Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I recently got back in touch with someone I kind of knew about 20 yrs ago. We weren't close friends by any stretch of the imagination. But definitely somebody that I enjoyed talking to every now and then at social occasions. We know some of the same people I guess. But no strong friendship way back then.
Except, omg, he is so interesting! We've been emailing back and forth and I can't believe how interesting he is. His perspective on life, the way he frames his experiences. The emails are all super lengthy, but I really enjoy them. He's living overseas and I think it's probably just a way for him to pass some time. I've already said, kind of tongue in cheek, that I'd be happy to be his pen pal. So I guess we're kind of pen pals now. I keep expecting the last email I send to be the last email he responds to. But he keeps responding. And he's still interesting! Why didn't I take the time to get to know him better when we were in school together??
This is strictly a platonic thing. The conversations are more serious than anything. (but interesting). I'd have no problem showing my husband every last email. Except there are a lot of them. And when I mentioned to my husband that I was corresponding with the guy, his reaction was kind of odd. I think my husband feels kind of threatened by him professionally and I don't want to rub his nose in that.
I don't even really know what my question is. This is very unusual for me though. I often reconnect with people from my past but it just naturally dies out. This seems to be the opposite. So I guess I just keep responding? I don't think I can keep it up too much longer. I don't have enough interesting things left to share!
I don't have enough interesting things left to share!
Have him join City Data forums. You both could comment on lots of OP topics, and even comment on each others' posts (publicly or through private messages).
When you say you think your husband feels kinda threatened by him (yeah I know, "professionally"), I think it is time to pause the emails and have a conversation with the husband. Anybody can say anything in writing.
I really want my husband to read the emails. Just because the guy's experiences are so interesting. He really needs to blog, or write a book. If hubby is uncomfortable, then I guess I'll stop emailing him. WHich is ok, bcs Im serious when I say I don't have much to add at this point!
I recently got back in touch with someone I kind of knew about 20 yrs ago. We weren't close friends by any stretch of the imagination. But definitely somebody that I enjoyed talking to every now and then at social occasions. We know some of the same people I guess. But no strong friendship way back then.
Except, omg, he is so interesting! We've been emailing back and forth and I can't believe how interesting he is. His perspective on life, the way he frames his experiences. The emails are all super lengthy, but I really enjoy them. He's living overseas and I think it's probably just a way for him to pass some time. I've already said, kind of tongue in cheek, that I'd be happy to be his pen pal. So I guess we're kind of pen pals now. I keep expecting the last email I send to be the last email he responds to. But he keeps responding. And he's still interesting! Why didn't I take the time to get to know him better when we were in school together??
This is strictly a platonic thing. The conversations are more serious than anything. (but interesting). I'd have no problem showing my husband every last email. Except there are a lot of them. And when I mentioned to my husband that I was corresponding with the guy, his reaction was kind of odd. I think my husband feels kind of threatened by him professionally and I don't want to rub his nose in that.
I don't even really know what my question is. This is very unusual for me though. I often reconnect with people from my past but it just naturally dies out. This seems to be the opposite. So I guess I just keep responding? I don't think I can keep it up too much longer. I don't have enough interesting things left to share!
Has this ever happened to you?
You are corresponding with a man overseas who is not your husband. This is emotional cheating. It can lead to lots of hurt. Please let it stop. lots of hurt can happen unexpectedly.
You are corresponding with a man overseas who is not your husband. This is emotional cheating. It can lead to lots of hurt. Please let it stop. lots of hurt can happen unexpectedly.
^This.
Your husband is not threatened "professionally." He realizes that you are nurturing an emotional bond with this man that rightfully you should only have with your husband. You realize it too and that is your real question. You want to see of someone here will give you permission to continue. And someone probably will but you know it is time for you to stop this relationship and to devote your energy to your marriage. You will regret it if you don't.
No no no!! It is so NOT that. I can be honest bcs this is an anonymous forum. And I tell you 100% that it is not that. At ALL. There is nothing flirtatious or even light-hearted/joking around about it. Very above board. We are in the same field, went to the same graduate school. It's like talking to a like-minded colleague.
This isn't about whether I need to stop emailing bcs I'm married. It's about when to let the ebb and flow of conversation just...ebb.
OP - switch your situation around. Suppose you found out that your husband was having lengthy email contact with a woman overseas. Someone from his past that he looked up and found and now has a relationship with ( even if it is just via email).
.
How would you feel ? Suppose he said to you that he wanted to be pen pals with her. Would you be angry, threatened, jealous, sad ? Suppose your hubby said that this woman was just so interesting . What does that mean ? Would you feel that you are less interesting to him, especially after he tells you enthusiastically how great she is as a person.
Really think about what you're doing. I strongly suspect your hubby is very hurt by your actions. I think this pen pal relationship is going to have some adverse impact on your marriage.
Holy smokes. I have to say, I'm surprised. I've never thought of this guy as anybody except somebody that I would chat with every now and then. He was never a crush. My field is male dominated, so conversations about this industry with a guy doesn't feel like Im crossing any type of line. But maybe I need to rethink this...?
But there is no emotional connection. There is no flirtation. He's talking to me about his work experience and his experiences abroad.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
