
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Old 09-02-2014, 03:37 AM
 
8,018 posts, read 6,578,949 times
Reputation: 12038
I don't see why anyone would look at an unemployed, single able-bodied 23 year old woman any different from a man of the same age in the same situation.
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Old 09-02-2014, 01:20 PM
 
Location: Dayton, Ohio
190 posts, read 220,475 times
Reputation: 282
Default Yes.

Absolutely. While women now have the "privilege" (hah!) of slaving away for the man/working for a living, it will always be considered socially acceptable, if not ideal according to some standards, for them to marry, stay in the home, and raise children. Men are not afforded a similar luxury; it is a social mandate and near-universal expectation that we support ourselves, along with (in many cases) a wife and children.
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Old 09-02-2014, 02:04 PM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,698 posts, read 23,600,879 times
Reputation: 35449
Quote:
Originally Posted by globalunit View Post
In this day and age it still seems like women can get away with being unemployed (often by choice of laziness) or working very part-time DESPITE not having children or being married. I say this because I JUST graduated from college (double major) and was taking accelerated summer classes that I was striving(and made) straight A's to open more prospects for graduate school and bolster my GPA. A buddy of mine's dad made a comment today that kind of striked a chord but I felt he was kind of judging me when he asked "are you working"? "You need a job,man" to which I told him I've sent out several resumes as well as grad schools(gathering all required materials which is quite a process) so I'm not entirely sure what I'm doing yet. Meanwhile, my sister (in her early 20's, no kids either and was not taking summer courses or have a job besides the occasional babysitting gig did not and does not ever seem to get the same comments or criticism despite pretty much living off her boyfriend (who she doesn't even live with), and my working class mom.

So, from a sociological perspective if you will,despite the modern era of "equality" and women's rights,do you believe the gender stereotypes still hold true that a woman will still be judged less harshly if she doesn't really work and "lives off people" and generally lives a leisurely life on other peoples dim-be it parents, significant other,etc. Even with no kids? What are your thoughts?


PS. I'm not insulting women or trying to cause a dispute as I know there are MANY hard working women juggling multiple jobs,school, raising kids,etc.Im just interested from a sociological perspective as gender roles has always been an area of interest to me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by globalunit View Post
Thank you. Maybe this is what I needed to hear. Could you provide me an example of my sub-par grammar and sentence structure?

Needless to say, thanks again. A reality check never hurts.
Okay as I said I didn't want to be the grammar police but here were a couple that stood out right away. If I noticed them it's possible that a potential employer might notice similar errors as well.

I realize this was just a post on an informal website but the use of parentheses and caps were a bit much in your first paragraph and your first paragraph was far too long. It is best to break down sentences in to short ones and definitely divide thoughts into separate paragraphs. Your first paragraph could have been divided into at least three.

I don't know how they are teaching writing in school these days but the rule was always "new thought, new paragraph." It makes it so much easier for the reader to follow. Remember your target audience of a prospective employer is wading though hundreds of resumes. Make it short and readable. No extras or asides. Make them complete thoughts if you want to include them.

Some bolded words: "striked" isn't a word. It should be "struck." "Mine" is already possessive, "mine's" is not its plural possessive form. That whole sentence in blue was a little disjointed going from resumes to grad school. I think we got the picture but it jumped around a lot and could have used some punctuation for clarification. As an example, did you send your resumes to companies and grad school? I thought maybe you meant you sent resumes out for jobs and applications to grad school but I could be wrong.

I have been on both the sides of the desk. A new college grad has to be very, very careful with what is shown on his or her resume. Your sister might be lucky in that right now she doesn't have to go through this ordeal but some day she might. I don't think it's a matter of gender roles.
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Old 09-03-2014, 07:58 PM
 
Location: the sweetest place on earth
54 posts, read 82,352 times
Reputation: 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by Minervah View Post
Okay as I said I didn't want to be the grammar police but here were a couple that stood out right away. If I noticed them it's possible that a potential employer might notice similar errors as well.

