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Do you want to try and turn this around? Don't like what I wrote because I, an 'internet stranger', called you on your unfriendly attitude and lack of compassion toward someone who suffers from a mental illness?
There's a lot to be learned about life --whether in school (where your sniveling behavior rates about 8th or 9th grade -- or by reading what people write. Unlike you, my 14 year old can take advice, and can recognize the truth -- so instead of trying to shield yourself behind my child, come on out and act like an adult you clam to be.
That's right -- you are a child. You're petulant and whiny, can't handle the fact that not everyone agrees with you. You still crave the acceptance and approval of others. You might think you have your act together, but you don't. Remember this: grown ups don't have to curse to make a point. Strong words = weak minds.
That you've "kept her around despite..." speaks volumes about you. You've used her as a warm body to have around when there is nothing better to do -- case in point, watch TV when your boyfriend isn't around to play house.
Face the fact and admit you are NOT friends with the girl who may (or may not have) blocked the toilet. If a clogged toilet is a large bone of contention for you, that's very shallow. For all we know, you could have flushed a tampon in it earlier and clogged things up. Friends give friends the benefit of doubt.
Listen, you are the one reading into issues I have with my friend. I'm not insulting or judging her for having a mental illness...heck my extended family is plagued by depression issues. I love the girl and I care for her but I'm fed up with the person she has become. She is negative, uninteresting, and keeps shady men around her. Her entire life purpose is about finishing an associates degree so she can move across the country to live with the man who sells oxycontin....at his moms house!!
I would never be friends with her if I didn't know her from before. I'm not sure where things went so wrong for her and I know depressed people who don't make the poor life choices she is making.
So go on and call me whatever insult you want...I have been raged at by menopausal women before so take care of yourself.
I have no complaints about any of my other friends. If this best friend wasn't my "best friend" I would have cut her loose a while ago. At this point her family treats me like family, invites me over on holidays, I can tell her anything about me, etc.
But she has led a very negative life. After high school I worked and put myself through college. She went to a $30,000 college for one semester before getting kicked out for failing all of her classes. She was too busy doing hard drugs and sleeping with guys. Since then she has not moved out of her moms house...its been seven years since then. Her only fun/good memories are from high school....she talks about high school a lot kind of like she "peaked" in high school.
Her last boyfriend was a coke dealing alcoholic who cheated on her...got another woman and then kept my friend as the side thing. He treated her like a dog and I had to be there while she cried and said she thought he was so "cool" and "I'll never date anyone that cool again!".
Her current boyfriend is a weed dealer and its long distance for 2 years now over 2000 miles apart. He lives in his mothers house and his passion in life is graffiti...not anything artistic just marking his "tag" everywhere. He is a 28 year old man.
The friends she trys to hang out with besides me (I'm her only friend) and generally shady, use a lot of drugs (mid 20s weed, extacy, no prescription xanax,etc), catty towards me, and most have talked a lot of **** about her. She might get to see them a couple times a year.
Lastly, she is very elitist and snobby. She issues disclaimers on several of her "comments" per night like "Okay I'm going to sound like a real snob but poor people in Cambridge are just gross! Poor people in France still dress nice"
or:
"Gross I would never live somewhere with a carpet. It can never be totally clean"
I'm not like that...I put myself through school, I stopped smoking weed when I was 21, I like to be happy and positive with other people like that, my other friends don't do drugs or associate with drug dealers, they are young professionals or grad students. No one is perfect but no one can be classified as shady.
I think your friend sounds like a loser, and you would be better off cutting her out of your life, no matter how close you are to her family (who, by the way, are enabling this scrub). If she asks what's up you just tell her you prefer to hang with people who are going to do something with their lives.
I unclogged the toilet but I'm still annoyed at her even if she didn't clog it. I'm not sure if its her anti-depressants but her affect is flat sometimes and she hasn't matured as I have.
If you're complaining about a friend clogging a toilet, she's not the only one who hasn't matured...
I unclogged the toilet but I'm still annoyed at her even if she didn't clog it. I'm not sure if its her anti-depressants but her affect is flat sometimes and she hasn't matured as I have. She comes over and I try to be a good host. I'm positive, ask her questions about her recent trip, look at her cell phone pictures for over 30 minutes, ask how her jerk off boyfriend is doing, offer food, etc....and she gives nothing.
I just moved to a new apartment and moved in with my boyfriend. She asks no questions about my life, the move, my boyfriend....In fact the only topics she brings up are:
1. Her boyfriend...any decent thing he does she divulges "he drew a heart for meee in graffiti"
2. Herself...mainly clothing she wants, the argan oil shampoo she bought, or the haircut she needs
3. She was born and raised in the US but her mother is French and she always likes to bring up how the US should be more like France...how much less annoying French people are than Bostonians/Cambridge people, how the poor people there aren't as ugly because the clothes are better....just super elitist for no reason. She complains about our city constantly which has its downfalls but she is so negative and has nothing nice to say. When I say "Well, those long vacations are nice but at least people here can get jobs out of college" she almost gets pissed at me.
Is this level of selfishness normal? She is my closest and longest friendship but every time we hang out I feel like she becomes more insufferable. We are both 25.
How exactly have you matured? I have read two posts from you and think you have a ways to go. Thanks for the laugh though.
I have a whole 'nother group of friends but they all work a lot and don't live in my neighborhood so I generally just see them during the weekend. This one doesn't work and lives at her mom's house so she can chill on a Wednesday night...weekends are usually filled with family activities for her with mother, stepsisters, etc.
I hang out with her because we have been friends since we were teenagers and have been together through a lot of crazy ups and downs.
I do expect someone to have a conversation with me that isn't one sided and I don't like when people come over and are always negative. Its okay to have a bad day but for her everyday is a bad day.
Sounds as if that was not too long ago for you. How old are you if you don't mind me asking?
I haven't read the whole thread but enough to form an opinion. I would move on and find another "best friend". Obviously, something isn't working with you two anymore.
I don't know if you should sit down with her and tell her how you feel or not. That is up to you. But I wouldn't feel guilty either in dissolving the friendship.
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