I realize this was just a post on an informal website but the use of parentheses and caps were a bit much in your first paragraph and your first paragraph was far too long. It is best to break down sentences in to short ones and definitely divide thoughts into separate paragraphs. Your first paragraph could have been divided into at least three.

I don't know how they are teaching writing in school these days but the rule was always "new thought, new paragraph." It makes it so much easier for the reader to follow. Remember your target audience of a prospective employer is wading though hundreds of resumes. Make it short and readable. No extras or asides. Make them complete thoughts if you want to include them.

Some bolded words: "striked" isn't a word. It should be "struck." "Mine" is already possessive, "mine's" is not its plural possessive form. That whole sentence in blue was a little disjointed going from resumes to grad school. I think we got the picture but it jumped around a lot and could have used some punctuation for clarification. As an example, did you send your resumes to companies and grad school? I thought maybe you meant you sent resumes out for jobs and applications to grad school but I could be wrong.

I have been on both the sides of the desk. A new college grad has to be very, very careful with what is shown on his or her resume. Your sister might be lucky in that right now she doesn't have to go through this ordeal but some day she might. I don't think it's a matter of gender roles.
Very well said. This was helpful. I am applying to jobs and graduate schools. Thanks for the corrections.
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Old 09-04-2014, 08:31 PM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,698 posts, read 23,600,879 times
Reputation: 35449
Quote:
Originally Posted by globalunit View Post
Very well said. This was helpful. I am applying to jobs and graduate schools. Thanks for the corrections.
You are very welcome and thank you for taking this in the spirit of helpfulness as it was meant to be. That was part of my last job before I retired. Sometimes candidates who were rejected would ask why they were rejected. I would be glad to help them with their resume if that was the problem but I am not a professional resume writer so I would always suggest they consult one if I thought that would help.

So another tip is that it doesn't hurt when you don't get the job to ask why. Often you will be ignored but sometimes someone will tell you why you didn't qualify. If it was based on your resume, that is something that can easily be improved for the next job application.

Good luck in your career goals.
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Old 09-05-2014, 07:30 AM
 
8,324 posts, read 9,769,584 times
Reputation: 10623
There is a double standard out there, OP. But it's one that is dying. Do your part to kill it by not being one of these sucker men that supports an unemployed woman. Any adult, regardless of sex, must be expected to work.
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Old 09-14-2014, 12:21 AM
 
85 posts, read 92,392 times
Reputation: 133
Quote:
Originally Posted by 11thHour View Post
There is a double standard out there, OP. But it's one that is dying. Do your part to kill it by not being one of these sucker men that supports an unemployed woman. Any adult, regardless of sex, must be expected to work.
If I end up in a relationship/marriage where I'm the one working, my husband better be doing something. Taking care of the kids, doing chores, or even trying to make self-employment work.

I was raised in a traditional Korean family, so I'll put in my two cents.

My dad has no sons. My dad is the last son of his generation with two sisters. Both of his sisters (my aunts) don't have any children. So my dad grew up really... uh, coddled. Didn't know how to cook for himself/other people. He didn't know how to clean. When he came home from work, he just relaxed and expected dinner to be ready on the table. Besides working, he didn't contribute to anything else. For most of my life, he was a very distant, usually absent authority figure and my stepmother was the one who cooked and cleaned after she got home from work. Despite his very traditional values, he at least understood that there wasn't any way for my stepmom to just stay home and take care of the kids.

When my younger sister was born, after my stepmom had to go back to work eventually, I was the one who took care of the baby as soon as I got home from school (I was ten years old). My stepmom would fix dinner for later and take off for work in the late afternoon and I was responsible for the baby and house chores. Granted, I realize that not all families can have extra help in raising a child and keeping the house clean. Maybe you don't live near any relatives... But your kids aren't going to be helpless for so long. Make them do something to help around the house.

As my older sister and I are grown adults now, my dad has changed. If my stepmom is working in the evenings, he'll help out with making dinner and cleaning up. He's also a lot closer to us now.
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